...Continued from Previous post:

Eamon Sullivan

Firstly my today was not that great. Maybe because in contrast with yeserday or maybe other reasons, or maybe I just feel crap and I'm seriously craving chocolate. Any reasons will do me just fine. So that's how my day went. Just one funny mention about Pat and Sandon. They're such idiots. At the bus stop they started throwing the basketball to each other and they tried to get each other's balls. Apparantly my mum saw Sukhman and Sumeet at the thing today and she likes em. Er... Of all of my friends that she has to be nice to..them ? HAHA, kidding. She said congrats btw.

So yesterday we woke up early to catch like a train a 6.30 or something like that and it was an express. We met Anavi and Sukhman there and at Sevo Himmat joined the club. It was funny on the train with just random talking and shit and as you can see on the pictures on the previous blog we looked like we were having fun. We got to Museum and got off and man was it packed. People everywhere, seriously. It was so easy to get lost. We found a spot and that's when everyone started stripping. Well more me. I was so embarrassed because Jasmine said it was fine to wear short shorts and so I wore short shorts and they were too short. EEEP. Afterwards we put our bags away and stuff as such and we were just in a circle talking to one another. Soon, the races were going to begin and we made our way to the starting lines and the parent's took us to th wrong one (the blue one) and like we had to cut through the crowd and climb up a wall (where Jasmine nearly got dropped on by this chick) and made our way to the yellow one only to find out that it was the Red/Green one. So we continued our journey and soon we made it to the yellow starting points and that's where we lost Sukhman. He's such a dumbass. Seriously. We told him we're in front of the church (there's only one church) doesn't come to us so he says he's under the traffic lights (there's a like 10 of 'em) and yeah. We ended up finding him, which was such a shame really. When we were finally all together we went to the starting place and the thing gunned. Started ? Yeah. And we ran, kinda. It was crowded for a while so it was kinda hard to get through the people. And my shirt kept rising up so I slowed down. I also began to get tired. In the end I just super slowed down. Anavi's nice though. She stayed behind and ran with me the whole way (not actualy run, but yeahh). We saw Jasmine and Himmat later on and they too ran away but we didn't mind. I kinda did because I didn't want Anavi to have a slow time because she wanted to stay and run with me. I'm not going to go through every detail of the run. Just like the main events. The running, then stopping then pouring water over ourselves and her jellybeans, D&M moments, the 'nearly' crying and Call MUM. Everything was good. And we musn't forget the I'm sorrys. There must've been a few hundred of those. HAHA. Overall it was pretty good. I just feel really bad that shehad to stay and run with me. I know she would have done better if she just ran off without me but she wanted to stay so I'm grateful for that. Ooh, and the motivations. HAHA couldn't forget those. In the end I just wanted to run to the beach and the last kilometre was the worst. I couldn't even run the whole thing without being in super pain.

The beach was awesome but like I could hardly walk. I got free food from CityRail even though I'm not part of that group well technically I am but yeah. Then playing on the sand and in the water. It was a shame no one wanted to go dip in the water so I ended up not doing that. Then we went back on the sand. Redbull. Harry and the sand getting on everyone. The memorable memorial thingo on the sand by Jasmine. Himmat trying to bury the chair. It was all good. Soon it was going to end and we made our was to the bus depot and just merged into the line and went to St James. Half got on and half didn't. Thanks to Harry of course. (ha love that kid) And yeah. Since then the group just became half. At Cenral got ice cream and started talking to Jasmine, Anavi and *mindblank* can't think of her name atm. When I do I'll write it randomly. Yeah. It was funny cause she teased Harry and bribed him and everything. And then after an hour or so on the train we got to Penrith where I got a call from my dad saying he's coming to pick me up. He has such good timing and I love/hate it at the same time. So that would have to be the worst part of my day. I was so looking forward to that shower too. Hehe. *it's GUDDU.

more pictures:

Giving Up

I’ve been lying to myself. I'm trying to show myself that I'm happy. The truth is I am happy but there’s times when I just want to cry because I know that something isn’t right and that I don’t really have what I want. But on that basis not everyone gets what they want. There’s just not balance in that. So, the reason I wanted to talk about this was because I saw Bilal today. Really, yeah. He was one of my classmates at my old school and I once had a thing for me. At first I didn’t think that I liked him and that I'm just a stupid little girl. But now that I'm older and more mature and realising my true feelings towards others I kinda miss him. We weren’t close. Well at one point we were. Me, Samantha, Tyler and Bilal. We were a group that was happy and hung around each other at lunchtime and played handball. Those good old days. But as the years passed I began focusing on my studies, Tyler & Bilal and Samantha on whatever she was doing and we seemed to just separate. Thinking about it just makes me want to cry. I'm so sad (the stupid, lame, sad). Back to the story. In year 5 or maybe 6 I had a crush on him or liked him whichever one and in year 5 was the year I started going down. The people whom I hung around were very influential and they were the so-called ‘popular’ group and I was part of that. And so I liked him. But because of my genius ability he treated me like a calculator and whenever he saw me he would always ask me multiplication questions which I found annoying but what can I do. So yeah. I don’t know. The same thing still happens to me. I'm still the same unwanted girl except now I'm not even the smart one. I don’t have any traits that people like; even my laugh is becoming more and more hideous as days pass. I think it might be your fault. Not just you but a lot of you put together. All of you have impacted on so many parts of my life which has turned me into who I am now. Confused about who I am and always doubting every decision I make because of the fear of what you did to me occurring again. And you know what it hurts. Bad. I'm not gonna listen to what anyone says. I know that I'm not the best person in the world nor am I the prettiest and I'm quite sure that I'm overweight and if you are going to tell me that I'm not overweight and it’s just baby fat or muscle then FUCK off. I don’t give a fuck what you think because I know the truth and it’s time for me to accept who I really am and see me as me without pretending to be anyone else and try so hard to fit in with everyone else even though I know that I'm the odd one out. The one who’s always quiet because she doesn’t belong. I don’t like that. I don’t like being excluded. Nor do I like being included because you feel sorry for me or because you have to. I just want to fit in with people who are there. I just want one person who I can rely on and is HERE in Australia. I know that if I was in Philippines life would be a blast because I have family and friends there and we had the money too. AND for fuck’s sake people I'm not fucking rich. Gosh. I can’t even save money. The money I have, I have to work for that and I'm annoyed now. This was just meant to be a heartfelt blog and now it’s turned into something else. IT’S YOU FUCKING FAULT. Why did you have to exist in my life?

Today was late. I don’t like being late very much. Now that I'm in SRC and actually got what I wanted I don’t want it to be thrown away because of the bus driver. It’s not fair. The day was rather short really. Maths, well it was maths. No ANGEL either, so I was quite disappointed. Commerce on the other hand, well it was boring too. But the good thing is that for once I understood what the lesson was about, the first time in a long time. And that made me feel proud. At lunchtime it was funny because Xu was annoying us and he was trying to kick the ball and he failed. Literally. I, Jasmine, the retard who just sucks at soccer, is better than Xu. Woah huh. It was hilarious. Sport was afterwards which was the same as last week. Full of fun and laughter. I can’t help it. I just laugh at the most random things and I don’t like it. It’s actually really annoying. Highlights were teasing Jasmine and Himmat’s goals, Jasmine’s headbutt ? I forgot what it was called. I'm pretty sure is not that. The thing you do when you hit the ball with your head. Uhm playing Around the World with Anavi which we didn’t actually finish, the freak bus which started vibrating and freaked me out (and made me look like a super idiot because I jumped out of my seat), my REALLY REALLY REALLY lame call about how I’ve made so many fail calls to Sukhman and I was like something about calling him on his phone. Basically it was just that bad. Then we got back to school and I decided that I wanted to go home early and walked really fast and still managed to miss the train as I have been doing a lot lately (the miss the train part) so I went back to the plaza and sat there with Jasmine and Himmat. Oooh, I showed them my arm right and Himmat was like woah that’s huge and he was like arm wrestle and he said it feels like I'm vs.ing a tank guy and I stopped and looked at his arm cause they were huge too and then I realised that he just called me a guy and had a mini go at him and then I slapped my head and then he and jasmine made fun of that. He then began to mock me and it was funny shit. Jasmine² couldn’t stop laughing and it was just funny. We went to the station and we ran up the stairs. Wow, was I in pain. But yeah, now I'm home so it’s all good. I'm being a good girl and helping my mum because I have to make up for tomorrow and I know what I gonna wear. Kinda.

At the moment it feels like I can relate to the song I Hate That I Love You & Been Waiting. I don’t know why but whatever right. HAHA. One last thing:

I'm over you, so get over yourself.

Arrivederci.

Onions

I fell asleep. When I woke up I thought it was Friday. How embarassing.

Today was pretty good day. Careers Market. Seriously I don't know why I needed to get so much things but whatever. I have a pile of books now which I plan to read on later when I don't get headaches from reading.

Watch this:

http://vimeo.com/5375317



Being with you makes me happy.

A Real Blog Post

Ok, my previous blog posts have been randomly not making sense. Maybe that's because I've been lazy and I obviously can't be bothered to do so. I just wanted to say a few things about today and hopefully after that I can go do some other thing which is more fun than wasting my time on the computer. Finish watching 'The Nanny Diaries' maybe. So here's how my day went.

I woke up and I just felt horrible. All grogy and everything, although I don't think that was the right word to use, oh well it sounds good anyway. It was damn cold this morning and I was literally freezing. Even my own breath couldn't keep me warm anymore. I seriously need someone else to keep me warm now, if you know what I mean. HAHA, no but it was cold because of that wind thingo. First period was maths. Ivy was doing work because of me and because I wouldn't talk to her. Well I would have but everyone was going too fast with their work so I slowed down they ended up giving up. LOL, so in the end Ivy decided to give up too. Maths was uberly fun except the teacher was really really really REALLY random, like it was just odd. Recess, freezing and a thousand thoughts went through my head. Anyways science comp during period 2 so I didn't go to Commerce and get my mark, which I knew was going to be low anyway but whatever. I stuffed that comp because I just couldn't be bothered and a massive headache seriously. It was not nice. So that's basically a fail. Then afterwards I had to get my commerce mark back which wasn't very good for my standards but I wasn't in the mood to mourn my failure, even though it wasn't really a fail esp. compared to others so I should be happy and I guess I am so people don't get angry at me. Sport, was not particularly fun. A massive let down actually. I just wasn't feeling it today and someone had to ruin the mood for me as well. Not gonna mention any names but it's probably quite obvious who it was anyway. At least I get a break from everyone next week. A whole week man. Isn't that exciting. Damn, I just realised something, and now I'm quite sad about it.

Well, who cares about that. Went to plaza afterwards after planning to get a few things, ended up only getting like one or two of them. One of them is the following pictures. Is it nice? Please say it is, well tell me the truth actually.

And the following picture is a picture of my very messy table I took a picture of while taking a picture of moì. And also talking to PJ at the same time. I'm such an awesome multi-tasker.

continue later.

and apparantly, I'm pretty. HMMM..