It's been a while

I've lost the motivation to write.

It seems like you don't trust me and when you do that I feel that I can't trust you as well and I don't feel like telling you anything. It's kinda making our relationship rocky. I don't like it.

I wish I could just end things, I don't want to though.


YOU MAKE ME CRY.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.

and then you ask my why I drink.

I'm so angry.

It's not fair.

Is this all karma?

Fool's Day

Yes, I absolutely do feel like a fool right now. On the brighter side, 1st of April has no significance to me whatsoever unlike two other people I know. Glad I changed that.

Recently, I just haven't had the motivation to write anything. I'll just keep things simple. Today was the last day of school spirit week and frankly, this being my last school spirit week ever, it was just plain shit and stupid. I'd much have rather just normal school with normal everything because it wouldn't have made any differences. Anyways got results back. I'm somewhat disappointed in myself because I expected better from me, but hey we don't always get what we want right. So mathematics you piss me off and same with chem. Although it wasn't THAT bad, but still. The amount of study I put in I think doesn't really equal the results which I did receive. Eh, whatever. It's too late now.

Another thing was okay, so like I dress real nicely, like I basically was a super try hard today, all just for my boyfriend. I mean I even woke up early. And all my efforts were pretty much a waste because it went unnoticed. I guess I'm just fat and ugly to him. I want to spend more fucking time and I hate always having to say everything, just sometimes is it not obvious that that's what I want. I hate this.

bye.

What, Again

I'm getting that feeling again. That horrible feeling that makes me think horrible thing. I'm also getting jealous. I wish I'd spent the day more productively. Instead I sat down doing nothing but eat, although that was actually pretty relaxing. Except, I don't know if I can handle it anymore. Being away for this long making no contact whatsoever, it makes me wanna cry but I'm too lazy for that, ahhaah. This long weekend has been the shittest and it just seems to go on forever. I'm bored shitless and I don't have anything to do. And tomorrow I have to go to a family lunch where I will spend my time pretending like I care what goes around me when I know that no one really cares if I was there or not. Whatever.

I love Kat's hair. It's so awesome.

PLEASE GO AWAY

laters bychezzz

Long Weekend

Uhh, this long weekend is so bad. I'm not doing anything. I finished cleaning my room this morning. It didn't even take me the whole day. By lunch time I was finished and was eating lunch. And then I read some manga while watching Imagine Me and You which had lesbian chicks which I thought was cute and nice that people could accept that. Then around two started watching my favourite soap and soon realised I fell asleep. Or more like I fell into a trance where I knew what I was doing but I just couldnt control myself. Hahah, that makes no sense at all but whatever.

My weekends now empty. I'd made so many plans yesterday one for pretty much everyday of this extended weekened that I had, now all ruined and I'm having the most shitty time ever. Well not really I'm just chillaxing and stuff but still. I wanted to spend money and eat food all day...not that I haven't been doing that already. But the main thing is I made plan with friends and I cancelled. I hate it when that happens to me so I hate it when I do it to them. It's not like I wanted to. Family and stuff, don't really want to get into it because I can't find anyway of making it interesting to read. Not that this blog is even any interesting, which is a shame.

Blogspot is a lot better than Tumblr, this of course is a personal opinion because, well it's my opinion, duh. My reason for this is simple. I like writing about nonsense and nothingness and expressing what I truly feel. I guess you can do that on Tumblr too but sometimes it just feels like your just posting pictures that other people have already seen and it gets so repetitive and boring. Plus as much as pictures may be interesting and can say a thousand words, oh this is what I told my boyfriend: A picture can have a thousand words, but Jasmine has a million more. I don't know if he read that or found that the least bit funny but I thought it would be a sweet thing to say, again a personal opinion.

I really want to do something. I'm not even going out tomorrow. I don't want to clean because that's gonna take me like what, a few minutes and then what after. I'm just gonna be bored again. Oh, I've realised that lately I've well not enjoyed but I like it better when everything's clean and neat. I'm not a neat freak but I think I might be turning into my dad. I'm growing into his cleaning habits which is quite odd because I use to be so close to living in a pig sty. I guess it's not that much of a problem. At least I'm clean and I'm no a dirty, dirty girl. Ha, yes I just had to put that okay.

To think that I couldn't write that much today, I've written quite a fair bit, yet again. Before I forget, RIP Elizabeth Taylor. I haven't watched many of your movies but I really liked the movie Taming of the Shrew where you played Katherina. Yeah, I really liked that. You had a great lifetime. I wish I could live a great lifetime too but of course in my own way. You really are a great person.

No more writing. Glad to hear from my that boy, whom I still haven't met. Far out, whatever he does though he's just so funny and nice and caring and why does he keep calling me cute when he too hasn't seen me because I know one thing for sure, my personality ain't nowhere near cute. Nothing about me is cute. I'm a sophisticated, classy, edible woman.

:)

laters bychezzz

my, my, my

oh fudge apple.

everything is all wrong.
this means that EVERYTHING IS NOT RIGHT.
i didn't plan anything
except i had expected things to be different
you know where the princess gets her happy ending


i'm not going to say it again because this topic which i'm thinking of probably has a life of it's own because of its repetitiveness and that well and truly sucks you know. i dont like the idea of me thinking about it but everytime i do it kinda is the right answer although to myself i'm not making any sense. some people are right and some are just plain wrong. they are just selfish and sometimes can't see what a person is going through. maybe if people had tried to open their eyes and saw things the way i do, that way i get hurt and the way i see myself being totally something. this is such a complete waste of my time. but because i dont really have anything worth spending it on this is the most useful way to spend it. i don't even know why i bother sometimes.

towers you effing suck
i dont even know why i'm even doing this,
esp. when i know that i dont have to.

Lollipops are yum.

I'm on alyssa's computer.

I should get of it now 'aye? Uhm, maybe after I write this and check my email. I really don't want to be on the computer the whole day. It's bad for you. Btw, this lollipop tastes great. Reminds me of thursday and the memories I had on that day. A very random day. This lollipop is blue and it's very yummy.

Nothing done today.

Actually I did some maths. It got boring, so I gave up.

I can't hold it back because i've been waiting for so long...

I have your name in 14 blogs?

Annoyed

At multiple things:
- waking up to find out I slept in my sisters room. urgh
- cleaning up. urgh
- having to stop watching movies to connect the router. urgh
- failing to connect the router. urgh
- it's cold. urgh
- school tomorrow. urgh
- regrowths. urgh.

list could go on.

i watched movies today.
* 10 things i hate about you
* the nanny diaries.


^urgh is your fault jasmine.