19/20 is it ever good enough

i was just thinking to myself as per usual rather than doing someting productive, once again as per usual. back to  what i was saying, is what we do ever good enough. i mean why do we have such high standards of other people when sometimes even you can't live up to standards of other people and you complain endlessly of how unfair things are. i must admit, i do that. and i tell myself off countlessly because if there's one thing i don't like it's hypocrites and i am a hypocrite. though why can we never be good enough? is it because of something that we've done or do people simply dislike us to a point where you do anything to just make them leave you alone. i don't really know where i'm headed with this blog, but like life it's just going to keep going until something, or someone ends it. but that will be not now. i still want to continue. NOT BEING ON THE EFFING COMPUTER FOR 2 WHOLE DAYS HAVE BEEN HARD ON ME and i just gotta keep typing. otherwise i'm gonna eat someone.

there was something else on my mind which i just wanted to discuss but it's managed to escape me. sometimes i even manage to amaze myself with all the crazy jasmine things that i do. quite odd really.

it's time to let go. but that's not me. as in. i've already done that. it's your turn.

nothing lasts forever

my, my, that was the stimulus for english, but yes. nothing lasts forever and i think it's time that you let go of me too. i don't need to be your safety net anymore. you have another one now. plus you always have a backup anyway, though that sounds quite odd. but like i said, i dont need to be that safety net anymore but someone else is there so you can let go. trust me. and this way no one gets hurt. everyone is happy. i just want everyone to be happy so in the end i can get what i want. i'm sick of putting everyone in front of me (i dont always do that though, just in-a-way-metaphorically speaking) and i just want to be that person whom everyone wants to make sure is happy and satisfied and not have to worry about anything because people got it, they've handled it. but that can't happen and so my plan is to make everyone happy first and then because they're happy and no longer need to be any happier, they will realise i need to be happy too and treated the same way i have treated them, with love and care and with REALNESS. no fakeness no nothing that i dont want. i just want fairies and butterflies and rainbows.

WOWOWOWOOW !


i'm so out of it.
i need chocolate.
gawsh....



awww. damn it.
i miss you
talking to you endlessly
about anything
your jokes
my adventures
everything.
be there ...
for me.

Relax

I don't know where to begin. I seriously don't.

Sigh* I thought about it. Not really but after 5 minutes I still don't know where to begin. So I guess it would have to be the start. Right?

I woke up, like I usually do. It was freezing. I don't know why but lately I've been getting the chills so easily. I do wonder why this must be but that later. I did my hair. Interesting huh. No not really. It's just curls and it would have been the cause of me being late to the bus stop again but it's more important for me to look good than miss the bus. WOW I'm quite distracted. I totally forgot that I was writing a blog. How about I just say the following:

Jasmine is happy. Once again. She is scared that because she's been getting all these good and happy things lately that there will be a massive bad thing that wil occur soon or later in the future but something major will happen and she doesn't want it to.

Still like that person. Hey I can't help who I like. Uhm happy that I got SRC. Italian was good. I mean it wasn't how I planned it but I didn't actually plan it so yeah. And Sumeet and Anavi, you guys are so cute, but the things I heard, gosh you two. Apart from that I'm really happy and I'm scared something will happen. Like Mr. Beves said with Negative Gearing: High Gain, High Loss.

The holidays are here. I don't know why I'm leaving so much gaps in this blog. Maybe I'm just out of it. Probably. So many things planned. I don't know where to begin so I won't begin. I'll just wait for it to happen and be satisfied with that. Until then, laters.

Overall Summary

Work Experience Summary Last Day

fun: 10
boring: 0
people: 10
stress: 0
work: 0

OMG, i'm gonna miss them, like heaps. I didn't do anything today excet scan photos for my boss's wife's 40th Birthday. It was really fun actually. I was trying to work out how the scanners work (I knew I should have listened during IST) and yeah. For lunch I had a grilled chicken burger and it was soo good. My boss, he's like why do you get to eat that. That's it, I'm getting one too and so he buys one as well. Damn. They're really cool and nice people seriously. They swear, they laugh and they joke. They're real people. Anyways I gave them cards and they liked it and that made me even more happier. Awww, I'm just sad now because I know I'm gonna miss them all. So yeah. Work Experience for me was pretty good. (Y)

I went swimming today, that was good too.