Smack*

Someone's been naughty...

All those things I've done. It's not revenge and it's not because I'm one of those people who get a kick out of doing those things. It's because it's what I want to do and no one can tell me to stop it even if it's not the right thing to do. Judge me, treat me like shit, do that and I won't give a damn what you say or do because it's my fucking life so leave me the fuck alone.

Pupil Free WHAT ?

Today, pupil free day for the selective schools in the area. I thought wow this is a great day to whatever I want. But instead I'm force to do what I don't want to do such as go out of the house. I just wanted to stay indoors under my warm blanket, but that couldnt happen because Sunshine turned the lights on and I was on the top bunk and ow my eyes hurt. Well before anyway.

I've done quite a lot of work today but I feel like something's missing and maybe that's because there's no school today and I totally missed out on the TV show I wanted to watch so therefore nothing. Just nothing. Haven't exercised for a while either. That should be done soon before I get more fatter. That reminds me I must check my BMI to see if I'm fat or not. I am, but I just gotta prove it to everyone.

Yesterday I found out how much people love me and I was telling my sister how I hated it that they do. Like I don't know. Being loved is such a nice feeling but there's so much work to keep up. Just another topic that I have to put out there. Must people try hard to be loved? When you get the answer to that please tell me.

A lot of thoughts came to my mind and it's just a yes or no. But whether it's the right thing to do or not then I don't know. I should think things through before I make any more bad choices. sigh.

laters,..
;]

Life, It Can Never Be How You Want it to Be

These past few days have been making me think. I guess it does help to be isolated from the world at times because then I could actually be myself and think about things and how they have been occuring lately. I don't know. I kinda feel happier right now, more lighter and less stress. Although theses holidays I have gained a lot of weight which I plan to lose soon by exercising daily, which I know will be a fail becauseI will forget or can't be bothered. But back to the subject, although I have gained a lot of weight I haven't had much pressure on how I look and appear especially around the house because no one here cares. No one will talk behind my back. My family I know they'll always be there for me no matter what. That's when it hit me. Why am I so scared of facing new people. I don't have to be the perfect stranger that they meet at a birthday party or at the mall. I could just be me and it doesn't matter what they think. As long as I have family, it's all good.

Things in life change all the time. I've noticed a lot of changes in everyone. Some changes may not be one that I like but what can I do. Nothing really. All I can do is sit back and watch because if I do anything it could become something worse than planned. Changes in my friends I've thought that maybe if that's what they want then good for them. I'll be the friend who'll just be there no matter who they are and what they do. Okay, well maybe not all the things they do. That could depend on what they do, but you get the whole idea.

I know this topic is kinda too out-there and not usually what I write about. But I've come to realise that my holidays have bee quite boring and not very eventful. Writing about a whole different topic has opened a whole new world to me and I like it. Only a couple more days till school and I'm quite excited though now that I am in year 10 in kinda scares me. So many exams and assignments. I know that I can do it. Anyone could, they just have to WANT IT. That's a good idea actually...

I WANT IT!

more than anyone else does.

Spending less time on the computer would also help me to accomplish this so I think I'm going to go now. Even though it's is just watching TV a change of scenery would still be good and healthy. That reminds me, I did exercise today. I lost 118 calories of doing 4 reps of 2.30minutes max, 1.30minutes min on the stationary bike. It felt good.

laters,..

;]

today

im hungry;

that was the first thought which popped into my head as soon as my mum woke me up to tell me that it was 11 in the morning and that I should get up. The weird thing was in my dream Bella (that book that my sister made me read) was also hungry and it was so weird coz it felt so real and then I realise I was actually hungry and my tummy was really grumbling. HEHE if thats a word.

With a late start to the day i couldnt really do much so i began doing some of my homework which is extremely boring. I think i suffer from getting bored really quickly and easily disease which I particularly don't like because I feel bad for the people who are occupying me and I'm bored. Gets ? ok well yeah. Right now I'm pretty bored too and I'm jst listening to music and sing along to it, which does help but every now and then I hear my dad saying Jasmine, are you crying? And I find that so insulting.

HMMMMMMMM. I wonder.

I think I should change my profile. It's getting outdated. HAHA . 5 days. But to me that is actually quite long but yes. Anyways have to continue on with my life.
Laters,..