Another Year 2013

Wow, it's already March 2013 and a lot has definitely happened since my last blog post but to go through everything would just be tedious. Right now, something simple such as expressing my true feelings would complete this post as well as allowing me to feel a little more free.

Horrible.

That is how I feel, but it does tend to juggle with happiness, joy? grief...jealous. I'm filled with mixed emotions unsure of whether it's just part of being a woman or I have been deeply affect. I'm constantly feeling stressed from the pressure of the people around me. Though it would seem like it is just me who is putting this so-called pressure on my imaginary bubble.

Someone, burst my bubble.

No, my hair no longer looks like that.

I feel so empty

Who knew a lot could happen in just a little over a week. I don't know how to else to say this nor do I want to say this. I don't even know what to do, or say, or THINK. I'm confused to the max and I've lost all sense to do or want anything. I've been blinded and hurt yet I feel guilt within me. Everything's changed and for once I have no control over anything.

I feel useless.

Unfair.

The following two monologues are towards two different people. It is about a girl thinking about two people who she's unsure what they are to her. Basically it's just her talking to herself or in this case monologuing to herself. Enjoy. Uh, another thing, this is written in my language as in the way I speak because well that's how I speak and that's how I write and that's uh, how I make it interesting. Actually I don't think it's a monologue. Let's just call it a thingy. AHHAHA, a thingy.

Thingy #1

You don't spoil me. No matter how much you think you do, you truly and utterly don't. Although you are quite an awesome person. For once I can believe someone whom is new and different. Someone who lied about their age though. I still can't believe you'd do that just cause you thought you had the blood of an 18 year old pumping through your veins. But the things you do and say. It's very funny and I'm glad that well you Answered my question. Of course only you would know that but really I know your problem. And for the last time I'm not in love with you even though it may seem like it I'm just here as a friend just as you are towards me. I also know that you are in fact in love with her. I just don't see why you don't trust me that you can't tell me who she is or the fact that you complain to me about yourself and how you're opening up to me. It's ok. Really. Being able to open up to others is great because it allows you to release all those feelings which has been building up inside you. You don't want to explode from the overload of all the things which has causing you stress. Anyways off the topic (gosh, i do that in real life and my stories) back to the thingy (ahahha, thingy) oh my i have forgotten. Just stay awesome. And i believe in you. And I also believe that if you tried hard enough then maybe it could just happen. But what is my opinion. I'm just a kid.

Thingy #2

It took me a while you know. A really long time actually. Which is why I'm asking. Why now ? Why after all the things I had gone through would you do that to me. It actually is pretty hard. Especially for me. You know all the things I had to go through. Yet I'm glad that after all that we're still friends. Pretty good friends. Which is why, DAMN IT, why are you causing me trouble. The signals, the signs, the message, whatever it is that you are trying to tell me it's al wrong. And you're very awesome. Great. Although not many people can see you that way I do I'm glad that I do. Because really you are one of the nicest persons out there. Just stop being so unfair and please...let me move on with my life.


GAH. That's like fail. I need to try harder. Next time ?

Smiley Wiley

I could not stop smiling today that it got to a point where i just had to laugh crazily in my head and resort to biting Sukhman. That obviously wasn't what happened today but the smiling was true.

There is not a lot of things I wanted to say today but if you are ever bored try this helpful website which provides you with great advice. I think so anyway. Enjoy :D

HELPFUL ADVICE WEBSITE

Milkshake

That song was sung by Kelis and as well as that I made an OREO one today and man did it taste good. I remember the good old time in Philippines when I was still small and fit and I would always get bought milkshakes. Mmmh.

The topic of today is inescapable. Yes, today the exams are over. Over for the year and for many this is the last time some of their exams will ever happen again. And no I haven't forgotten about the School Cert. but from looking at the previous papers it would be a cinch. Well compared to the exams we've just had it kinda is. Anywho I'm enjoying my, I don't know how to put it but it's been fun just not doing anything.

On another note I was watcing UP late last night and it's a sad story. Kinda anyway. There's like he's hero and he turns out to be evil and it made me cry. Like not the fact that he's evil but what he did. It's so mean. I hate how I get so sensitive to the little things like that, movies, sometimes even songs. I don't know. Maybe I just have this skill to empathise with others and I believe that it's a good skill especially if I put it to good use.

i'm a babe.
i am many people's babe.

jealous?

Room is DONE

ive now changed rooms
and it been accomplished in 4 days
WELL DONE JASMINE
but not im bored
and 3 days till they come
hmmmm,
should i change my mind.

LOL
laters,..

;]