Quick Realisation

I now now why no guy likes me.

It's because of my looks and poor personality. Well no shit, I don't think I've ever seen a guy like someone with this kind of traits and clearly both these variables affect a guys decision whether or not they'll like a girl.

I do question myself though. How do I find guys who are willing to let's use hook up with me but not be committed to be in a relationship with me. I mean, that's not the way I roll but I think it'd be better for me if I was in a stable relationship where I don't have these worries and have a guy who, well loves me for me.

Have I feelings for you, or is it just another infatuation which I need to get over because I need to know now and action must be taken before this turns into something, something unwanted. Just tell me what you feel for me or TALK TO me. I believe we haven't spoken since, well you know the last time we had a proper conversation. I don't understand though. You're the cool popular guy who isn't afraid and does these things. It's just killing me. I don't know what I did to deserve this silence between us.

NEED TO DO ENGLISH!

Never Again

A few days to my birthday, yet why do I feel like this.

So today I had a change of heart and like I feel much lighter on the inside now and I'm back to normal again, I suppose. I hope so anyway. It may be because of Austin but he's just I don't know. He's a real person, a person so far away that he may as well be a fantasy. It's quite sad that I am unfortunate enough to be unloved by people whom you think loved you but really, well they don't. It doesn't matter. I'm happy. My boys make me happy and I guess I can't really complain when I have something that makes me happy. I shouldnt be selfish and ask for too much and so there's a complete equilibrium in the world around us.

It's unfair that some people have so much negativity in their lives and it just seems that they have all the bad luck in the world. I know I may be sad at the stupidest things but I would be happy to share some of my happyness because I believe in equality between everyone no matter what race, gender, sexuality.

Sometimes I just think too much.



I LOVE YOU BOY :)
although you've made me spend so much money and time on you, it's all been worth it...now only if you were here right now...

Clumsy

I've been wanting a lot of things, this is not one of them.

She lets out a sigh of reliefe after finally returning to her home after the trauma she's been through. It simply hasn't been an easy time for her and now she feels relaxed and free from all the troubles.


Once again it's been a while since my last post and that's probably because I haven't had the chance to go on my computer, wait I'll say that again...Haven't been bothered to go on the computer and actually do computer stuff. I don't see the point of it unless I do homework which clearly I'm not going to be doing that anyway.

Things have changed. People have changed. I've changed.
Most of these changes have been good but with some things I just can't cope with it and it's somewhat unfair on me. I find a way to help myself but then I'm at fault for hurting others in doing so. Why can't I be selfish for once and just do and have what I want. I've been there whenever you needed me so just let me be me and do as I please. Is that too much to ask for.


FUN COUNT: 5 to this date.
booyeah!


Éxams are quickly approaching and I'm actually looking forward to it. The thought of being put amount great amounts of stress gives me an adrenalin rush which I just seem to love. That and sneaking out would be the two things that keep me feeling great. I'm just so awesome sometimes.


Once again, will blog whenever I can.

I'm such a liar.

It doesn't hurt to be optimistic. You can always cry later.

Basically, I said that I wouldnt blog anymore. It lasted for a while...then I realised how much I love blogging. I don't care that no one reads it. It just makes me feel better. Plus I have a whole lot of shit that I just want to get out of my system and like yeah. So hello and hope you do like my new and non improved entries.

I never expected it to happen this way. I guess it's too late now. At least I have you now, and no matter what you do I'm never going to forget you...

I played baseball like a few weeks back and sucks cause the first time I played it I got to second base, then thrid base then I got out.
The second time, I got to second base, then third base again which sucked, again.
It was all good fun. Then last week, on Thursday I finally got to Home Base and dayum it felt so good getting there. Well I got to first base too but like yeah. Just can't stop thinking bout it.

REMEMBER THE 8th OF APRIL.

The holidays are nearly over, and they didnt exactly go to plan. And I've managed to make myself think that someone hates me or dislikes me, but yeah I don't know about that yet. Plus I don't wanna find out anyway, because I really just hate talking about these kind of things. So yeah, at least I went to Luna Park. That was gooood fun.

I failed ENGLISH, like literally, to the max, to the depth of the world and I'm going crazy because I have not started that essay which is due in less than a week. I've kinda tried to start it but I just don't get it and understand it and I don't know. I am not looking forward to school because of English. The only thing I am looking forward to is the fact that I get to have my life back and maybe because of TAFE, that's pretty fun. Meet new people through those lovely kids. But yeah school, not so much.

I just want to go back to the eight of the fourth.

It wasn't long enough and time just went by too quickly.

It's not fair.

Stupid hormones.

Until next time.

400th post.

vale. por lo que casi han pasado dos semanas y se podría pensar que por ahora me han trasladado, pero no. Te amo, todavía. Sí le dije amor. porque lo hago y no importa lo que hago (bueno y malo) No puedo olvidar que usted o lo que teníamos en el pasado y así es como me causa locos no saben qué hacer. Sé que hice mal por usted, pero me gustaría que hubiera durado más tiempo. Ah cállate.


taken from jasmines blog:



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still

I'm at that point in my life where I just ask myself how stupid can you really be? Truthfully nothing is wrong with my life yet I manage to make problems which i don't really need and waste my time on useless things when I can be doing more efficient stuff. although it won't really make a difference cause it's me but whatever.

I still miss you.
you can't do anything about that.
whenever I do something I think about you and how guilty I feel because it's not you I'm doing it with but well just not you and it upsets me but I'm trying hard ok and I'm sorry.

I did love you.
I think I still do.

it may seem like I don't care but hey I do ok. I just show it differently and I still have concern because you're all close to me and the fact that I don't show it doesn't meant that I don't care. I worry. just what difference does it make if I make a comment on it. it's not like I can fix the problem. just know that in case you didn't already know

some people are just so annoying.
and others are just pure evil.

we move on...


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WAN CAR

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!


FUCKING GET OVER IT ALL YOU FUCKING PUSSY. AND STOP FUCKING CRYING OVER IT AND FUCKING WASTING YOUR FUCKING USELESS AND HOPELESS LIFE YOU FUCKING LOSER. FUCK.




I'm so going to get reported for the abuse of this blog. oh well. I got to say what i wanted.


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gosh

IT'S OVER

that's all.


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stupid or what

it's so hot right now and like i really don't feel like doing anything but lie down and sleep or play with this or something that doesn't involve some kind of activity which will force me to sweat. that's like eww.

today wa school photos. I hope i looked good. I felt good. so yeah apart from the stupid heat D:

btw Katrina you are amazing. HILARITY that's just lurk genius. anyways yeah stfu about everything else and you know what I mean.

uhm oh damn. there's like this really cute guy that catches my bus. not from out school obviously cause then i wouldn't be posting it on here. he also has a little brother (how do I know cause he looks exactly the same cept smaller) and he's soooo cute too. but most probably too you. hahaha but I'm not gonna go for him. duh. I'm just saying lols.

I have this rose lying beside me. I can't decide whether I should bash it against the wall or not. I really want to but it's too pretty.

VALENTINES DAY
urgh.


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Truck

gosh Alvin, why'd you make me listen to that song.

I don't get it. Why would you hurt someone when you love them. Eh whatever. I've recently been told that I'm loved but the one person who I really, well I think I just clikc with that person so much but I don't know, things change, stuff happen and maybe one day we coulds be together forever. Haha, I'm a but out of it. And on top of that I sound funny right now because I have a cold. I wonder what caused that to happen. Only three things can and it obviously wasn't the weather, and I wasn't with anyone who was sick so that leaves the last reason which I shall keep to oneself.

Tomorrow is Thursday. Also the day my educational centre is celebrating Valentine's Day. One word, stupid. Expand on it later but there's nothing really much to expand on. Watching the movie Valentine's Day might explain haha.

I love people, no I actualyl dislike them. A lot.

Think Girl

I don't understand why...I don't understanding anything in this whole universe. Someone explain to me why we have to find out everything and be curious and study every little shit that we discosver because it might lead to something else, then what, when we discover that it's like more studying and researching into some other thing and it just goes around and around until well people move on with their life. I don't see why people couldn't have just lived with their life but I guess that would be boring.

"it's like more studying"

I've been a little bit over my head recently, I think I know why, or I hope I do. I mean why else would I be like this, pretty suddenly too. And on top of that I really don't wanna talk about it so who cares. Just one thing, I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to wake you up. Who would've thought that something like that can wake someone up. It's never woken me up before. Sorry.


and check this out: http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1265715322398RA59

LOL

i just found them funny























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NEARLY

it's nearly a year since I first began this blog. quite odd seeing as it doesn't seem that long ago. anyways I already had something else ready but like I forgot what I wanted to say originally. now I'm just happy and I want to make this a nice post but that's not gonna happen so yeah. I'll just have to make it perfect. hehe






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When I say SCREW, I mean YOU

That title was mean to copy my lovely friend's one just to iritate her more but I don't think I got the right words and I'm just too lazy to check it now. oh baby I Love You. 

Once again the weekend is over and start of another school week. And as I was lying down during my boredomness times and I thought to myself the first two days of school were horrid, imagine the next 5. DAYUM. So yes, I'm not really looking forward to this, thing that we call school because I know what I'd rather be doing and who with. AHHAHHAHAH. That's a joke. Not. Or maybe it is.


Ah get over yourself.


Me llamo...hahhaah
me llamo jasmine :D

iPhone Translator

من عاشق دوست پسرم Álex

so school started. and everything outside my school life just got fudged up. new people came, new obstacles appeared. at times Im glad that he's there but was he really there. I don't think he's trying hard enough and this is getting really hard. like it just doesn't seem like it's working and well it upsets me. 

how do I break someones heart when I like them...a lot. this is hard. why can't he do it. I could live with that pain but I don't think doing it to someone else will be something I'll be capable of doing. it doesn't seem right or fair. 

aargh.

Jasmine

That's my name.

--------------------------------------------------------

Throughout these holidays I can't really say I've been very productive especially that they're my last months of freedom before I have to maintain my focus on my studies. Nor can I say that they were the best and that I've had the most fun. Sad to say that I haven't been happy throughout it except during some moments with very special people but I can truly say that I am thankful for these holidays and what it has brought to me.


You know how sometimes people wonder, What goes on in her head? Well I can tell you it's not a lot. Ever since you came along my life seems so dull unless you're in it. And I can't believe you listen to what I say. Most of the time anyway. Plus after what I did to you, it just doesnt seem fair on you but I'm glad that I still have you. You take my breath away, in many more ways that one. haha But seriously I don't think you understand how much I want you. And if you did well you'd be happy? I suppose. haha Whatever, mahal kita and you can't do anything about it. Laugh out loud.


I want to run away-
I think that's the solution to everyone's problems. I wouldn't disappoint anyone and I cant eff anyone or anything up. Plus a lot of people would be much happier. I could run away to another country, if you know what I mean. Maybe watch the Winter Olympic Games haha. Too bad it's on the other side of the tower that I wanna see. Again if you know what I mean. Fudge what is wrong with me. My humour standards have sunk to an All Time Low. Oh my effing gosh. That was just dry.


Goodbye my friends.
My enemy has come to get me. School we meet once again. Whatever you have for me this upcoming year just bring it because I'm ready for you and whatever you plan to use against me to take me down.


Adios y te amo.

go away

WTF are you doing? are you trying to split me and him up. we're barely
making it and you keep fn talkin to me. I told you already stop it I
DONT like you so why don't you just go to your girlfriend and talk to
her friken he's gonna get angry at me again and it'll be all your
fault. far out just go away.

laugh out loud

Well my day has barely started, like now it has but before it did. I sound so stupid. Anyways my family went to the beach and I wanted to stay home because firstly it's Saturday and all I'd be thinking about is damn it. So he called me and I just can't stop thinking about. We were on the phone talking about what we usually talk about, if you know what I mean, and then I get put on hold and he comes back and he's like 'sorry it was my sister, she was knocking on my door'. Ok, so you may not find it funny but you don't know what we were talking about and if you did then you'd be LOL-ing too. Aww shucks. Love that guy. He's so special. Hehe. But I still don't understand why me. And why he chose me. Oh well, I just feel so lucky.

------------------------------------------------------------

loveyou.

password

I feel so insecure.
So he still wants me. But after what I'd done why? This guy must seriously be crazy because who would want a person after they had done what I did. Unless that person was being used. But then again I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal especially that we're not really official official. If we was then maybe I'd understand. I don't know. it makes me cry and laugh but who knows. right now all I'll say is whatevs!

i remember that time when i said i was gonna never blog on this again.

what a lie that was.

throw it away

yr so annoying. i dnt like you. dnt u get it. y can't u leave me alone. I already like someone else so stop fn waiting for me because even if i ddnt have the someone anymore I'm not gna go running to you. just leave me alone. I would tell you this to yr far but I'm just scared of hurting yr feelings. but my goodness seriously go away.

still hopeless 

and a biatch

and major one

trust me

pink egg

I don't know there's just something bout this egg picture that I truly like.. it makes me smile. doesn't it make you smile? probably does... now that I've pointed it out. bwahahah.

quite stupid

I really am the worst girlfriend ever !
I made the guy cry.
in a way it's funny but truly it isn't cause my eyes hurt :/
fudge !
yeah single is good ...

it's just not working

ok it's been a little over a week and I'm getting quite sick of it. I'm pretty sure it's over so it might as well be. so I liked you but we just weren't meant to be. sorry.
and you, you're just a kid why the heck do you like me so much. I don't like you. I just don't want to tell you cause you'll probably have a cry but my goodness leave me alone.
and for everyone else unless you're mean and 21 and live in melbourne leave me alone. gosh.
that's the story of my holidays. can't wait for school. I can but yeah.
goodbye.

naughty

I'm probably the worst girlfriend in history. ok so maybe not but I think the distance between the two of us just makes things very hard plus the fact that he's always sleeping when I'm awake and he's awake when I'm sleeping. but I'm quite sure that we both try our best. well I sure do because I don't want tow lose him, he's special tow me And he makes me smile and he makes me happy. on top of that he's officially the longest relationship I've ever had. but I find that he's amazing. the things that upsets me the most is the fact that my so called friends are quick to judge me on the fact of who he is where he's from and how we me and urghthats just annoying. have your opinion just don't tell me. I'm actually happy for once and you go ruin it by telling me how much of a loser it seems etc. don't you think I know all that. don't you think I thought about all thAt before I went into this. I knew that people would judge me too just not my friends. I thought
they'd be more understanding and for once be happy that I got something good, that someone actually likes me genuinely and not me liking some guy who's gonna reject me and make me all depressed. far out.
whatever I'm happy. if you're not happy with my decision then stay the heck away from me because this is what I want and you have no right to tell me anything.

--------------
when school starts my whole world will turn upside down :(

aargh

I have a boyfriend !
why does he like me so much?!
and so much for a good friend
you know what fuck you!

level 100000000

shucks I never knew that it'd be this hard. I knew that it'd be a bit hard but because I'm on vacation it's like yeah it'll be all good but it doesn't work when only one half is trying or am I just trying too hard. or maybe I'm just wanting too much expecting more. I feel so stupid now and SAD as in the loser sad and not the emotion sad. like if you think about it it's like really? seriously? WTF?! that's like not right, not one bit. I am way over my head and need to take things slowly but I just can't help it. i wasn't forced into anything I was asked and things were checked but I really don't know. why am I so impulsive like this was never the plan yet somehow this happened and well now I really am not sure. the thing is this is what happened last time and maybe I should just not think about it so much and well if I did that then hopefully it just might last longer do you get what I mean? it just doesn't seem right for something to be over when it's
barely just started so that's it I'm just gonna try not worry about it then maybe I won't be so like this.
apart from this I really have nothing in my head. it's like taken over me completely but it just makes me so happy and I really don't want to forget everything. hehe. I miss you already. I really truly do and well I just want to talk to you right now because nothing else seem to matter to me without you here and I kinda feel stupid saying that because I know that you can't be here but still. I just want you here with me, beside me, in your arms... bahahahhahahaha that's hilarious !

hun

you are perfect in my eyes and I don know whether or not I should be believing the things you tell me or maybe I'm just blinded by the fact that someone, a real person is actually saying those things to me. I'm
quite grateful for you and you do make me happy, you presence, thinking about you makes me happy and you super hot voice, baby it's just so good. you make smile no matter what and I can't believe it's
been what a few days yet somehow you've grown so close to me it's quite unbelievable. ok so maybe I'm going over my head but this is what you've done to me and this is what I was afraid of. I was afraid
of falling for you and the things that come with liking someone. the sleepless nights and always wanting you around me. that's going to be so hard to. I just want to be in bed with you with your arms wrapped
around me keeping me warm from the cold weather (where you live of course not here, so hot here that I'll probably push you off the bed hahas) but you truly are amazing. I also can't believe that you'd
waste your credit (if you used ur cellphone that is) just to call me and hear my voice. I swear you are the only one who likes it and I would say the only one who doesn't make fun of it and mock me but you
did it yesterday so pfft.



I'm glad you exist :)


just, don't hurt me...

shuck !

I think he actually does like me, genuinely and he means everything he says... I mean I like him too but would it work? would I be able to keep my word?
jasmine and kattt check ur emails I have sent u email. lol yeah the reminder is really for Katrina cz I know she doesn't check her emails u lazy ass.
miss you both tho :)

now pout !

so today i went shopping and it was ok, I was more excited with getting my picture taken and the fact that I'm buying an Optus sim card so that I can text my friend and call him for free. But whateva.
uh I don't know what's wrong with me, I want to talk to my baby and everytime I do it just seems like he's busy even for me which I don't mind and when he does speak to me I'm not there and can't reply so he can't talk to me either. I really like him and well I don't know, plus he's hot I'll never get a hot guy to ever like me or think I'm hot and cute. plus something is wrong with me, I've had like 5 moments where I just wanted to burst into tears and it's all been because of them even though it's not my fault. it's not even my fault and I really don't know what's wrong with me. plus now I'm really tired and it's still very early. gosh!

waiting yet again

it sucks the holidays are over for everyone else, my friend is going back to uni/work and so no more talking day and night. it also sucks that my baby lives on the other side of the world and i don't know if he's real or if he's just bullshitting me becAuse I know real life people, "friends" who use me and that's so f*cked up. but I really do just want to talk to him. it really makes me wonder though why a hot looking model that's older go for a fat looking kid who doesn't even have a good personality. sometimes these people cry because it seems like they're all playing with me and lying to me just to get what they want. I don't know, I'm uber careful though but it's not that that I'm worried about. it's my ego and my confidence I don't want it shattered by people i don't even know.

damn, baby just come online already. I'm sorry I wasn't on the other day...

:(

Jasmine.

__________________________________________________________________________________
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phoaw

I think jasmine likes older young men.
interesting....

more about it later, heheh
I have a new awesome buddy
too bad he calls me bitch all the time
but I love it hehe

Jasmine.

__________________________________________________________________________________
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2010

first blog for the new year and well nothing. haven't really done anything exciting but ooh I had fun on New Year's Eve cause like we went swimming twice, once in the afternoon then again at night. then jaisen had V and we decided to drink it and so we were at the front full of energy taking pictures. Alyssa being so antisocial charry looking like she had a bit too much and sunshine complaining about every single thing we did and the fact that we left her out. damn it was good fun.

other things are, more people know about my uh let's call it hobby. quite weird but yeah doesn't matter cause like it's my problem and they shouldn't have asked me if it's that bad which trust me I doubt that it's that bad like it's something I would do of course. ahahahah.

two days since I've talked to my baby. actually I haven't talked to him since last year. awww that sucks oh well I hope he's partying like crazy and finally lost his uh well I still have mine but I hope he doesn't so that he doesn't have to wait for me or whatever his plans were. LOL

anywhome that's all think I might just play some games now.

Jasmine.

__________________________________________________________________________________
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