This is what I get for telling someone I like them. The feeling of unworthiness and just not good enough. Do I not deserve to be happy? What did I do wrong to receive this? Sometimes I wish that I never went to Australia. Now I have double the problems I had before. At least I expected it, but everytime I read it and think about it...I still have the same reaction that same feeling of being unwanted.
I know what it reminds me of now. You know how in movies, just before people die they say their life flashes before them. This is similar to what is happening to me. All those good times we had, I keep seeing it and it just makes me sad becaseu I know I've ruined that and I also know that things won't be the same ever again. Now matter how hard he tries or anyone else because I know how stubborn I am.
This is the first thing that comes to mind: shit. Seriously, there's no point in those (i forgot) now. He was the reason I could stay happy and stay normal but without him there's nothing that can keep me together and you know how stupid I feel now very. I need a new blog. People know thise one and anyone can read it. Gosh! I want to cry. I am sad. I really am and I just want to cry. And I'm not ok. Just, just don't ask me why. Aaargh. Now I want to scream. On top of all that I'm fat and that doesn't help anything. Aaargh. Stupid me. I'm a fat loser who always get rejected by everyone. I mean I don't mind where I am now but I'm not happy. Not completely anway. I know that people can't have everything they want but I would sacri... No, I wouldn't because I know I still wouldn't get what I want. I should just stop wasting my time.
I am now alone, and that I'm sure of.
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