stupid stupid stupid

jasmine you are a fool;

today began with that gloomy weather which i really dislike. and everyone waking up late to the sounds of me screaming because hello, it WAS late. I managed to do everything i needed to do to get ready for school and other stuff even my wide reading was half completed.

assembly was cancelled which was pretty good because, no one likes it and it's extremely boring. actually i cannot be bothered going into detail with this so i will go to my main point. during italian i poured water over sukhman's head because he was teasing me and i wasn't in the mood and now i regret it and really pissed at myself and i don't deserve this school or this country.

and next period was pe and we had to do the beep test, i was actually up for it, but seeing as my previous period was ruined i no longer felt that same that i wanted therefore wasnt pump and just wasnt up to it. Sumeet made me run with him but i denied it, two reasons; 1 i would obviously be the first to pull out coz theyre all runners and 2 because im not good enough to run with him or anybody else. So i ran without him and next to jasmine instead. did quite poorly especially since i have been improving with other things lately and managed to only do 6.5 which is very shameful for me.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHH! I'm just really angry right now and pissed of at myself, i wanna cry but i can't and I don't know why i'm like this. It's not like i want to be like this but sometimes it just get out of hand and, why would anyone want to be my friend. My whole life and everyone else would be so much easer if they'd just ignored me and never became friends with me.

......... crying, ..............................


the worst part is, because of me not focusing on the right things i can't even do my work properly and i'm failing, failing everything and i do try in most subjects but i lack focus and therefore can't do anything. just get over it ! and leave me alone

................................................................................. crying,.....

i'm being open to my thougths, right now that's all i CAN do................

jasmine is a fake idiot that people like but shouldn't like.