Winter is here

As always I begin my posts by saying "a lot has happened since my last post" well duh, you only post every few months, of course a lot is going to happen.

Well since my last post, I've had my birthday and turned 20, amazing right? It hasn't quite hit me though how old that really is. Soon ill be 21, then 22, 23, 24 and so on and so on and one day (hopefully) I'll be getting married and having kids.

Anyways celebrated my birthday with a few close mates in my very cosy home with lots of drinks shared between me, Kat and shini. For some reason others weren't as keen to drink. Why? Who knows.

In that time I've also has exams which has been so hectic. I've never had so much pressure to not only pass an exam but also do well considering how poorly I had done in the mid semester exams. I suppose it'll depend on the markers now whether or not I'll make it throuh. On the bright side, I did pass Networking and managed to get 69% which I'm quite proud of because I struggled in the beginning.

On a more recent topic, I've been such a party girl lately and drinking to my heart's content. Not only did I drink at Sarah's party but I also slept over and got to hang out with my oh so very cool cousins. To be honest I finally felt like I belong. Even if it was just for a few hours And even though I spent the morning running to and from the toilet, throwing up everything I had consumed that night. It was nice.

The other night, for post-exams celebrations me and the girls decided to head off to the city for dinner and clubbbanng. And as always I was up to my silly antics, dressed head to toe like a slur but being in Kings Cross, this was the social norm however still managed to get a few glances from the locals, but which girl dress with a low cut top and ass showing skirt didn't get a look, from anyone. We started the evening for a fine dinner at Chef's Gallery and I must admit, it was worth it. Especially the "Piggy visits Totoro House" dessert, WORTH IT! after dinner, some of the girls has left and the rest of us got ready then headed off to the cross and went to Soho, FOAM PARTY where I made my debut in hooking up with someone I've never met before nor do i plan to ever again. No need to worry, it was just a few seconds of mouth to mouth action, which frankly I didn't even enjoy that much. (Not into tounging). I also vaguely remember introducing himself (don't remember his name) and I replied by saying my name is Hannah, which we all know is not. Then things got a little wild so I decided to put a stop to it.

After the incident I decided to take the girls to Trademark although a bit hesitant on the price, but managed to get free entry *cheering and to be honest I still love Trademark. I love the music, the setting and location. Overall it was a great night with the girls which was abruptly ended due to freshy Indians hitting on one of my girls. But the whole thing was a success.

And now, I'm just back to my bored Jasmine, who doesnt know what to do with life.

Breath of Fresh Air

I think for once I'm able to feel free and not chained and held back by any force. I know that for once I didn't do anything wrong. Which is nice. And I'm finally able to see the light. Oh lol I don't know what I'm talking about. But on the bright side I woke up feeling refreshed and somewhat relieved. I don't think I've had a dream that good in a while which is astonishing considering misery has befallen on me lately.

Whatever. I still have the same attitude towards life but for the time being I'm going to allow myself to enjoy it. At least this way nothing can hold me back from my true desires. Or anything really.

For those few of you who read this, I apologize for this insane post. I don't even know what I'm going on about myself so I would believe that this is the same for yourself but rather you're are all alot more confused than I am.

Have to study now, sadly.

Numb

It has been a while.

Many things have happened since my last post, which probably means I need to post more often but takes too much effort really, for no one to read in the end so what's the point. Aside from something to read in the future of course. And I'm surprised no one has found this blog considering it is public but that may be due to my constant changing of the url which I don't actually know what it is anymore.

So moving on, I died my hair again. More accurately I got it done at the salon, full head of foils and so I'm now half blonde. I'm halfway with it considering not many people like it or complimented me on it. They just stare at me for a second and start talking about something else which I think means that they don't like it. However, recently I've been actually trying to try and bother styling my hair and I'm kinda liking it now. I think it's just everyone's attitude towards me that's causing me to feel like this towards myself. Which shouldn't really affect me cause F em.

On a much warmer note, it actually feels like summer now. Or at least spring so I've taken this opportunity to constantly go to the beach, cause why not? And here are just some photos which we're taken. (Still fatlol)

sis, moi and cuz @ Bondi

wasn't at the beach but hey they're my bestfsss ♥

Aside from the beach, I don't think that I've been living my life to the potential. Maybe because I'm allowing others to control my life and thus not furthering my networks and what not but I'm constantly feeling sad and alone and all that kind of emotion. It's probably because I was PMS-ing but I also know the other reason. I guess I just wished that you had more courtesy towards me, or at least my feelings. I don't think I've put as much effort as I have in our friendship compared to others and for some reason this is how I'm treated. Maybe it's by accident but still, I feel neglected. Rejected? Yes, rejected. I thought that the Jasmine who always got rejected was left behind in high school. But it seems that this feeling has come back and I have no choice but to suck it up and move on because I'm afraid that if I start making a big deal out of it or telling someone I will just burden them or become a drama queen which I don't like seeing on others and especially not myself. I've just left it at that I guess. There's nothing between us. There never was. Fuar, it just seems like I wasted my time again though. I keep making the same mistake and I never seem to learn. And in the end I'm the one who's hurt. Like I'm being punished for not listening to the people around me who told me this and that yet I persistantly believe that for once I'm making the right decision. Well, Jasmine, you're not. So grow up.

Less rant more happy bloggy stuff. Got mid-sem marks back as well as my MPO assignment. I've managed to pass all of them, some barely (ACCOUNTING) but overall I'm content considering the amount of effort which went into those assessments. For some reason it's not getting to my head that I need to get my act together and start focusing on my education, cause honestly it's all I've got right now. That and work. What even is a social life. I mean it's not existing for me really. My friends are all busy. My other "friends" don't even speak to me. And I struggle making friends as it is. My self esteem is at it's all time low and I'm just relying on my make up and dressing skills to cheer myself up and at least make myself feel beautiful or somewhat like that. So yeah, uni. Not really motivated but I'm putting more effort into that now. I guess.

And my all time fave, I'm seeing him on Saturday. I think? I hope so. I'm kinda excited. Haven't seen him in a while and well he really has been there for me all the time. I just chose to ignore because sometimes he pissed me off (but then who doesn't, right?). I'm kinda hoping to spend the whole afternoon with him and then have dinner but I'm so worried that I won't be able to enjoy my day for some unforeseen reasons but I'm still looking forward to it.

Lastly, my arm is numb. Like numb. I got Implanon inserted in my arm and well they put in anasthesia (ceebs dictionary) and she said it takes a few seconds to take affect but like it was affecting me yet and she cut my arm and put it in and stung like OMG but then lucky the anasthesia did kick in and now my arm is just numb. Then stupid me decided to transfer the rain water to the other tank, manually, one bucket at a time and now my arm feels really weak. Plus I have like a bandage on it so I full had to work out what clothes I was going to wear otherwise my mum would've asked me WTF is that and WTF. It would not have ended well...

To summarise, everything around me is pretty hectic aside from myself which is stationary and boring and lifeless and honestly, I just have no motivation to do anything, well because I just don't. People suck. People suck because they don't realise they hurt my feelings even though I've told them how sensitive I am. And I'm not even overreacting. I have some patience, but after a while, why wait?

In the end you're just going to be alone anyway.

2012

BRING IT ON

Random Again

Haven't posted recently but here's something I want to delete this from my phone and this is all I could be botehred typing up.

Text Messages with Sumeet

S: hey beautiful,i am gonna go to sleep now.hope you aresleeping well.just thought i should tell you that i am thinking of you and thati love you very very much

J: Magic signal number
aka msn.

S: Hey beautiful :) keep studying.I have to go out to thisHSC seminar thing.starts at 4.15 dunno for how long.leavin now.I'll get on msnlater.bye bye *kiss* imy

J: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY BABY! Okay I proly should havewritten it before 12 so that it could be sent at 12, doesn't matter. I'd beatyou anyway (omgosh, i'm sorry if i act like everythings a game to me; it makeslife so much more interesting for me) but anyway i love you and i wish this isthe message you wake up to. I can't wait to see you later today. I'll have afew surprises for you, I HOPE haha. But yeah. You know you're my first realperson valentine i guess that's why it's a semi big deal for me PLUS i likewrapping things, with rubber :p yeah i should stop talking and go to sleep.HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY again. I love you Sumeet and only you. <3

S: Hey beautiful.I woke up to your message & have tosay,you really know how to kill me from the inside.I love u soo much babe,ur myeverything.happy valentines:)

S: What's the thank you for? I ate the
fairy floss,mmm yummy like u.thank
u for it.&helium.do it. :D

S: Fuck, nearly stacked it in the shower lol. Wonder y? :PGoing to sleep now.sry.cant help thinkin of u

J: Why do you like me so much?

S: It’s okay jasmine. & I like u coz u r nice,loving,care so much about me, make me feel very special & happy so I want to dothe same for u etc :) y u asking that?

J: Because I can and I want to know.

S: Is there anything wrong if I like u so much?&I justdo, don’t have many reasons,but I really like u:)

S: How do you start a Jewish Marathon?Roll a penny down ahill. Lol better be readin this in the morning:)

J: She gets home when I start studying math. WOW

S: Cmon keep going.in the name of maths.wooo turnin me on:P& u make it sound like u came home when u were fapping haha. Playing stickcricket in chem. :D fun

S; Good morning gorgeous. WE managed to make yesterday goodafter all.Lead by the captain of the boat itself *salute*Capt’n slow:P thank uas well babe.fah miss u

S: Jasmineee I love you soo muchhh.please stop checking outcars haha.I want u to check me out,wait no I have to pee, check me out later.Imiss you too babe :)

J: Im sorry for giving you such a bad week. I don’t evenhave my period. :p

J: Black swan? Aha

S:Haha woops.forgot it.its ur fault.I remembered my bit on96kisses,just didn’t ask for em.on Monday:)

S: Good morning prettybum.my mum has the car till 12,so I’llcome to ur house around1?is that okay?

J:Nah its too late everyone wil be home we wont get anystudy done

S:Everyone was gonna be home by 11.30anyway.it’ll be thesame.If not ur house how bout st marys lib?

J: Just come to my house then. St marys library not thatgreat.

S: woops.fell asleep.wakin up now :P dw I WONT WEARANYTHING(that u gave me,damn) cya around 1.miss u

J: You know what was weird. When the principal wasinterviewing me I had no panties and I was sitting across him. I had to makesure I didn’t open my legs. But yeah :P

S:wake up wake up wake up prettybume :) goodmorning.I lovehow u can make me feel so good. Miss u babe

J: Natalie portmans on the tv :D

S:u makeme feel good coz u’re a good girl aha.angel u dasexy.oh, might wanna read offliners on msn.

J: *massive rant that I cbf typing*

S: jasmine u r my everything. Just wanted u to wake up to amessage that made u smile.hope this worked :)

S: My head hurts.i miss u.the class is so noisy. I don’tfeel like doing work. I’m sleepy.I wanna touch u.I want u to hold me.I want uto kiss me. I want u babe imy

S: I freakin love u jasmine.oh the things I wanna do to u:)get out of my head,for a millisecond.please

S: LOL someone had fun:P & no u didn’t ruinanything.same for u,I get horny because of u soo many times. & lastlyjasmine, u mean more to me than anything else, ily

S: Lesson 1:how to take advantage when jas has no credit.‘hellooo if u don’t reply that means u owe me 5 kisses & head:D’ muhahah.Ireally miss u babe mwah

S: Hey, you’re the most amazing girl ever:) & I feel badfor hitting u earlier.I’m sorry.I love u heaps.If u don’t reply that means ulove me & I owe u kisses

S: 23/2/11 ;)

S: Damn I can’t be evil & be like if don’t reply blahblah, Coz u have the other phone.but (sexy butt :) I love u sooo much,u make meso happy.had a great time :)

S: I like water heaps,that means I do like u heaps,but only75%.That’s why 85 90 74, 100.69% :) I’ll be waiting at the library at lunch.Cya sexybum

S: sucks I’m not with u. hope you’re sleeping…look like suchan angel when u lie next to me.i love u

S: Hey beautiful.guess what-ur my gf hehe. Sucks for ueh,stuck with me.but I’m so lucky to call u mine

S: Duuude first time I wanked on train :D

Lol nah I did some chem. :P
I miss u prettybum
Msn after 10

S: Coming in late today. Aww man alarm woke me up,bodyaches, so hungry. Can’t wait to eat u :)

I've deleted the rest so I guess that's all left from the past. I also saw the photographers from formal and the pictures they took. They were alright, I think it's just cause I ruined my own night by not allowing myself to have fun, but no worries from now on FUN is my middle name :D

I'm sorry ready to move forward. And after receiving results I've realized that I was way too distracted this year and now I need to focus on what's important. Still having fun ofc now I'm just super excited that HSC is all over. Completely. Done. Nada. Over. Woo :D

Needed to Clean my Notes.

17/11/10

381A405A29B65A1D9C6210486A1E064554CFBBF531A3E14E9f0AA44DA253A639

It's time for the book to be updated again and it has come to my attention that I'm in the same position as I was before. On top of course. Haha. Moving on it's been a year since the book has last been updated (excluding the 69. text though) and since then a lot has actually happened. As i reminisce, I recall both the good and the well not bad but negative events which have occurred and during all those times there's be one man. One man with me the whole time. His name is...Jesus. Oh wait wrong book haha. I dont think I'm in the mood to go through all those events in detail and I will simply list the more significant times. This would probably include the times during indoor soccer, athletics carnival, walkathon, formal, graduation. And truly I can't continue with this because I must admit it will bring me to tears. 
So back to the main subject sumeet. He's tall :) not a lot has changed, however he has managed to mature and become a...tranny. Duh. Once a tranny always a tranny. His still the same nice guy who are nice to women and tease them and Omgosh Fuck lost my train of thought. It was something about sumeet. Lol. 

I have however found that we more common things than I previously thought. I found out that we both love bananas especially big ones. We like to eat it. Another similarity would have to be the love to stay up late at night doing absolutely nothing. Actually I don't like that, nor does he so that needs to be clarified. Uhmmm actually that's about it haha. We have nothing else alike and and omfg that fucking pubic hair on his fucking face. That definitely needs to be removed. It's longer than my cat's hair ;) LAWL. 

Ohhhh I just thought of something. We've been closer than ever haha if you know what I mean. 

This is failing. Back then I was still innocent and didn't know about all the dirty stuff and now all I'm thinking is I need some meat. Lol you gotta admit that's pretty good. 

Just some words which need to be not forgotten:
Expect the unSEXpected
eJERKulation


He hates my rings. 
If he had a Ring I wouldn't be complaining. 
But then again it's not like he'd be using it as a weapon against me. Hahah :)

He's the biggest jerk I know but he's also ONE of the nicest guys I know. I'll put it this way, he's a great friend. I don't have many gay guy friends but he sure tops that list :p i really don't have much more things to say to him or about him. There's so many little random things, too many to mention and too lost in my head to bother writing it down or in my case typing. 

21/11/10

1-107

1. Youre awesome
2. I'm awesome
3. You're hot & phattttt
4. Fuck yo mo
5. Gosh you are smart
6. I need to be taught
7. Still scared from the weather
8. I lost my toothbrush
9. Blog
10. Why are you sexy?
11. You make me laugh.
12. You love me cz you know im pretty awesome
13. Friday
14. I forgot 
15. Haha
16. Im horny
17. Lol jk.
18. Need to mbate tho before period.
19. Shut up
20. 2+0=2
21. I hear something rustling
22. Days till yo bday
23: 2 girls + 1 cup
24: oh baby
25. Dance with me
26. I'd like a hug with no sweat or any form of contact
27. Fuck me
28. Tired already
29. Hurry up.
30. November 93: sexpot's bday
31. I want sexy clothes.
32. Does that mean i can wear you?
33. Not gonna fit.
34. Thats what she said.
35. Come here
36. No dont
37. Actually please :)
38. Be nice to me
39. As will i, 2 u
40. Its 10.51
41. Yr disgusting
42. Im doing pretty well.
43. You're kind.
44. You make me smile
45. You make me happy
46. You unsad me
47. You make me give u this face >:{
48. Why?
49. 20
50. Diamond
51. Ty for forcing me to study
52. You dont, but you make me feel bad
53. My fingers are dying
54. Still need to mbate
55. You need the same plan as me
56. Im whispering
57. I like boobies
58. Big ones
59. I'm horrible.
60. Yet you're "lovely"
61. Yes!
62. Screw me?
63. #17
64. I want my neck kissed
65. By a person
66. By a guy
67. That counts you out.
68. Omgosh omgosh. I actually thought of 68 points.

69.69

70. Stop lying
71. No
72. Seriously
73. Why do
74. You
75. Bother with me
76. My parents 
77. Gave up ages ago
78. But they love me
79. Or 
80. So I 
81. Hope
82. Keep studying
83. I'm full
84. So is my mouth
85. I
86. Think this is pretty gay
87. But
88. Who cares
89. Don't you just
90. Love 
91. Me
93. You're lovely
94. Not
95. Really
96. Stupid
97. Head
98. Needs to 
99. Shave
100. I want you
101. Bad
102. If only you knew
103. It's quite
104. Sad 
105. Actually
106. Doesn't matter. 
106. You're probably the second closest thing to perfect. 
107. Me being one. 


THATS THE WHOLE LIST. I finished it last week, forgot to send it to you. 

:)

23/11/10

Jasmine is daaaa very sexxy

14/6/11

We are talking about electrons in Chem ;)

Watching soft porn in English - pretty
Much , u can see people having sensual sex and then the chicks boobies.

17/6/11

x^2+(y-x^(2/3))^2=1

<3



21/7/11

I LOVE YOU. 

I x^2+(y-x^(2/3))^2=1 JASmine

17/8/11

A poem by jasmine r sealtiel

Sitting in the library
I look outside
Seeing the rain, the cars
The people walking around 
Yet in my mind 
Is just one thing 
It seems to stand out
What is this figure
So tall and might
The thing that could change my life
Wandering how it would be
Without this thing 
In my sight

Looking back I feel
Joy and fear
Like a child eager to play
Though selfishness 
Fill me within
Because this thing
This thing is mine
I do not wish to share
But show off with pride

Time has passed
Like a baby soon to be born
Now crazy is how I feel
At the window
Again I stare
Thinking about this thing
Reminding me 
The luck I've been given
Now wanting to say
I love you Sumeet
I really do. 

20/8/11

I have my formal dress. It's in season apparently. 20/8/11 6.39 pm

He gave me flowers as well. Like Omgosh! 6.06am 

He asked me to the formal!!!!!!!! 16/8/11 - 6.05am

Having no twitter account is so weird. It's been like 5 days without it already! 9/8/11 - 7.54pm

Haven't talked to Sumeet much, at least I have been. He makes me feel better. 5:44

I've just been isolated from all social networking sites. Day 1-hallucinating already. 6/8/11- 5:43pm

I'm such a loser. 11:06

This is gay and boring, I can't believe I actually deleted twitter. RIP TWITTER ACCOUNT. 5/8/11-11:04pm

I think I just committed social suicide by deleting my twitter account. - 5/8/11-10:12pm

Sumeet - only for the Asian eyes of jasmine
30111993 ( wth that's not even a date)

6ft + a tiny bit more
6' + 1' (coz it's true) + 3' (coz ur tight)

Colour: green. Blue is nice too

Actress: Natalie portman, 

Actor: Adrian gernier, jeremy piven

Movie: 3 idiots, black, fightclub, pirates, oceans

Tv: scrubs, friends ( how you doinnnn ;), HIMYM ( Barney all the way), entourage

Music: fuck you, laid, America fuck yeah, dirty little secret, get back ( remember when u were like Sumeet hi5, then I was like hi5 borat style but u moved ur hand away and were like GET BACK muthrrfuker u don't know me like that), gives you hell, mockingbird, ass like that, book of love

Food: lamb, mudcake

Chocolate: Ferrero rocher, jasmine rocher

Pizza topping: meatlovers? I love meat - i don't like meat lovers? Lol weird

Roles: teacher, doctor, maid, school girl, blindfold

Sport: cricket, tennis, soccer, nrl, afl,

Dream: to be sexier than bob

Sportstar: Roger Federer, tendulkar

Shirt: M-L

Pants: M

Notes:
Doesn't talk much unless forced too. Enjoys excersing and engaging in physical activity (including get it on with jasmine). Lies often. Doesn't drink soft drink. Doesn't like Asians. Prefers pork over chicken. 

And 

And 

LOVES JASMINE BERY BERY VERY MUCH HEAAAAPS
also I kept snoozing ur alarm , coz i loved reading 'I love you sumeet'

:P

Jasmine profile 
By Sumeet 

160.9 - 5 ' 3"
Penis size: 12 x 10^-14 ( roughly an electron which she stole from Sumeet)

Fav scene: mum and daughters friend lesbian sexy time...erotic food tasting with some finger and pussy liking pie

Fav tv shows: gg ppg 90210 Neighbours popeye 

Fav movies : no strings attached , V for vagina , alladin, 

Role playscene: student, maid , teacher , blindfold with cuffs, bunny costume , 

Fav food: porn dumplings, fried chicken, spagetti, pancit, chocolate

Fav chocolate : max brenner, cadbury, hershays, 

Boobie size: 36 Bs or 12 B

Actress: portman , kunis, johanson, alba, 

Actor: kutcher, penn badgeley, Jake gyllenhall, guy from transformers , Adrian gernier James franco

Music: my boo, somebody to love, angel, 

Singers: usher, Justin bieber, Joe Jonas, 

29/8/11

You broke up with me, remember?  I wasn't even good enough to be your best friend. 

9/9/11

Sumeet loves you more

Jasmine is a slutty bob 

3/10/11

Sumeet. Just so you know if circumstances had been different I would have actually written you a message, actually I was going to write you two but then you told me not to so I didnt. Anyways I actually don't know where to behind with you, the beginning I guess? But that's already written down...in your book. Ahaha I should finish it up after HSC like make it full pro and get it professionally published then give it to you a few years later. But what can I say? Most of my amazing memories have been thanks to you. You really truly have made me happy in more ways than one and you've changed me for the better, kinda...more like your better but not future boys aha but that's okay, I'll have you to thank in the future when I'm not pregnant by some what's it called the one night stands yeah that. You, make my day, you're the reason I want to wake up everyday (unless I'm dreaming a good dream of you), you're the reason school wasn't such a bad place anymore and you're the reason why I'm always on msn because even though we're just chatting it still feels like I'm close to you. And sometimes when my whole world feels like it's a mess, you're the reason why I wanna keep going. You make me try and not give up, to strive for the highest...wait that's PHS. You made everything better for me before we were a couple (which lead to our being a couple) you made everything better when we were together and even now, when you have no obligation to do so, you repeatedly try your best to make me happy and be there for me. I couldn't ask anymore from you...and after all that we've gone through together I feel like there's always going to be a part of us that's connected because we share that bond (co ordinate covalent bond that is) which I think is something special and something we can never forget. And the sex, boy oh boy. You're gonna be a hard one to top. You raised the bar. I think I've written plenty for now. And to sum eet up. Lol yeah to sum it up I love you and even though you're not mt boyfriend anymore, you're still that guy to me. The one who I can rely on, the one I can trust, the one who can make me happy and most importantly the one who can satisfy my. And I know one day we will eventually get over each other but I'd like to think that were still good friends then, whether were in relationships or not. I DEMAND RESPECT DAMN IT! Lucky I didn't write you a message otherwise I woulda just kept going lol. But I'm always here for you, talk to me, msn me, call me, text me, + me, skype me, Facebook me, shout to me and I'll be there because (damn can't think of the phrase) something something something. 
Love always your sexybum, lazybum, bob chose me over you, gorgeous lol, ex, fwb and friend...jasmine :)

27/10/11

17 nov library
30 nov birthday T
8 dec plaza
15 dec pool
30 dec didn't meet
1 jan ;D
17 jan movie
22 jan library
27 jan bowling
2 feb plaza
9 feb shopping
11 feb swimming carnival
14 feb valentines day
16 feb library
17 feb scuola
18 feb study dayte
23 feb stomach bug ;D
29 apr boys bathroom
2 may girls bathroom ;D
4 may shittest shit ever
6 may break
11 may shopping
2 jun girls bathroom ;D
28 jul drama rooms
2 aug disabled toilets T
30 aug conference room T
2 sep rm8&17 ;D
6/9 sep my room T
13(300) sep room 10 T
19 sep drama storage room ;D
18 oct lab 5
19 oct drama room
24 oct room 13

It's all in the past now, I guess...