Child

Sometimes I wonder if your age really is just a number. I am over 18 now so you'd think that I would begin to start acting like an adult yet my actions do not display this. Why I even allow myself to act like this is something I constantly ponder on.

Black Party Cruise '12

That picture just emphasizes how much of a child I already look on the outside. Eh whatever. Onto more important matters, my behaviour that evening was not very appropriate, nor was my clothing. I acted like a spoilt brat that looked like a slut.

Like I said whatever. Just a few things bugging me though. I have yet to let go of the one person who has just entered my life and made it amazing but I think you've ran out of fuel and all the excitement is gone. That and I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to get jealous. Of not just all the girls but everything and everyone else. I'd like to just blame you to make my life so my easier and that way it wouldn't hurt me so much and it gives me an excuse to not exactly kick you out of my life but rather...make you an acquaintance rather than a friend although some may say that it's too late for that now. I guess I would agree with them but I can still try because my feelings are at stake. And for some reason my feelings seem to have an effect on my entire life. Blabbing on about nothing.

I'm trying so hard to make this blog sound more like a blog but it's really hard when you're constantly...when I'M constantly thinking about life and everything about it. I just want things to be simple and easy. But a person once said to me (actually everyone has) Life isn't easy. Well no shieeeet.

Worst part, can't even party to get over it.

And I'm a party girl.

Or so I like to call myself.

But I do live up to that name, most of the time.

Fifty Shades

So at the moment, I've been reading Fifty Shades of Grey to conform with society. Actually I wasn't intending to do so it just so happens that everyone has been talking about it and I simply wanted to know what the hype was all about. So I wiki-ed it. And under the category Genre it had erotic fiction. Then I was in. Personally I think that the book is alright. It's written well, but for me the main reason I AM reading it is for the erotic fiction part. Maybe the romance, which at the moment lacks thereof so yes, just the erotic fiction.

Over the past weeks, or even months since I've written heaps of major, not really have occured and as much as I would love to go in detail I've lost the bother to do so. Instead I will upload pictures from these events.

Celebrating Tin's 18th :D

First time at Zumbo Dessert Train ♥

Parent's 20th Anniversary

Winning big for a first time gambler :P

Birthday week with closest friends.

Clubbing for my 19th & Tin's 18th

First froyo @ Noggi with a groupi!

Jasmine^2

End of first ever uni exams!

Ausralia vs. New Zealand: European Handball

Tita Mayet's 50th Birthday

Chilling the best biatch

Black Party Cruise '12

Toohey's Open Day

As you can see, it's been pretty eventful and I like that. I also got to sleepover a guy's house for the first time in my life ever! Although it just lead to disappointment. Or more that there was way too much hype for such miniscule thing. Meh, I liked it.

That's all...for now.

Cross Elasticity of Demand

Just when I thought I've finally turned over a new leaf, someone keeps blowing me over and have to start all over again...

I have this odd feeling that I'm struggling to move forward with my life. I don't know what's keeping me back. I've let go of all the things that I thought would be holding me back. I've made new friends, tried new things, even changed some of my priorities. Yet for some reason I just cannot enjoy my own life. It's not that I don't enjoy it, there are just some moments where I feel I'm completely alone and no one, I mean no one in this world could care what is going on with me let alone just give me the space I need or at least cut me some slack and let me deal with me own problems or something along the lines of that.

Uni I think, for me socially I'm getting there. I thought I'd never make friends, but I've managed to and made more and I've been talking and hanging out with them which is really fun cause I really like that. But the actual education part of uni, I think I've just been taking it too easy and not taking it seriously and which is probably why I'm failing. Yeah, failing. The word itself is daunting but actual seeing that I've failed assignments and exams, it's kinda just upsetting. It's the one thing that I don't like to happen and it's happened to me so many times already. But of course I deal with it myself because frankly I don't think there's really anyone I could talk to about this who would actually seem sincere nor care about what is going on in my life. And to top that, uni is the least of my problems. There are other things going on at home and with family that I just can't bear to mention because what's the point.

I keep asking myself, What is life? So really, tell me, what is it? Is it where someone who thinks theyre happy and fine and alright suddenly goes through struggle when she thought she's gone through struggle already? Okay maybe I'm just exaggerating a little...alot. I've always told myself that there are people worst off than me and that's cause there is. I consider myself to be extremely lucky, but sometimes I just feel like being selfish sometimes and you know I want people's attentions. And when I do they're rare occassions.

This time around, I'd like it to be on my birthday. And if people aren't going to cooperate with what I want on my birthday, well fcky'all. Im do whatever I want because I really don't care anymore, on my birthday that is. There's not much hype to it either, considering last year I was so excited to turn 18 and now, a year later, it's kinda daunting me that I'm turning 19 already. Soon I'll be 20 and will no longer be considered a teen, especially by my cousins and I'll have to start acting like an adult. Which I've been trying to lately, it's just hard when people continually treat you like a child, which is fun for a while but you kinda get over it.

For someone who has to do two assignments, I rant. A lot.


Since my last post I've:

Bought myself a new watch,

Coloured/Cut my hair,

and made friendship bracelets for my non-existant friends.

Title?

I've written so many posts that I don't know what to use as the title anymore. Goes to show, I really, do not have a life. Actually that has changed.

Amazing? Yeah. I have a uni life now and a work life. And I have created myself a new network of friends whom I seem to get along with, surprisingly. All this is kinda overwhelming and at the same time makes me really happy because for once I know that I actually do belong somewhere. I'm just making myself seem like a sad piece of shie but hey what can I do? I've made positive changes in my life, for once and made KINDA better decisions as well.

There's not really much to go on. I've cut off some communication with some peopole while others have cut theirs with me. I guess I can't really do anything about it except accept the changes in life because it's fate, destiny, stupidity, I really have no explanation for it. However, there are still times when I begin to fill up with sadness and emotion and it gets hard to hold back sometime so I cry. Simplest solution.

Onto brighter and better things, I went clubbing the other night. That's when I noticed the changes and the positive impact it has had on me and right now all I can remember is me smiling throughout the whole night, with no worries, no problems. And the best part I had the chance to spend the whole evening and even morning with possibly friends whom I will have for life.

To finish off, I'm just gonna say that I'm thankful for all the good things that have occurred to me, even the bad because without any of this, I wouldn't be where I'm at right now. Everything would be different and the chances of it being better would be the same as being worse than it is which is not bad at all. Whatever, I'm just blabbering.

new friends.

sexy babes ;D

University

So Uni has started and it's been okay, I suppose. Can't really complain...

I will, however complain about two guys.

1. I'm over you, you're in the past. Yet for some reason, I still cry because of you.
2. LOL, we're not together but people think we're a couple. Maybe you should stop acting like we're a couple even if you don't mean to, THAT and we need to stop seeing each other every other day. TOO MUCH LOL

That's all. Had a pretty good February though. I'm glad. Added the picture cause I thought it'd be nice.  ♥

Orange

Oh gosh, the things that have happened in this new year. It just seems so overwhelming and in my mind kinda hectic although it wasn't really. All the awkward moments, the teasing, the laughter. I am unbelievably happy most of the time and when I am unhappy someone manages to turn the frown upside down.

I looked pretty good the other night, mainly cause I knew what was going down but still, unfortunately I didn't even take JUST ONE picture to record it but it was all for the sake of a friend. I'm nicer now too. How shocking!

And a photo of the new jasmine. Not really, I still look teh same but dyed the tips of my hair. I'm much skillful now too.

EFF EM EL

Last night was just not great.
I have bad luck when it comes to males.