Wow

A huge part of me is so excited to leave. The other I just want to kill so I have no worries and can leave this school happy and with no regrets.

It' nearly over

Personally, I can actually say that at the end of this year I'll be able to start over and become the person I want to be, the good person I want to be. I guess it's upsetting leaving so many people behind but then if I think about it, the future will have great opportunities for me (or so I hope) and there's no point being glum in something that occurs naturally in life, having to leave people behind but meeting new and different people.

What I'm really trying to say is, I should stop crying because there's no point anymore, there's no point crying over the same thing especially since there's other things in life that can be done instead of doing such sad things.

Uh

I feel pathetic.
I feel like a loser.
I can't control my emotions.
I can't hold back.

I don't know what to do.
It's like I'm lost.

It hurts.

Reality

I keep telling myself that he's not mine anymore, but it just makes everything worse.

I feel so empty

Who knew a lot could happen in just a little over a week. I don't know how to else to say this nor do I want to say this. I don't even know what to do, or say, or THINK. I'm confused to the max and I've lost all sense to do or want anything. I've been blinded and hurt yet I feel guilt within me. Everything's changed and for once I have no control over anything.

I feel useless.

Apology is Not Good Enough

I am unbelievable, yet believable. 

Lol, that was lame but my point is I'm a disgrace and I don't deserve anything good that's been given to me, because all of it is a gift. I don't understand how someone like me, who was taught to grow up to be a pure, chaste young lady turned out to be who I am right now. I've lost my values and morals and I've let loose on everything that I believe in. I have little belief in the things around me. I don't know why but it's insane. I'm insane. I wouldn't be surprised if I end up in a mental hospital one day.

Us

I feel like crying.

No, I don't feel like crying. I feel like being with Sumeet right now. The past week has been pretty shit and empty, mainly because he wasn't there and made me feel complete. Yeah, as lame as it sounds, he truly does complete me, is what I think anyway.