jas + mine

"SLEEPY"

I feel so good right now. I don't know why. Actually good and sleepy, Yes that's my word of the day. I woke up late again, but at least today I didn't nearly miss the bus. And it was Hip-Your-Uniform day and like of course i hipped my uniform cause what else was i meant to do. And my hair I did that too, and I realised that my hair has streaks in it, its not like obvious obvious but it does have it and hehe, i like my hair. I've done commerce so i'm not so busy right now. If only i could finish english today then maybe I could do other things and not have to be so stressed with all these other things, but yeah. Today was good, we had that history thing and it was funny, like part of its and some parts of it were real sad, and like the people are heaps good actors. Too bad i'm not like that. Then maybe I could act my way through high school. :P Uhm, yeah and in IST it was so random siting next to Geeth but like whatever. Today was good. If only that one thing hadn't ruined it. Stupid, uhm, wat was the reason again. Oh yeah, it happened a couple of times during the history show and twice during maths. FAR OUT. If only i was invisible. Actually that wouldn't make so much difference. HEHE. I was also told I have big calves, To me that's not a compliment but whatever right ? Anything else. Uhm can't think of any at the moment. Tomorrow is mufti and it's pick a decade day thing, so i'm just planning to wear some random thing because I can't be bothered dressing up for it, Like seriously you have a 1 in 500 of winning the prize plus it's onlly a $50 voucher. so who cares. Especially when I can take advantage of this day by making myself look good and actually take my time in doing so, so it doens't look like i'm some schoolgirl who doesn't know how to get herself ready for school.

Well that's a lot written today but it's so crap cause it's not in any sort of order, which is quite shocing for me because I would usually do things in the right order at least. So yeah.

laters,..
;]

JASMINE's DESCRIPTION WORD OF THE DAY

"ACCOMPLISHED"

description word of the day, which i forgot to post in the previous blog, my bad.
laters,...
;]

well done

i accomplished many things today
it feels good
:D


though i cant run at the moment because of my knee
and i dont want to it to get worse
so im giving it a break
but next week, bring it on

laters,..
;]

JASMINE :D

okay, basically, I need a new life.
nothing's wrong with my current one
but I think i stuffed it up.

I know I have another chance because no one is saying I can't therefore I'm going to try and use this opportunity to make good use of it. I will begin by exercising a lot more. And far out, I have so much adrenalin right now that while dad was using the computer I went outside to shoot some hoops 9pm at night. Then i get told to go inside and he says it's to noisy. And so I went to play FOOSEBALL with alyssa then he complains again and I'm just like WTF man. But yeah. Swiming was really fun this morning. I actually did like it, and I want LISA as my instructor, she's so nice and nicee... And yeah. then went to kuya bon's house and ate food and realised ooh i'm sleepy so i decided to walk home with Alyssa, I got home. I lay in bed. Then I feel asleep. HAHA. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Anyways I'm really bored and right now I feel like going for a run but the fact that it's 11 pm at night and my knees are so fragile at the moment I can't. So I'm just doing commerce and hoorah. I've done so much today. I feel so good. Refreshed.

Actually each day, I will use one word. One word, to describe how I currently feel. And todays it's:

REFRESHED

;]

great

im on the computer 7.51 in the morning getting in the morning.
Im such an idiot.
Im gonna be late.

..........................................

;]

giggles

i feel healthy today, more enthusiastic and happy about life and for once actually just me. That's a good thing. I'm not going to go on about my day. Here are the highlights though:

• JAP VISIT
• Ivy sneaking in the Jap Visit group
• enjoying italian :P
• PE; standing there and losing weight.
• having a splash @ lunch time with the classic human water fountain.
• and me uber bored in science (which ain't really a highight) and falling asleep

As you can see, it seem's like a normal day and did enjoy myself. I came home and shot some heaps and got pissed because I couldn't get any at one point then another I'd get them in. So more practise I guess. And OMG, it's so tiring like, i didn't expect it to be like that but whew, its so tiring. HAHA. SO yeah. Anything else. Oh yeah, I was going to collaborate song lyrics that I liked and make them into one thing that is suppose to be nice and since I can't be bothered to do commerce I will do it.

"You're so beautiful, beautiful
beautiful, beautiful

I dedicate, this song to you,
this song to you
I dedicate, this song to
you,
this song to you

There’s nothing else I can say
I wish you never looked at me that
way
There’s nothing else I can say

When I First Met You
And There's Nothing That Can Break Us Apart
In Two'cause
All I See Is You"

HEHE, well as you can probably see I AM EXTREEMEMEELY bored, but shall stop this wasting of time and do some of my work, or read. hmmm.
yeah, I think I'll just continue wasting time. It's so much more fun.

Laters,..
;]

extremely bored

right now i'm really bored. and im not sure what i should do. here are my options:

• cry
• commerce
• english
• read
• sleep

but really. all i feel like is to cry. not because of anything now and no one has hurt me. Well no one but me. I don't know why i always do this. I think about the past and all the things which had occured, good and bad. And i think to myself, why can't think be like that now? Or why did that have to happen. Maybe I'm just keeping to much to myself at the moment. But i'm pretty sure i'm being open with all the things i say. It's not like all these things in the past have been holding me back from moving on. Or maybe i'm just thinking too much and that I should stop wasting my time and think about my future. But then I think again, and I'm just like OH SHIT ! Two years from now I'll be in year 12. why did time move so fast. A couple of years ago I was just a year seven and very noobish. More than I am now. Eager to learn and very curios with everything around her. Now, I've given up. Rebelled against some and others, forgotten. My life. I like it. I'm just hoping that I don't have to think and that I should just do. Do and no regrets. But then again. Ive done heaps of those things too. I feel like listing them so:

1. dye my hair, which actually does look nice
2. cut my hair, again it actually does look nice
3. pretend to be someone else and act like i'm ok. it's helped me cope i guess, and it's not like anyone has noticed. well not until they've read this.
4. things which can't be mentioned cause theyre rated R.
5. and hurting myself, emotionally. it doesnt really hurt, thats why i dont regre it, at all.

So yeah. I could think of many things which have happened to me; good and bad. I could name a lot just from today. But moving on from this. It's just so hard. I don't know what to expect. Maybe that's why people live their life as a game. They never know what to expect, and they never know what's going to happen to them, yet they still live it to the max. But I feel like I'm part of a domino line. Just like everyone else, and falls with everyone else, and doesn't know how to differ herself from everyone else except exclude herself from everyone and hide things...

On a positive note, today was better than i expected it to be. I had my history in class essay. Which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and I managed to write more than I'd expected. I really just want to do better. Do the best I possibly can. But i've been holding things off. Ive been distracted. I shouldn't let things like that happen to me. I should be strong. *sigh. But i know, no matter what I do, i'm going to forget and fail, fail it all. Back to the positive note. Basketball was pretty fun. I didn't expect it to be as it was but it was fun. And walking to the station with Alyssa and the guys was so random. Fine but random and very, well let's just say it wasn't appropriate, especially that Alyssa was there. And somehow i still make a fool of myself when I was getting off the train and walking backwards up the stairs (not a good idea), didn't realise there was a step there and fell on my bottom right in front of everyone, where they could all see and laugh at me. Oh well. At least I can still make people happy, I haven't lost that ability yet. And when i do. That's when I should reconsider my life and do something with it. For now I'm good.

See I can end things on a positive note, which I guess is a good thing because I need to sleep happy and not crying. But now that I think about it i stil feel like crying. Again it's no ones fault. I really just do miss Philippines. I mean, I had a life there once too. And you can't expect me to just move on from it. I thought I had, but seeing them and talking to them, reminds me of the good 'ol times. Times when I was happy and nothing to worry about, times when I didn't have to try so hard speaing tagalog and everyone could understand me when I spoke in English, times when i fitted in easily, without trying so hard. Times when I was Jasmine,and just Jasmine with no one else to think about and none of this complaining being done...

I've done a lot today. My time was slower. 9.48. DAYUM. Hmm, it's ok I guess. I'm not gonna complain about this. I've done too much already.

Laters,..
;]

DEDICATION

I dedicate, this song to you, this song to you
I dedicate, this song to you, this song to you

This song is for the one i love, one i love, one I love
The one I’m always thinking of, thinking of, thinking of
I’d do anything for you,
Girl I adore you
This song for you,
This song for you,
This song to you,
This song to you

Today's blog will be dedicated to people going to Duke of Ed, but mainly my gay partner Sumeet. And yeah. I don't actually know what to write in these things. Oh and that song i only quoted that cause it says DEDICATE, Laugh Out Loud. Such a loser.

Anyways all im going to say is takecare mate and come back alive, otherwise i wont have anyone to have gay sex with and touching me. LOL, and btw that is an IN-JOKE.. geez people.

I'm bored, as always.
;]

poo

jasmine,
no need to worry, it's all for the best and you know that you wanted to happen this anyways so there's nothing you can do about it and just be happy. Even though you know that what you really feel is hurt and gayness. Far out, why do I have to be like this. Maybe a little cry in the corner might help me. Actually all I can say is Oh Well, oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well, oh well and OH SHIT ! I jsut remember something but *sigh, it's not my life, so i don't have any say.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

I hope my run will help me with my mood. Although I thought I was in a good mood. HAHA, mood swings, jasmine is such a weirdo like seriously. Maybe if i just think about the pain of the needle then maybe that would hurt more than what I feel right now. But it doesn't hurt, not as much as this...

off to run, hope at least that will make me feel better.
I feel like crying.
nope, im crying.
gay shit.
im gay shit.
oh great.
must run, now.
away from all of this.
I NEED A BREAK FROM EVERYONE, AWAY FROM IT ALL !

;[

lazy bum

i can't be bothered to explain my day
but what i wrote before
was obviously about me.
LOL
i wouldnt write that about anyone else
not publicly anyway.

;]

the truth

about my day later.
just have to get this out.

I HATE YOU JASMINE:
you're such a bitch.
explain this later.
seriously,
dont take to heart.
you proly just get it all wrong.
;]

kiama

At 5.30 am in the morning...
i was told to get up and ready to leave the house because they're kicking me out of the house because of what I had done the other day. Well actually that's a complete lie because that's not what really happened. We were off to go to Kiama down South Coast and do some fun stuff such as fishing, swimming, and play cards. Laugh Out Loud! But like, first we would have to have a 2 hour drive sitting in the cour doing nothing but listen to music, sleep and eat and listen to Sunshine being annoyingly annoying.

We arrived there the first thing I did was go for a run. Everyone else was just like WTF?! But yeah, who cares what they say because I shouldn't so yeah. Afterwards I got tired then we looked around. It was very rocky there, but with my awesome filo climbing skills I was very good at it and didn't fall down once or hurt myself. There wasn't really much to do if you weren't interested in fishing but me and my friend decided that we would explore. Actually a picture says more words, so just look at the pictures. AHAHAH! I took so many. With me and Alyssa trying to be pro photographers and we both FAIL ! LOL

"Sunshine, don't go near the edge, you might fall off...
Yeah, we don't want to lose our lunch. :) "

Apart from that we also played cards, with money and haha, mum gave me some money and she kept losing, luckily I would win the money back for her. It was really fun, because I was HALF owning them all, them old women. Kidding ! But yeah. We went to the blowhole sight and it didn't even blow once which was kinda a disappointment, but like whatever I still had fun. Then when we were about to leave we were waiting so long for then we realised that they were in the rockpools so of we went there. But then I kinda felt left out when they all went swimming because I couldn't go swim for non-very special reasons that I don't want to go into. But me being so me wanted to go in so badly that I got a bodyboard and tried to float on it and failed at the instant I tried to go on it. So yeah, that ended my day. I got washed and then soon they came then we had to go home. My day has been fun, away from homework, stress and other things which have been causing me trouble and making me all confused but it helped me clear my mind and also think things through. *Sigh. It's nice.

I ate so much food today that I think Sumeet might kill me because I'm suppose to be following a nutrition plan. Although, I had a good reason to be hungry. Everywhere in Kiama all you do is walk and climb and it's so tiring. I could actually feel my thighs burning from climbing up the rocks which would usually take me a couple of laps of running. But yeah. I'm dead! Actually, no. I'm just going to be called fatty now, even more so than before.

As you can see I enjoyed my day and had fun. I love today: March 22 2009.

laters,..
;]

isn't she lovely?

i've deserved everything i've ever received, good or bad...


dude, like today. I felt good. Woke up late, hehe, because did not have to go swimming for very special reasons. As i woke up and looked at myself in the mirror. Ew. My hair was messy. But then again, I didn't expect it to be the world's best hairdo either, especially right after I had just woken up. I ate my breakfast which was leftovers from the other night and it was nice. And with no one annoying me I was able to enjoy it. While I was eating my mum was sitting on the chair watching TV and so i decided to join her. I realised that it was actually the Muppets, Wizard of Oz. It was funny and very random. And there was this part where the little chicken thing touched the robot and he was like, ooh what's this? then the robot replies, that's my nipples. HAHA. funny shit. After that I'd lost interest and decided that I should start my work. And I did. I've done two of my three wide reading, which is quite an accomplishment and apart from that, I've also done more of commerce, history and something else which I can't seem to remember.

my today, apart from those things hasn't actually been that exciting but it's been a good break. And I'm happy. I have been the whole day and it's something which lately has been rare for me, because of my very mood swings which sometimes scares me because it keeps changing and so fort. I ate chocolate today. It was nice. HEHE, random much ? Ooh, i played computer games. I'm such a kid, man. I still play kiddie games but oh well at least they are fun. Laugh Out Loud.

And to add to that, I wasn't being lazy and bummy cause I did go for a run. Although my time was slower than my previous time oh well. Here they are:

Time Today: 8.56
Previous Time: 8.51
Personal Best: 8.51

As you can see that's actually worse, but at least my first lap was a new lap record standing at 4.09, I think that maybe that's why i was so slow in the second one, used up energy in the first one. But yeah, must improve and will improve :D

Apart from that I have no lifeeeee but luckily tomorrow I do, cause I'm off to Kiama and no work for the whole day. That's why i've been trying to do everything today. But i fail at that. HEHE

So laters and yeah. Byeeee.

;]

ooh

i thought today would be a great day to have a very detailed blog
but then like, now, i have no time. so yeah
heres today:

today was a good day actually
here are just some points
...
i got insulted by sukhman in commerce about me eating on the job and stuff like that but the thing is i didn't realise until italian which was second period.
and at lunch time got owned by steph in chess. LOL. but whatever. I was screwed no matter what.
thats all
;]

lifeless

today i curled my hair
and you can see the colour
apart from that i would have to say
that today was uneventful
except in history when ramnik
drew random lame things
it was funny.
LOL

;]

letter

DEVESH,


JASMINE IS HAPPY !
(:

and for anyone else who thinks i'm sad all the time


later lovelies,..

note

When I see you

I run out of words

to say

I wouldnt leave you

'Cause your that type of girl

To make mistakes

I wanna get with you

You're so beautiful

So damn beautiful

--------------------------------------------------

actually, i think i am over him
if i can keep myself at distance far enough
not to see him or make any contact with him
and what's the talking one?
well the talking one.
then maybe it is possible.

so. OVER HIM.
but not 100%
yet.
but am.



later lovelies,..

with sister.

I wonder everyday, when and how. But I know I'll never have the courage to. I just wished that I could push everyone away and I'd have no feeling of hurt and pain...

Why can't you leave me alone
and let me live my life
without the pain that
you are bringing upon me.

Today I didn't feel as lively as I was yesterday. Not that I was lively yesterday, but at least I could show SOME enthusiasm. To summarise up today:

Roll call was quick, probably because it was Wednesday.

First period was maths and it was quite random because half way through the lesson the teacher talks about his son but the whole point of the story was about his daughter-in-law and how she's a real good musician (btw look her up on youtube: Jess Chalker) and that she's performing with all these famous people.

Recess, bought another friggin muffin. Fudge imma get so fat again :( But i just can't help it. And the worst thing is no one will admit it to me that I am in fact really fat. Stupid, gay people.

Secons period was commerce and it was so boring. I would have fallen asleep but I really wasn't in the mood to get in trouble at that moment. And we have homework. Shoot.

During lunch I played basketball with Jasmine, Devesh, Pavan, Siddarth and this year 9 guy who left when we were about to start the game. It was pretty fun I fail, cause I suck. Didn't even get one shot in which is shameful for me because my dad is good and all that and i'm just this failure kid. Laugh Out Loud !

Sport yey, it was really fun. Well for like the first couple of minutes or saw. Then the excitement just died and I gave up. Couldn't even pretend to laugh from the gayness of it and the lack of effort people had put and my sleepyness. At least being the captain of the team, I was a major fail. I still managed to get some shots in, which i pretty much thought was a fluke because thos shots I didn't expect to get in. Yada, yada. Sport finished. I really wanted to go home, OH and HIMMAT, he slapped me! Well i did ask for it. HAHA. Me is loser.

After school had to go officeworks, was with sister. It wasn't that bad. Had a small fight then resolved it by buying Subway cookies. Then on the train Himmat, Shirine etc. was there so it wasn't that bad.

Arrived home. Decided ooh, I want to dye my hair again. So I did. Man this better be more obvious than the other one. It cost me $10.95 man. And I just got money from dad.

I fail. Cause I'm a failure. No doubt about that.

later lovelies,..

my bad

basically the previous post was a lie.
better own up to it now
but whatever man,
i did try ok.




later lovelies,..

NEWS

major news.

ok theres good news and bad news.
but whatever
no one cares
which is also a good thing

good news:
i no longer like him. amazing huh. It took me the whole day to think it through. That's why I was quiet for the first half/morning of the day. I was thinking hard. And I figured out that it might just be a waste of my time and it's not like he could have done anything for me anyways. And also looking at his bad traits helped me with that decision.

bad news:
the bad thing is, i like someone else! I know, it sucks. That really is the only way get over someone. But whatever. I hardly know this person which is a good thing, because now I know not to get any closer to them and I hardly see them, which is also a good thing. So getting over this guy would be so much easier.

Far out, I make my life so complicated. But here's how my day was.

This morning I woke up earlier than usual thinking whether or not I would go for a walk. Scrap that idea. Stayed in bed, then i realised I had to make myself breakfast because I forgot to tell mum to cook it. Oatmeal; delish. At school we arrived late because of the traffic on the highway but it was only roll call when we did get there so it didn't make much difference. First period was Italian. I didn't really do much. Just sat there thinking. But me being "sad" (according to Ivy, because my normal is actually HIGH) was worth it in the end. Even during recess I maintained my sad mood. During English, I continued with my sadness whilst everyone was watching Shrek. In third period, was kinda pumped, for the running. I think I'm crazy but whatever. My time, was pretty good mainly because I can't say it's bad. But I COULD HAVE done better, oh well. There's always next time. Sprint; it was slow. Again, oh, well. Theres always next time.

At lunch, I'd lost that sadness mood and went back to my normal self and even managed to NEARLY wet Sumeet as he walked passed. HAHA, that guy. Tried to hi-5 me again. Laugh Out Loud! But yeah. Science didn't last long. People just talking about their wide reading. And me, mine was about hamsters wearing jackets with nanowires to produce electricity for an iPod. Hmmmmm. Interesting ? Halfway through, we had Peer Support which was quite boring because we didn't do anything much.

Basically the main point of this blog, was just to say I'm over him. Phew.
later loveliess,..

go away

it changed,
no longer in that happy sense of happyness
yet i don't know
why?

i'll keep waiting...

jasmine is happy

hello lovelies.
today was AWESUM and i was and still am really happy. I'm hoping that no one ruins this for me because yeah. Anyways, i woke up thinking this day would be oh so gay, because I went to sleep 2am at night/morning wateva it is because i was talking to tita sheila via Skype. Lol, OMG man she's so unfair she has so much Ice Breakers and I want some, then she started showing me her room and trying to make me jealous because she has two really nice speakers. But yeh, then I ditched her because I would be in heaps of shit if i had stayed on the computer. The next day, more like that morning, I woke up to the sound of Eh, eh, eh, nothing else i can say... And I just groaned because I couldn't be bothered going for a morning walk even if it did increase my metabolism. So i just showered and did my already straight hair and put it into an "awesomely awesome" bun according to Alyssa. And I was ready for school very nicely done and prepared. Dude, i'm so happy.

At school i got there and I wasn't sure how i would feel. But after roll call standing outside the science blocks, I SAW HIM. sighhhhhhhh. LOL, im such a fag, but whatever. It made me smile and laugh and giggle and anindita kept looking at me weirdly. Even in science I was enjoying it. Well not enjoying it but I wasn't bored and LOL But yeah. I was smiling and I couldn't help it. So i think i've gone crazy. Then during recess, i sa him again. Obviously no one knew what was going on inside my head and I wanted to keep it that way. Recess was pretty quick just wandering around and talking to myself. (That's a joke thing, cz i was talking to jasmine, geddit ?) But yeah. After this was history and I walked with Jasmine to her room then we saw Fiona and who was in my class and she was going to the history blocks when I clearly told her that we were in the textiles room and i was just like whatever. So i left Jasmine and went off to Fiona. Then I asked her, why ? And she was like, Ivy. And i was like ooooohhhhhh. Laugh Out Loud ! That made total sense. While standing there for the few minutes, i saw sukhman and i couldn't stand not talking to him so i went up to him and gave him a hug and said sorry. (maybe i was crying, but i kept it together :D) So it's all good. This added to my already smiley-wiley faceeee. The history man. It was so random and funny. Because I'm me and retarded I wrote a note to Devesh and he wrote notes back. Then everyone else joined in. And soon it ended up being paper thrown at you, and the messages would say. You're gay or If you read this, you're gay. Either one it still meant you were gay. And I'm an edible loser that taste delicious that Devesh is going to eat because he's going to own me in basketball, supposedly. Laugh out loud.

On the way to maths i saw sumeet and that homo he wanted me to hi-5 him because he thinks he's so cool and just so i wasn't slack i did, then when i walked past him, i quickly my hand because of tranny germs, ewwwwww. Laugh OUT loud. btw, mate this is ur homo section where i bitch about you.

Third period was maths. And i sat next to anavi and ivy and it was funny, because we had clynes that day and he just seemed so clueless. And i thought the lesson would drag on but luckily sitting next to ivy and anavi, helped me get through it. And me and Ivy just sat there blank. HAHA. And halfway through I had this hunger in my stomach and i heard my tummy rumbling and i was like shitttt. Cause hello, it was going to get louder gradually and i was scared everyone would hear it. luckily my friend she had food for me to eat and it went away. And soon what had been an hour to go turned into 2 minutes till the bell would ring. And it finally did. Lunchtime i quickly ran to the microwave and heated my food with Fiona because I was there the whole time. Hehe. Then we went to the study group and i was just eating because himmat couldnt really help me much because firstly i wasn't really in the mood for it and it was only one question. So after that it didn't last for much longer. So we left and then i was just talking to ivy because i didn't feel like being a curry today. So we ate ice cream which didn't taste nice but it was still good, cause i love ice creammm (: Then I saw him again, when we were walking he was right in front of me. Yehp, me is insane now. Lunch was over quickly.

in IST, i was still in a pretty good mood. I just imagined him then that kept me good for the whole lesson. Then geeth and i was having long distance mouth convos and LOL. Me and emma are no longer, like, the sacrifices i had made for her. Then she leaves me for someone else. And I thought we were Dil & Emma. LOL geddit ? After class, geeth comes up to me pink bra?. I was just :O. HEHE.

at the bus stop talking to anavi, happy, happy, happy. LOL, that's all that was going through my head. And i couldn't think of anything else to do so i was just smiling. On the bus Katrina and Sara were talking in third person and I was included in the conversation and i found it extremely weird and stupid but yeah. Laugh Out Loud! They asked me a few questions. Something about why is jasmine happy, katrina is a bitch and sara is gay. It was random.

But now, I'm here sitting on my fat ass (literally) and planning to do my work. Whenever i say planinng, it usually means i'm not gonna do it till 12 at night so it can wait till then. So, maybe i will go on the bike and work of those cookies i ate during maths and the popcorn i ate when i got home.

laters dudes

p.s. hope you found this day more intersting compared to my other days...

p.s.s. I forgot to add the fact that i' m stil jealous because here's this girl with a perfect life who has everything anyone could ever want: beauty, personality, friends, family, athleticism. But sometimes i think she takes it for granted. HAHA no she doesn't but it seems makes it more dramatic, Laugh out loud. But yeah, if only I knew what went on in her head. It would make my life a whole lot easier. Oh yeah. But sometimes I think she tries to hard, like really too hard, and it's so obvious maybe some things just don't come natural to her, like for example me being high I can't help it, seriously. I'm such a loser, but whatever.

phew.

tired:


i woke up this morning, from lack of sleep. my dreams, were, horrible. well no one else would think it was horrible but i do, and i didn't like it. And the first thing i thought about when i woke up was the exact same thing in my dream which freaked me out even more. what should i do?

the day went pretty quick today. just ate breakfast and did the dishes, which was ok. Then went on the computer and made a positive progress in my english narrative which is a real good thing. Afterwards I just got distracted and started playing games which was quite fun. Then i realised there was a desperate housewives marathon on and i was just like YEY! Like i've missed the past few weeks and it was time for me to catch up in the missing part of my life. It was so long but who cares. Ever since MSN came, desperate housewives moved out. LOL. That basicaly took up most of my day. After all those shows I realised it was time for me to run again. But today it had felt more like a chore than something which i usually enjoyed, i don't know. Maybe it's because i'm lacking motivation or i'm just purely lazy. But whatever. My time improved, which i was relieved. I think it was around 20 seconds faster than my previous time. OK, to make it simpler:

Previous time before this run: 9.12 minutes
Previous Personal Best: 8.58 minutes
New Personal Best: 8.51 minutes

So i guess i am making good improvements, but now my calves. They really hurt. It won't go away and no one will massage it for me, which is really gay because the other way to make it better is to sleep with it on a pillow which is impossible for me because I sleep on my side and therefore me sleeping with a leg on a pillow is really awkward, basically I can't sleep like that. So my legs, calves really hurt.

Now i'm craving dumplings and i want to have some, or make some or anything. Because dumplings are very delicious.

This weekend is just the break ive needed from school. No stress has been put on my shoulders. Actually there was but because of the swimming i did and the run, it disappeared. Now school is on tomorrow, I don't know what it will bring but BRING IT ON i say.

laters,..

saturday

swimming was fun
for today this was how much i'd swum:
- 950 m Free
-200 m back
-100m breast
- 50m fly

and from doing all that i was so tired
that at the hairdressers while waiting for my sister
i nearly fell asleep
...
i was also extremely bored
that i just kept typing his name in my phone
and i saw family friends
and yeah
i fell asleep today

jasmine said im insane
and the thunder prevented me from going on the computer

i cant be bothered with the details today
laters.

high self esteem

basically today's blog will be about me and the positive things. The main reason I'm doing this is because I've been told of for being negative about myself and not caring about myself when hello, I do. But they meant mentally, so like, yeah.

firstly, i'm so good. The fact that I can keep this blog up specially when I'm a very busy person and have so much homework and assignments and commitments that i must do. So, i'm just saying that, I'm good at this blogging thing and maintaining it. (is that how you spell it?)

next, today at school, felt down that usual. Maybe because of the clouds and how it always brings my mood down. Luckily, not many people notice except for some, which at time, I can lie my way through things that they do end up beieving me. Commerce was great, except for the dead mood which everyone seemed to have. Or did my aura happen to affect everyone else and also the fact that I was distant and away from where I usually sit did affect me in a way. I can't continue about this anymore. Recess was gay, long and lasted a while. Just listened to music. That was basically what I did the whole day. At least in English I got one of my class homework back and we had to write a short story and we had to use clothing with the description and it was such a relief that I had achieved a higher mark than my previous work. That helped me with my mood but I guess nothing could really change it. (Well I know what would have, but that would just be pushin my luck). Afterwards was Maths and Julina wasn't here today so I found myself sitting next to Ivy, I think I missed Ivy. What happened between us last year wasn't a major thing but it did kinda separate us. But now I'm happy that we're friends again.

Lunch time we thought we had to go to that study group thing and then we asked the teacher what we were meant to do and then she told us that it was meant for mentors only and then me and Ivy left and ran and giggled. Haha. We were both like; Like we could be mentors, we'll probably just confuse ourselves. Good times. Sitting in that semi-hobo seats reminded me of the old times, when everyone was happy. But I managed to listen to music again while sitting with them (and i think I'm going deaf from the loudness of the volume). And I wasn't emo, just distant from evryone.

Last period, science and i thought I was going to sleep. I could feel my eyelides just slowly closing but I told it to keep awake. Therefore science was boring and nothing could be done about it.

At the bus stop, Katrina told me news which had relieved me but I kinda knew already but yeah, thing doesnt like me. And I was glad. But Katrina just gave me a look which I thought she was worried about me, because for once it was someone good and I was like totally not agreeing with her. She also said: Can't you see the big picture?. And my reply of course, no one would get except for Jasmine? and maybe Devesh? Don't worry, I have an even bigger picture in my mind. Laugh Out Loud!

Came home; i was early so i ate ice cream. Mum was like no you can't open the mango ice cream so i had to eat the vanilla ice cream. Then later Sunshine comes and she opens the mango ice cream and I was just like :O. But whatever I had some afterwards. Later, i went for a jog or run, it was ok. I wanted to run. As i have been lately. But I don't know I got a stitch, cramp, something that hurted in my stomach and I was in pain. It was hurting. Couldn't reall complain though, firstly because there was no one to complain to and secondly I don't like complaining. it makes me look weak. I don't like being weak. The worst part was my time was slower than my previous run by 14 seconds which is shameful but I have to be positive so maybe it was just because I've been tired lately. And i can improve a lot more and I just have to be patient. OMG i suck at this being nice to myself thing. But yeah.

Now just sittin here taking alyssas go on the comp. I'm so evil.
Question: How would you approach and tell the person you like that you like them and can't stop thinking about them and it's affecting you very much etc.?

please help me with this question because I'm going insane.,
laters.

stupid stupid stupid

jasmine you are a fool;

today began with that gloomy weather which i really dislike. and everyone waking up late to the sounds of me screaming because hello, it WAS late. I managed to do everything i needed to do to get ready for school and other stuff even my wide reading was half completed.

assembly was cancelled which was pretty good because, no one likes it and it's extremely boring. actually i cannot be bothered going into detail with this so i will go to my main point. during italian i poured water over sukhman's head because he was teasing me and i wasn't in the mood and now i regret it and really pissed at myself and i don't deserve this school or this country.

and next period was pe and we had to do the beep test, i was actually up for it, but seeing as my previous period was ruined i no longer felt that same that i wanted therefore wasnt pump and just wasnt up to it. Sumeet made me run with him but i denied it, two reasons; 1 i would obviously be the first to pull out coz theyre all runners and 2 because im not good enough to run with him or anybody else. So i ran without him and next to jasmine instead. did quite poorly especially since i have been improving with other things lately and managed to only do 6.5 which is very shameful for me.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGHHH! I'm just really angry right now and pissed of at myself, i wanna cry but i can't and I don't know why i'm like this. It's not like i want to be like this but sometimes it just get out of hand and, why would anyone want to be my friend. My whole life and everyone else would be so much easer if they'd just ignored me and never became friends with me.

......... crying, ..............................


the worst part is, because of me not focusing on the right things i can't even do my work properly and i'm failing, failing everything and i do try in most subjects but i lack focus and therefore can't do anything. just get over it ! and leave me alone

................................................................................. crying,.....

i'm being open to my thougths, right now that's all i CAN do................

jasmine is a fake idiot that people like but shouldn't like.

mad !

lonely, jealous, angry
these 3 words is how i feel.


i woke up feeling tired and wanted to keep sleeping but the thought of Wednesday made me happy and get out of bed and shower quickly. Even finished early with my getting ready and leaving the house on time to go to the bus stop. With the awesomely cool bus driver, we arrived at school on time and got dropped of in the front gate, the one where everyone likes. I still thought the day was going to be good. I even got a very nice and warm hug from my kuya, which felt good i guess. It seemed to lighten me but he said that I was too short to be hugged, so if i wanted more hugs, i had to grow taller. The englightened mood was soon destroyed after receiving my history results back which was OK, i suppose cause my friend also got this mark, but I knew i could've done better, but shame on me. This was the beginning of my very low mood, though it still had its ups and downs. The rest of the lesson was watching this video on Australia and why people went to Vietnam and conscription and 'All the Way with LBJ' etc. It was all quite boring and very UNinteresting, which kinda shut me down and maybe that's why I wasn't paying attention to the rest of the day.

recess was good, though hunger filled me which cause me to eat all my food and then feel full afterwards. IST was ok, but sitting there on the computer for a whole hour doing something so, something you don't want to do makes you think that it's a complete waste of time and typing continously also does hurt your hand especially if they're frozen stiff. The rest of the period went on, then bell rang and walked outside and SHIT. Man, it was raining. What a great day this was turning out to be. Well the rain clearly ruined my mood and I just wasn't with it for the rest of the day. But sport wasn't cancelled everyone still had to go, but lucky for us we got to go to lab 5 sit down, shut up and watch a stupid movie that everyone had already seen. Basically I thought the whole school day was a complete and utter waste of my time. And far out, frgn Sumeet I hate you! You're so ... aaaargh! Can't even describe it. Walking to station with PJ was fun and I wasn't hearing things and we ran and got there early which was quite nice for me seeing as I always get there in the last minute. At the station everyone else got there and Sumeet with a combover is totally ;). But yeah. Sorry mate, can't bitch about you, too hard. Anyways train arrived and seeing as I'm only there for 2 stops there nothing really much to go on about.

At the bus station I caught the right bus and got home early after of course getting work experience stuff ready. Came home and dad managed to ruin my already worn down mood with me because of me having overdue library books, It's not my fault i don't have time to return it and the worse part is mum makes a totally big deal out of it and tells her friend and making up crap and all she hears is two words and manages to make a whole speech on it. To add to that I had to go swimming which actually didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would, which was good. Because it calmed me down and englightened me again. Then after swimming came back home, gay, gay, gay. Did homework; got pissed at dad, he kinda got pissed at me too, but he just ignored it because he knew at least i was doing work. Yada yada. Now just sitting here doing more work. Need to scream or run. One of them because I will go crazy.

laters.

and btw, forgot to explain why i was lonely, jealous, angry today. later when i do feel like it. and also you're a homo for reading this.

another reminder

must not forget


each blog entry, i must:
-bitch about sumeet
- include the word homo
and other stuff.

reminder:

reminder:

Must not bitch about Sumeet.

that's gonna be hard.

peer support

how lovely was today
i could go on about it forever
but i think it lacked shit today
and only jasmine
knows what that means
so yeah
but it did
which saddened me
just a bit
but whatever

although there was still good things
which had occured
for example:
-whacking jasmine
with my book
during commerce
because
she was making
random humming
noises.
- me changing
my mind
to stay after school
to waste my time
on something
I already knew
which was really
a complete waste
of my time.
- caught the bus
and it was a good bus.

AND
OMG ! Did you see Sumeet's hair today, it was just like, OMG what a try hard man. That biatch! And she copied my outfit to school today. How dare she?!

hehe.
that was my day
to show the ups
and of course
downs...

anyways, laters,.

confused,.. again



----------------------

everyday my blogs have been getting shorter and shorter but like anyone cares about that, maimly because they would have to read less and they seem less boring when theyre short & sweet. Ha, unlike some other things.

hmm. i guess i'l begin with today i went to school and it was an extreme let down seeing as i already had a pretty crappy weekend. mostly because of the eww smell of the hair dye. and i dyed my hair. it's like so not obvious and i actually don't think no one has noticed. on the good side, my parents won't realise that i dyed my hair behind their back.

really, all i wanted to say was i just want to get all this over and done with. how long can someone last liking someone and not telling them. plus the fact i make it obvious enough for the second party to realise that hello, i like you! And as if my life couldn't get complicated enough, i have to cram in all my assignments and other stuffs which i particulary don't want to have to cram in.

so basically if you are reading this i love you, but you just don't know who you are just yet. I guess it'll just have to wait after all the assignments and shit that got to do. and my head hurts too. another complicated reason which i'm not gonna go into now.

and OMG, sumeet she tries so hard these days like it's not even funny no more. shameful.

so... laters,..

LOL

confused to the max = jasmine

yar :(


help me.

i can't stop thinking
but now i'm having second thoughts too
.......


btw.
Sumeet is a gay biatch.

...

sigh...

make up your mind already.

- must learn how to breathe when i see his face
or i will die.

maths test

i enjoyed today;
slightly
just odd though

jasmine (:

usual, usual, usual

i straightened my hair this morning, not that it already is but even more straight coz i felt like it but not watching the time i soon realised that whoops i'm late. haha. so i ran to the bus stop with my stupid leather shoes and twisted my ankle, and also realising how stupid i was because i was wearing two watches. luckily alyssa (that weirdo) wanted to use one of my watches so yeah.



at school assembly was boring, though it was very windy and cold in the fricken shade and the teacher would not let us sit in the sun.

first period: boring, fun, quick, ok...

recess: sat with my friends, LOL how randomly normal ?. it was funny cause ivy had never heard of cheese on spaghetti. hehe.

second period: complimented by emma ( + shini) on how particularly hot I was today ?. then me me and emma were going on about dilemnas and she was the emma and i was dil. it was so funny
third period: it was random sitting next to my man, haha. and yeah. i'm a wanker?. LOL seriously, say it like that: wanker? haha.

lunch: ditched jasmine, as a joke, but no ever runs after you which defeates the purpose of the whole thing, oh well. then as i was walking with anyvi (LOL) emma and sukhman because they were looking for me to show how hot i was today ? i really dont think i was that hot today, except for the weather thats why me and anavi bought ice cream. :D and also sukhman tied our shoelaces because we are lazy bums who wear skirts and can't tie shoelaces.

fourth period: it was very funny + disgusting. Like it was getting boring and devesh finds a grap throws at me and misses. I throw it back and it keeps going. Then ankita wanted a go so she had it, then because shes so sbruvln gets bahroze in the head and so the grape just flies everywhere in the room. the worst part is when the juice comes out. it was quite disgusting. then i finally threw it out, coz ankita told me and i was getting ewwed by it. then finally school finished.

bus: sitting there, katrina managed to see a danger sign and the picture looked like and person grtting crushed by a giant penis. LOL.

that's about it, really summarised coz maths test tomorrow and i'm tired
laters,..

LOL

i enjoyed today,
i really did.
- skips everything to basketball -
it was very fun, exciting, and i was made captain ?
I did like today,
and yes Jasmine, so much for me being sad today.
HAHA.
fail.
TRAIN RIDE was pretty quick though.
I even forgot to hurt Sumeet.
damn.


far out these days my blog is getting smaller and smaller
or maybe im just busy studying for maths test
.... HAHA. no way.
:P

laters,..

hey ?

happy birthday anna (:



i'm gonna keep this short and quick
today was ok compared to yesterday
and to make it worse
i'm sick and it's ewww.
actually i didn't find today
no good whatsoever.

zone-swimming carnival ;]

i love this monday. (:

Waking up early in the morning for someone who's not a morning person such as I, is the not the best thing. Especaially walking in the night sky to go to the bus stop even though it was already 6am in the morning. Feeling really tired and having to on have 4 hours of sleep because of me suffering from

I CAN't SLEEP BECAUSE I'M THINKING TOO MUCH DISEASE

didn't help me one bit. Anyways at the train station sitting there lonely, at dawn watching disturbia, is kinda freaky and waited there for 40 whole minutes for the train. It was also quite boring.

Arriving at school were guys and of course my lovely swimmer friend, waiting for the teacher to arrive and get on the bus. The bus ride was actually quite quick, even though we had to stop at Nepean. Soon we were at Glenbrook to begin the long day ahead of us. It was a while before my first event, but my friend convinced me to swim for her and therefore me ending up doing 100mBreast. Of course, it was me so I was shitting myself because I was nervous and I knew I wouldn't have a chance against any of them. sigh. In the end I cam 2nd last with a time of 2.13 ?

I think...

To add to the day was the randomnest of everyone which did make me happy and I totally forgot about my problems and like did not realise that until now. HAHA. I'm so slow... Actually no, I'm going to prove to everyone that I'm not slow and I'm smart and good. But yes, I skipped the main event which was the main purpose of me going there because I couldn't be bothered plus the fact that I was actually tired and very sleepy.

The day continued on and it was soon time for the 4x50 Free Relay and I was excited/nervous. I mean I had to be good otherwise I would be letting the team down and I couldn't handle that. But before the race did begin, teacher came up to me and she was like Jasmine, as soon as you finish grab your stuff, dont even get changed, just go on the bus and change at school and I was just like OK ? The race started and I was the third swimmer and I was just like, swim as fast as possible and that's it. My turn, I swam, swam, swam, oh shit. I'm out of breath, then I slowed down from then on. But it's all good we ended up coming 3rd place baybehh.

The next thing I had to do after getting out of the water was run get my stuff, I only had a towel wrapped around me and a shirt just around my neck. On the bus I put on my shorts, which got soaked in less than a minute. Everything was just wet and me being stupid forgot to bring a change of clothes because I thought oh, don't worry about it, it won't get wet, WRONG. HAHA, so on the bus I was just wet. And I was also trying to eat a banana but the bus wouldn't let me cause it kept moving away everytime I put it in my mouth. Loser.

Back at school when we did arrive I went to the toilet and took my swimmers on and left my bikini on. And I got out and my friend was just like oh, i don't think I should get changed. And I was like whatever. Then she dries her shorts and dries it with the drier and this chick just walks in and looks at her, and we start saying, Swimming Carnival. Then she puts it on and dries herself under the drier. It's hard to explain but it looked weird.

We finally walk out of the toilet and then she decides that we should go to class coz our teacher will be looking for us. And I was like FINE! So I walk into the class clueless and obviously, what was I meant to do with only 15 minutes till the bell. Anyways I get in and the guys start laughing and I'm just like WTF ? I just ignored them and talked to my other friend who I'd ditched and just talk there till the bell rang. When school was over I was outside the classroom and one of the guys comes up to me and he's like Jasmine, when you came in we thougth you weren't wearing any pants (laughs) and I was just like shocked and my other other friend said Nah, she's just hot which I took as a compliment. Then as I was walking away another guy goes up to me and he's like Jasmine, when you came in I asked ******* if you were wearing pants cause it looked like you weren't wearing any and this made me very more self conscious because yeah. And more compliments and OMG's from my very short shorts. Laugh Out Loud, I'm not doing that again.

At the bus stop, just talking to my friend, pretending to be D&M-ing. It was quite lovely and funny and then something funny happened which can't be mentioned because if she does read this and find out I said something, I'll be murdered. HAHA, but yes.

The rest of the day was pretty good and now sitting here, again

Must do other stuff now.

Laters.

haha-happy (:



Laugh Out Loud, that was so extrememely LAME, and no doubt about it. But yesterday was amazingly fun and cool. Kuya and ate's wedding was actually the first wedding I've been to since arriving here in Australia. Although it wasn't like what I thought it would be it was still pretty damn good. I'd made myself look good for the night and here is me being a frkn luvo.

I'd also taken heaps of other pictures but I really don't have time to edit them, make them look pro and also bother uploading it. But the highlight of yesterday was the fact that I drunk. HAHA, not really, firstly because it was so hard to try and drink anything alcoholic cause if i did have a drink all the adults will be like, That's alcohol or did you put something in that drink. So yeah. They've lost their trust in me. But I did have some alcohol but I didn't feel too good afterwards. The main highlight was actually I had fun. Usually at parties I would be bored to death but last night it was that good that I was enjoying myself until I fell asleep but that's usual for me anyway as i always fall asleep plus it was already 12 at night, but everyone else was still partying.

I want to go to another wedding now. Hurry up Jasmine and get married. LOL. Now I'm just here trying to to do my homework but succeeding with failing because of distractions. And before that we went back to the house of the party from last night. And there was this guy there, whos the brother of my friend and he's good looking, hot, etc. He's too old for me but I really want him to get with my aunty who I dearly miss. Plus he's nice.

Ok, must do work.
Laters.