Cross Elasticity of Demand

Just when I thought I've finally turned over a new leaf, someone keeps blowing me over and have to start all over again...

I have this odd feeling that I'm struggling to move forward with my life. I don't know what's keeping me back. I've let go of all the things that I thought would be holding me back. I've made new friends, tried new things, even changed some of my priorities. Yet for some reason I just cannot enjoy my own life. It's not that I don't enjoy it, there are just some moments where I feel I'm completely alone and no one, I mean no one in this world could care what is going on with me let alone just give me the space I need or at least cut me some slack and let me deal with me own problems or something along the lines of that.

Uni I think, for me socially I'm getting there. I thought I'd never make friends, but I've managed to and made more and I've been talking and hanging out with them which is really fun cause I really like that. But the actual education part of uni, I think I've just been taking it too easy and not taking it seriously and which is probably why I'm failing. Yeah, failing. The word itself is daunting but actual seeing that I've failed assignments and exams, it's kinda just upsetting. It's the one thing that I don't like to happen and it's happened to me so many times already. But of course I deal with it myself because frankly I don't think there's really anyone I could talk to about this who would actually seem sincere nor care about what is going on in my life. And to top that, uni is the least of my problems. There are other things going on at home and with family that I just can't bear to mention because what's the point.

I keep asking myself, What is life? So really, tell me, what is it? Is it where someone who thinks theyre happy and fine and alright suddenly goes through struggle when she thought she's gone through struggle already? Okay maybe I'm just exaggerating a little...alot. I've always told myself that there are people worst off than me and that's cause there is. I consider myself to be extremely lucky, but sometimes I just feel like being selfish sometimes and you know I want people's attentions. And when I do they're rare occassions.

This time around, I'd like it to be on my birthday. And if people aren't going to cooperate with what I want on my birthday, well fcky'all. Im do whatever I want because I really don't care anymore, on my birthday that is. There's not much hype to it either, considering last year I was so excited to turn 18 and now, a year later, it's kinda daunting me that I'm turning 19 already. Soon I'll be 20 and will no longer be considered a teen, especially by my cousins and I'll have to start acting like an adult. Which I've been trying to lately, it's just hard when people continually treat you like a child, which is fun for a while but you kinda get over it.

For someone who has to do two assignments, I rant. A lot.


Since my last post I've:

Bought myself a new watch,

Coloured/Cut my hair,

and made friendship bracelets for my non-existant friends.

Title?

I've written so many posts that I don't know what to use as the title anymore. Goes to show, I really, do not have a life. Actually that has changed.

Amazing? Yeah. I have a uni life now and a work life. And I have created myself a new network of friends whom I seem to get along with, surprisingly. All this is kinda overwhelming and at the same time makes me really happy because for once I know that I actually do belong somewhere. I'm just making myself seem like a sad piece of shie but hey what can I do? I've made positive changes in my life, for once and made KINDA better decisions as well.

There's not really much to go on. I've cut off some communication with some peopole while others have cut theirs with me. I guess I can't really do anything about it except accept the changes in life because it's fate, destiny, stupidity, I really have no explanation for it. However, there are still times when I begin to fill up with sadness and emotion and it gets hard to hold back sometime so I cry. Simplest solution.

Onto brighter and better things, I went clubbing the other night. That's when I noticed the changes and the positive impact it has had on me and right now all I can remember is me smiling throughout the whole night, with no worries, no problems. And the best part I had the chance to spend the whole evening and even morning with possibly friends whom I will have for life.

To finish off, I'm just gonna say that I'm thankful for all the good things that have occurred to me, even the bad because without any of this, I wouldn't be where I'm at right now. Everything would be different and the chances of it being better would be the same as being worse than it is which is not bad at all. Whatever, I'm just blabbering.

new friends.

sexy babes ;D

University

So Uni has started and it's been okay, I suppose. Can't really complain...

I will, however complain about two guys.

1. I'm over you, you're in the past. Yet for some reason, I still cry because of you.
2. LOL, we're not together but people think we're a couple. Maybe you should stop acting like we're a couple even if you don't mean to, THAT and we need to stop seeing each other every other day. TOO MUCH LOL

That's all. Had a pretty good February though. I'm glad. Added the picture cause I thought it'd be nice.  ♥

Orange

Oh gosh, the things that have happened in this new year. It just seems so overwhelming and in my mind kinda hectic although it wasn't really. All the awkward moments, the teasing, the laughter. I am unbelievably happy most of the time and when I am unhappy someone manages to turn the frown upside down.

I looked pretty good the other night, mainly cause I knew what was going down but still, unfortunately I didn't even take JUST ONE picture to record it but it was all for the sake of a friend. I'm nicer now too. How shocking!

And a photo of the new jasmine. Not really, I still look teh same but dyed the tips of my hair. I'm much skillful now too.

EFF EM EL

Last night was just not great.
I have bad luck when it comes to males.

2012

BRING IT ON

What A Wonderful World

Had a pretty hectic weekend and following days after that just because of the new people which I have added into my hopeless and uneventful life. I've been feeling pretty good and I did something last week which I thought I was ready for and I was, the reaction just wasn't what I had expected but the fact that I was able to just let it go without feeling overwhelmed or traumatised just meant that I've begun to move forward and blah blah. Anyways onto better things went out on Saturday night started party on Sunday midnight LOL and basically made myself new friends who are wonderful and lovely and awesome and hopefully don't actually hate me LOL.