Quick Realisation

I now now why no guy likes me.

It's because of my looks and poor personality. Well no shit, I don't think I've ever seen a guy like someone with this kind of traits and clearly both these variables affect a guys decision whether or not they'll like a girl.

I do question myself though. How do I find guys who are willing to let's use hook up with me but not be committed to be in a relationship with me. I mean, that's not the way I roll but I think it'd be better for me if I was in a stable relationship where I don't have these worries and have a guy who, well loves me for me.

Have I feelings for you, or is it just another infatuation which I need to get over because I need to know now and action must be taken before this turns into something, something unwanted. Just tell me what you feel for me or TALK TO me. I believe we haven't spoken since, well you know the last time we had a proper conversation. I don't understand though. You're the cool popular guy who isn't afraid and does these things. It's just killing me. I don't know what I did to deserve this silence between us.

NEED TO DO ENGLISH!

Never Again

A few days to my birthday, yet why do I feel like this.

So today I had a change of heart and like I feel much lighter on the inside now and I'm back to normal again, I suppose. I hope so anyway. It may be because of Austin but he's just I don't know. He's a real person, a person so far away that he may as well be a fantasy. It's quite sad that I am unfortunate enough to be unloved by people whom you think loved you but really, well they don't. It doesn't matter. I'm happy. My boys make me happy and I guess I can't really complain when I have something that makes me happy. I shouldnt be selfish and ask for too much and so there's a complete equilibrium in the world around us.

It's unfair that some people have so much negativity in their lives and it just seems that they have all the bad luck in the world. I know I may be sad at the stupidest things but I would be happy to share some of my happyness because I believe in equality between everyone no matter what race, gender, sexuality.

Sometimes I just think too much.



I LOVE YOU BOY :)
although you've made me spend so much money and time on you, it's all been worth it...now only if you were here right now...

Clumsy

I've been wanting a lot of things, this is not one of them.

She lets out a sigh of reliefe after finally returning to her home after the trauma she's been through. It simply hasn't been an easy time for her and now she feels relaxed and free from all the troubles.


Once again it's been a while since my last post and that's probably because I haven't had the chance to go on my computer, wait I'll say that again...Haven't been bothered to go on the computer and actually do computer stuff. I don't see the point of it unless I do homework which clearly I'm not going to be doing that anyway.

Things have changed. People have changed. I've changed.
Most of these changes have been good but with some things I just can't cope with it and it's somewhat unfair on me. I find a way to help myself but then I'm at fault for hurting others in doing so. Why can't I be selfish for once and just do and have what I want. I've been there whenever you needed me so just let me be me and do as I please. Is that too much to ask for.


FUN COUNT: 5 to this date.
booyeah!


Éxams are quickly approaching and I'm actually looking forward to it. The thought of being put amount great amounts of stress gives me an adrenalin rush which I just seem to love. That and sneaking out would be the two things that keep me feeling great. I'm just so awesome sometimes.


Once again, will blog whenever I can.

I'm such a liar.

It doesn't hurt to be optimistic. You can always cry later.

Basically, I said that I wouldnt blog anymore. It lasted for a while...then I realised how much I love blogging. I don't care that no one reads it. It just makes me feel better. Plus I have a whole lot of shit that I just want to get out of my system and like yeah. So hello and hope you do like my new and non improved entries.

I never expected it to happen this way. I guess it's too late now. At least I have you now, and no matter what you do I'm never going to forget you...

I played baseball like a few weeks back and sucks cause the first time I played it I got to second base, then thrid base then I got out.
The second time, I got to second base, then third base again which sucked, again.
It was all good fun. Then last week, on Thursday I finally got to Home Base and dayum it felt so good getting there. Well I got to first base too but like yeah. Just can't stop thinking bout it.

REMEMBER THE 8th OF APRIL.

The holidays are nearly over, and they didnt exactly go to plan. And I've managed to make myself think that someone hates me or dislikes me, but yeah I don't know about that yet. Plus I don't wanna find out anyway, because I really just hate talking about these kind of things. So yeah, at least I went to Luna Park. That was gooood fun.

I failed ENGLISH, like literally, to the max, to the depth of the world and I'm going crazy because I have not started that essay which is due in less than a week. I've kinda tried to start it but I just don't get it and understand it and I don't know. I am not looking forward to school because of English. The only thing I am looking forward to is the fact that I get to have my life back and maybe because of TAFE, that's pretty fun. Meet new people through those lovely kids. But yeah school, not so much.

I just want to go back to the eight of the fourth.

It wasn't long enough and time just went by too quickly.

It's not fair.

Stupid hormones.

Until next time.

400th post.

vale. por lo que casi han pasado dos semanas y se podría pensar que por ahora me han trasladado, pero no. Te amo, todavía. Sí le dije amor. porque lo hago y no importa lo que hago (bueno y malo) No puedo olvidar que usted o lo que teníamos en el pasado y así es como me causa locos no saben qué hacer. Sé que hice mal por usted, pero me gustaría que hubiera durado más tiempo. Ah cállate.


taken from jasmines blog:



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still

I'm at that point in my life where I just ask myself how stupid can you really be? Truthfully nothing is wrong with my life yet I manage to make problems which i don't really need and waste my time on useless things when I can be doing more efficient stuff. although it won't really make a difference cause it's me but whatever.

I still miss you.
you can't do anything about that.
whenever I do something I think about you and how guilty I feel because it's not you I'm doing it with but well just not you and it upsets me but I'm trying hard ok and I'm sorry.

I did love you.
I think I still do.

it may seem like I don't care but hey I do ok. I just show it differently and I still have concern because you're all close to me and the fact that I don't show it doesn't meant that I don't care. I worry. just what difference does it make if I make a comment on it. it's not like I can fix the problem. just know that in case you didn't already know

some people are just so annoying.
and others are just pure evil.

we move on...


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WAN CAR

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!


FUCKING GET OVER IT ALL YOU FUCKING PUSSY. AND STOP FUCKING CRYING OVER IT AND FUCKING WASTING YOUR FUCKING USELESS AND HOPELESS LIFE YOU FUCKING LOSER. FUCK.




I'm so going to get reported for the abuse of this blog. oh well. I got to say what i wanted.


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