Lack of Significance

So I've just had two English exams and a Chemistry exams so I thought I'd put my great english skills to use on this blog. Also exams are past so why is there a need to even talk about it. Basically I'm home right now and I have 3 days off school and I am contemplating on whethere I should study or not and how much will it really entertain me and will I actually be learning studying or wasting time studying. So with that in mind I'm simply deduced the possibilities and decided that I would just waste my time altogether because a forensic chemist it's my job to find evidence then deduce it so I can find if I'm guilty or not. Aha I sound so lame, on top of that it didn't even make sense one bit.


I love this jump setion thing, or whatever it's called. I think jump break. Anyways. Talk about a shitty week. Yeah that pretty much sums it up. I had so much to say before logging on to write another useless blog but now I'm too lazy to even rant or complain or just say what went on in the week... Give it 5 minutes and I'll be bothered again. (Current time: 4.41pm)

LOL (Current time: 4.42pm) That didn't even take me 5 minutes, who cares. I was going on about how shitty my week was because of my shitty expectations. OR what some people would say are high expectations. I don't really think you can call it high expectations because I don't know maybe it's just the behaviour of the poeple within society are meant to be and we're just defying it by going against it and not doing as we're expected? I think, know I'm pretty sure I've confused myself now but like this week has been really stressful. Like, stressful. Coming from me. From the person who rarely stresses. Like I've actually broken time before, DURING and after exams because I feel like the pressure is just mounting down and falling on me. I'm not use to this. I guess it's my fault by not preparing myself for this but it's not the actual studying, it's the thought of failing and being compared to others. Like, I'm actually glad my parents are my parents, they don't care how bad I do as long as I'm not failing OR I'm like not coming last, which was me in year 11 and caused them to lose their own hairs. But yeah they're pretty carefree about that, they're not who I'm worried about. I'm more concerned with my so called peers and they're competitiveness. YEAH, I get it. It's HSC. We all want a high rank but you don't have to be so I don't know, judgemental and constantly comparing each other. Like that's just wrong. But I guess smart people are too stupid to see that it's not all about the marks. I mean, I might be ignorant, rude, selfish and dumb but I know how things really work. I just refuse to have to involve myself into other's situations where it may cause them to hurt or be more stressed or whatver the fuck could be wrong with them. I actually don't know where all this is coming from but it doesn't matter because it feeeeeels sooo goood. Ahaha. Yeah so exams. Stresssing me. Like crazy. Everyone else is stresssed too. I totally get it. I just wish I had someone to share how I feel with or like I guess it's nice to relax by myself but sometiems you just want someoen else there with you. Maybe I'm just weird. Who knows...

Lately I've noticed that a lot of people are know are showing their true colours more. In the sense that I don't actually know how to explain it but you get the jist of it. Moving onto another topic, I've noticed my importance in today's society, and to simplify this I've put it into a simple diagram. If you do not understand the diagram then LOL.

1. Transcendental Being
2. Family.
3. Education
4. Frienships
5. Nation
6. Money
7. Sleep
8. Sex
and at number 9. me.

Yeah, so that's where I've decided I belong and where I think people most place me in because I don't see any reason why I'd be any higher on that list anyway. It's nice to know how important I really am in people's lives.

So along with the boredome writing of this blog and playing games on iPod (PJ, you should totally get iSlash, although it's $0.99, not that that's a great amount it's a pretty fun game, although I suggest you get it after your exams), I also decided to take pictures of myself. Because I've noticed that whenever I study on my bed, I always get distracted by my reflection in the mirror and can't help but check myself out or play with my hair. I actually did that last night. Not only did I straighten it, I also put it into a (really crappy) bow hairstyle which you will see in the picture. And so I took many pictures of myself as you will see if you scroll down...now.

me the other night, I think I was pretty high,

although I did consume alcohol it wasn't a significant amount

and could not have gotten me drunk...

maybe from all the sugar I've been eating.

me.

me again.

lol me, not looking.

I moved like less than 20 degree angle

and the lighting changes dramatically

LOL

my big asian eyes

okay lol, me, but like yuck LOL

So I think that's all from me right now. Oh wait, not yet. I was reading a book the other night and I thought what the guy said was really nice, I actually took a screenshot (on my iPod) but I'm too lazy to upload BUT I'm bothered to type it so here it is:

"I've never felt like this before. I want to lie beside you and just listen to you breathe. When I've had a shitty day, I want to come home to you and lay my head in your lap and feel your hands on my face. And when you've had a shitty day and it feels like one more straw is gonna break your back, I want to be there to carry the load for you. I want you to tell me your darkest fears, and be able to tell you mine."

So I thought that was actually really sweet and proly something I'm never going to hear but it's okay because there's hundreds of books and I can just read it over and over again and pretend it's me they're talking about. Shit like that always seem to make me smile and teary (though it's not that hard to make me cry). Yes, finally I'm actually done now. Looking forward to the weekend filled with PMS-ing and Mathematics and Engineering revision all in one. I'm actually gonna cram religion today so at least I get some form of study completed and not a complete failure.

Laters fellow bloggers. And PJ, if you read that while in the midst of trials, I'm sooooooo sorry for distracting you. Can't wait to catch up and talk to you again at the bus bay :)

LOL I'm such a fool for not realizing sooner. LOLOLOLOLOLOL.