PMS

It's that time of the month again.

I'm a real bad ass. I make everyone cry, I even make myself cry. I don't know how I do it, and it's not even intentional, yet I'm so good at it. Another talent of mine that I've discovered. I constantly find myself bitching about people in my head and the worst part is, I'm not even bitching to anyone. I have no friends. Although I kinda like it this way because it is so much easier. Yes, everything I've done is to make my life easier, because I'm lazy like that.

I think I also blame others for things I know I've done wrong. Lol, jk. I wouldn't do that. To strain myself from hurting others and making them believe that they've done anything wrong I just keep to myself and don't say anything. Mainly because I don't really want to start anything, knowing that it won't be worth all the time wasting and because people's feelings are involved. The bad thing is, when I do keep things to myself I'm the one being affected. I constantly find myself thinking and just not focusing because I have so many things running through my mind and sometimes I guess that's why I just want to be left alone, so I can sort through my problems.

My mind is all over the place right now and I have no idea what I'm going on about. So like on the brighter side, my birthday is fast approaching and I'm super excited because I've waited 18 years for this day, haha, get it. And I finally get the freedom I want. I just hope people remember that it's my birthday and hopefully I get to spend part of the that special moment of my life with them. I know it's going to be such an insignificant for everyone else but I just want it to be the perfect day spent however I want. No party just partying, with people I care about and people who know how to have fun, because we don't want no party poopers. And I get to fucking drink, because I haven't yet. LOL. That and because I'm adult it gives me more freedom and, and I really won't have to care about what others say.

MAN, if only I could shut out the people I don't like. If I could, I would be so freakin' happy, but we all know that's impossible unless I was part of F4 hahaha. But yeah. I need to take advantage of my boyfriend man. He gets my so angry and makes me cry so much, I need to use that against him and make him my slave. Gosh, I miss that guy and the times when it's only just us two and no one getting in our way, things we're definitely so much nicer. But far out, parents, seriously, which brings me to my next point Tminus 46 days till D-day, which is the day I plan on telling my parents that I have a boyfriend, WHICH is also the day I turn 18 Man that's gonna be a full on day. I've also checked my assesment calendar, that's a full on week, so it's gonna be HECTIC hahah that guy so fucking hilarious; yeah.

Got nothing else to say so laters bychezzzz

Indifferent

Today was cross country. Nothing great, so why do I have so much to talk about?

That was a joke. Recently I haven't really had much to say, well because I've just decided to not care about things and let life run its course. Maybe also, let people do what they want and just stay out of their lives and try straight mine out so I can live the life that I've wanted. Anyways today I kinda got to spend time with my boyfriend, not really a big deal. Just sometimes I feel like we don't spend enough time and I feel underappreactiated, WHICH IS COMPLETELY NOT TRUE because he makes me feel so special and I know how much he cares for me whihc is why I'm oh so stupid. So I guess today was pretty nice. Also I talked to people/PERSON that was really nice to talk to and I FINALLY GOT TO HAVE LOVELY chat with PJ even though it was only for a few minutes. Talking to her kinda just unstresses me.

OOOH, yeah we got out maths results back. I don't really want to complain about it or anything really. I passed but eh, I just hope I don't disappoint my parents or let them down. I want to make them proud to have a daughter LIKE ME and yeah. I was glad that my bunny was there. He helped me get through it and stuff and gosh I felt so stupid getting that marked knowing that he's my boyfriend doing very well, while I'm doing not so very well.

Yeah, as you can probably tell my writing is more horrible than usual today so I shall leave it at that for today, laters bychezzz.

Benzyl Ethanoate

I will write more, just not right now.

xoxo
Not gossip girl.

What, Again

I'm getting that feeling again. That horrible feeling that makes me think horrible thing. I'm also getting jealous. I wish I'd spent the day more productively. Instead I sat down doing nothing but eat, although that was actually pretty relaxing. Except, I don't know if I can handle it anymore. Being away for this long making no contact whatsoever, it makes me wanna cry but I'm too lazy for that, ahhaah. This long weekend has been the shittest and it just seems to go on forever. I'm bored shitless and I don't have anything to do. And tomorrow I have to go to a family lunch where I will spend my time pretending like I care what goes around me when I know that no one really cares if I was there or not. Whatever.

I love Kat's hair. It's so awesome.

PLEASE GO AWAY

laters bychezzz

Long Weekend

Uhh, this long weekend is so bad. I'm not doing anything. I finished cleaning my room this morning. It didn't even take me the whole day. By lunch time I was finished and was eating lunch. And then I read some manga while watching Imagine Me and You which had lesbian chicks which I thought was cute and nice that people could accept that. Then around two started watching my favourite soap and soon realised I fell asleep. Or more like I fell into a trance where I knew what I was doing but I just couldnt control myself. Hahah, that makes no sense at all but whatever.

My weekends now empty. I'd made so many plans yesterday one for pretty much everyday of this extended weekened that I had, now all ruined and I'm having the most shitty time ever. Well not really I'm just chillaxing and stuff but still. I wanted to spend money and eat food all day...not that I haven't been doing that already. But the main thing is I made plan with friends and I cancelled. I hate it when that happens to me so I hate it when I do it to them. It's not like I wanted to. Family and stuff, don't really want to get into it because I can't find anyway of making it interesting to read. Not that this blog is even any interesting, which is a shame.

Blogspot is a lot better than Tumblr, this of course is a personal opinion because, well it's my opinion, duh. My reason for this is simple. I like writing about nonsense and nothingness and expressing what I truly feel. I guess you can do that on Tumblr too but sometimes it just feels like your just posting pictures that other people have already seen and it gets so repetitive and boring. Plus as much as pictures may be interesting and can say a thousand words, oh this is what I told my boyfriend: A picture can have a thousand words, but Jasmine has a million more. I don't know if he read that or found that the least bit funny but I thought it would be a sweet thing to say, again a personal opinion.

I really want to do something. I'm not even going out tomorrow. I don't want to clean because that's gonna take me like what, a few minutes and then what after. I'm just gonna be bored again. Oh, I've realised that lately I've well not enjoyed but I like it better when everything's clean and neat. I'm not a neat freak but I think I might be turning into my dad. I'm growing into his cleaning habits which is quite odd because I use to be so close to living in a pig sty. I guess it's not that much of a problem. At least I'm clean and I'm no a dirty, dirty girl. Ha, yes I just had to put that okay.

To think that I couldn't write that much today, I've written quite a fair bit, yet again. Before I forget, RIP Elizabeth Taylor. I haven't watched many of your movies but I really liked the movie Taming of the Shrew where you played Katherina. Yeah, I really liked that. You had a great lifetime. I wish I could live a great lifetime too but of course in my own way. You really are a great person.

No more writing. Glad to hear from my that boy, whom I still haven't met. Far out, whatever he does though he's just so funny and nice and caring and why does he keep calling me cute when he too hasn't seen me because I know one thing for sure, my personality ain't nowhere near cute. Nothing about me is cute. I'm a sophisticated, classy, edible woman.

:)

laters bychezzz

Finally

I, how about next time, I don't begin with I. But for now since I have started with I, then I shall continue with I. LOL, I think I just got a bit carried away there with the I.

Exams for me are over. Personally, I don't really care. I prefer being put through under all that stress and it makes me feel good that I'm doing something worth my time instead of wasting it on pointless things such as this. However it is actually quite annoying waking up early to go to school for 2 hours then have to leave again. It's a huge waste of time. They might as well tell us to go to school. But then we'd have less time to study. So, engineering. It was pain. Like I knew, that in my head I could do it. But nothing seem to come out. I had a mind blank.Which is common and so I probably shouldn't really be complaining. And also it's over now, so it's too late to do anything about it. I guess highlight of the day was really spending time with Lara and surprisingly Anavi whom we saw at the station and tagged along with us. So yes it was a really nice day which consisted of food which I've been craving so much. Out of my two cravings FOOD was the ONLY ONE which SATISFIED me. Yes, bitch, that was directed at you. I don't know if youre reading this but just in case I'll email you the link and make sure that you do read this even if it's just that ONE LINE. Yeah, so anyways we had waffles and man, oh my effing gosh, that filo waffle place at blacktown. It could nearly match up to Max Brenner but they have a totally different variety of food and selection etc, but no one cares about that because oh my gosh it was just soooooooo freakin' good. Man I was so full after, but it was a treat for getting through the exam with no worries, that was a lie, hahah but yeah. SO FREAKIN GOOD.

After the whole reward expedition, I had TAFE and the best and best exam ever. It was practically open book for BOTH prac and theory when it was suppose to be only for prac. So if I still manage to fail that exam, I will be so disappointed and eat more chocolate.

Apart from that I really don't have anything to say because I'm just so happy and not full of hate, not that I'm ever full of hate. Hate is bad. Be good, be nice to people. Or if you can't be nice, don't talk to people. That's my motto. Hahah.

laters bychezzzz

Never

So I'm on a roll today and yesterday. Seems to be what I've been doing with every aspect of my life. Procrastinating with every single thing that I do. It kinda reminds me of Hamlet. I really did love that play, I don't understand why people complained so much. Maybe they just did't put the same effort that I'd put into it.

the face of a virgin

Sex is overrated. A person's virginity, also, overrated. It has nothing to do with what I'm about to say. I just wanted to mention that. Anyway there's a huge part of me which really dislikes my current school. I don't know if it's the teachers, the students, or just the strict school environment. Whatever it is, it always gives me the shits and makes me dread going to school everyday. It's true that, fuck forgot what I was gonna say, but it's a getaway, maybe for some. I guess so actually. At one stage in my life I used school to, no wait I didn't. School has been the source of all my problems and why of all schools did I have to go to this one. However if that happened I probably would have never met my boyfriend and if I'd stayed at my old school I can safely say that I'd be pregnant by now. So that's a positive thing. It doesn't change any of the other things that have happened and occur. The people aren't what they seem and for goodness sakes they're all the biggest fakes. I swear I just want to scream at their faces and punch them. I've actually imagined it over and over again. What's stopping me? Not my parents that's for sure. That's what I love them, they allow me to retaliate if I'm being bullied or hurt because they can't stand me being treated like that, and also it's just plain karma, something, for some reason, I deeply believe in. I guess the only stopping me is my education. I've worked so hard to achieve what I've achieved and starting something just wouldn't be worth it.

The words just stopped coming out. I guess that's it for today, hopefully. I really need to study for that exam. I hope to do well and be number one girl. Hahaa,

laters bychezzz