my, my, my

oh fudge apple.

everything is all wrong.
this means that EVERYTHING IS NOT RIGHT.
i didn't plan anything
except i had expected things to be different
you know where the princess gets her happy ending


i'm not going to say it again because this topic which i'm thinking of probably has a life of it's own because of its repetitiveness and that well and truly sucks you know. i dont like the idea of me thinking about it but everytime i do it kinda is the right answer although to myself i'm not making any sense. some people are right and some are just plain wrong. they are just selfish and sometimes can't see what a person is going through. maybe if people had tried to open their eyes and saw things the way i do, that way i get hurt and the way i see myself being totally something. this is such a complete waste of my time. but because i dont really have anything worth spending it on this is the most useful way to spend it. i don't even know why i bother sometimes.

towers you effing suck
i dont even know why i'm even doing this,
esp. when i know that i dont have to.

Bloated

These holidays have made me realise a lot of things. Things which has made me feel either positive or negative towards myself and the existence of life itself. But all those realisations, to me, right now, they don't matter...

Mum had a dinner party and gosh I'm full. I feel like my stomach is going to explode from all the food and all who came was just one other family. But the food was enough for a whole town in South Africa. Anyways I'm annoyed at Alyssa at the moment and everything she's doing AT THE MOMENT and moments afterwards as well is irritating me and I don't like it.

July

A lot of things this month, too many that I'm not going to bother mentioning any because even that I'm too lazy to do. School, parties, life, all those things will change. Especially my life. It already has, for the better, I'm not so sure about that but you never know.

Is that all you can do?

I cry, I cry till I see myself in the mirror, seeing who I've become because of what you've done to me. Hey, I know, life's not fair, but neither are you. I want everything, but I'm not getting anything because I don't deserve it. I don't work for it. If only I could run away and leave everything as it is. Things would be better for everyone and one day, people would act as if I never existed. That would be nice, although that won't happen, I'm not fair.

I'm not making sense, neither is this stupid life of jasmine.

Which reminds me, my friend, I read your blog. There's no need to say anything more. I understand just as you hopefully understand me. Apart from that learn to just listen, listen to what I want and now what you think I want. I think that's it and I'm sorry.

Wow, I'm Bored Once Again

You know how in every school there's a time when people have to do exams. Well this coming week is that time for our grade in our school. It sucks. Not literally because it doesn't suck on lollipops but you know what I mean, right. By the way, me changing font colours is the biggest disaster ever. I can't even get the whole world, LOL, word*. I'm just wasting time but that is already quite obvious. I really am just not in the mood for this studying thing. I'm not confident in what I know either but I'm getting sick of it and because I'm very smart, I'm the only one who knows how to have fun even though it's a stressful moment in our lives. More jibber-jabber but I'm currently insane and all I can think about is x = 2+5x(43-4x) and more but I don't want to bore people with more maths and more uneccessary things even I wouldn't read about. As you can see I'm just trying to extend this blog post longer but I'm not very good at making up random shit because I'm that type of person who gets straight to the point. Very much like my dad.

My mum, OMG, wth man. She got me so worried man. I thought something had happened to her. She wouldn't answer any of my calls and no one knew where she was. And later on my uncle didn't help much either acting like he cared when he was talking about my mum to me. He left us alone at home too. Which kinda left me in charge and I did a pretty good job of it, for once. I think I've grown up and finally accepted the fact that, I'm no longer a child and I can do responsibilities and I can be trusted, well depends what it is. Most of the time then.

I want to make plans to go out tomorrow. I don't think I'll be allowed though. I could like say that I'm gonna study with friends. But I don't think that's believable. Oh well, it won't hurt to try, right?

I'm friends with this person now. After that crazy me I'd gone through because I'm so stupid the wound between us has healed and once again made me happy. I love how some people can just do that even though it's not expected from them. Right now, I have 3 of those people. If you think it's you well it's not. Actually one of them may be you but it depends who you are. Apart from those 3 people there are 2 other people who are just too special to me that I can't actually categorise them. So maybe I think that might be you. But only one. LOL, if you get me, which I'm pretty sure you don't. So yeah.

This blog actually turned out longer than I expected. Not a good idea. I just wasted on valuable science reviewing time.

What is a current? It's the movement of positive charge. My bad, flow of positive charge.

Laters,.
;]

mad !

lonely, jealous, angry
these 3 words is how i feel.


i woke up feeling tired and wanted to keep sleeping but the thought of Wednesday made me happy and get out of bed and shower quickly. Even finished early with my getting ready and leaving the house on time to go to the bus stop. With the awesomely cool bus driver, we arrived at school on time and got dropped of in the front gate, the one where everyone likes. I still thought the day was going to be good. I even got a very nice and warm hug from my kuya, which felt good i guess. It seemed to lighten me but he said that I was too short to be hugged, so if i wanted more hugs, i had to grow taller. The englightened mood was soon destroyed after receiving my history results back which was OK, i suppose cause my friend also got this mark, but I knew i could've done better, but shame on me. This was the beginning of my very low mood, though it still had its ups and downs. The rest of the lesson was watching this video on Australia and why people went to Vietnam and conscription and 'All the Way with LBJ' etc. It was all quite boring and very UNinteresting, which kinda shut me down and maybe that's why I wasn't paying attention to the rest of the day.

recess was good, though hunger filled me which cause me to eat all my food and then feel full afterwards. IST was ok, but sitting there on the computer for a whole hour doing something so, something you don't want to do makes you think that it's a complete waste of time and typing continously also does hurt your hand especially if they're frozen stiff. The rest of the period went on, then bell rang and walked outside and SHIT. Man, it was raining. What a great day this was turning out to be. Well the rain clearly ruined my mood and I just wasn't with it for the rest of the day. But sport wasn't cancelled everyone still had to go, but lucky for us we got to go to lab 5 sit down, shut up and watch a stupid movie that everyone had already seen. Basically I thought the whole school day was a complete and utter waste of my time. And far out, frgn Sumeet I hate you! You're so ... aaaargh! Can't even describe it. Walking to station with PJ was fun and I wasn't hearing things and we ran and got there early which was quite nice for me seeing as I always get there in the last minute. At the station everyone else got there and Sumeet with a combover is totally ;). But yeah. Sorry mate, can't bitch about you, too hard. Anyways train arrived and seeing as I'm only there for 2 stops there nothing really much to go on about.

At the bus station I caught the right bus and got home early after of course getting work experience stuff ready. Came home and dad managed to ruin my already worn down mood with me because of me having overdue library books, It's not my fault i don't have time to return it and the worse part is mum makes a totally big deal out of it and tells her friend and making up crap and all she hears is two words and manages to make a whole speech on it. To add to that I had to go swimming which actually didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would, which was good. Because it calmed me down and englightened me again. Then after swimming came back home, gay, gay, gay. Did homework; got pissed at dad, he kinda got pissed at me too, but he just ignored it because he knew at least i was doing work. Yada yada. Now just sitting here doing more work. Need to scream or run. One of them because I will go crazy.

laters.

and btw, forgot to explain why i was lonely, jealous, angry today. later when i do feel like it. and also you're a homo for reading this.