Honestly,

I'm in a horrible mood, all of a sudden and I feel like ranting because I seriously CAN NOT BE BOTHERED to do english and I think releasing some steam would be just so much better.

1. Apart from clubbing my birthday was not as fun as I had planned, it was way different than what I wanted in the first place and I guess that was my fault.

2. I just hate people, I hate the fact that they're fake and I hate the fact that they have to pretend to like me, gosh if you don't like me just stay away.

3. Stop assuming things, because for fucking goodness sakes it's fucking annoying and it's annoying. I think that's just the best way to put it.

4. I'm invited to a house party on friday and I probably can't go because of parents, school and transport, which adds to this irky mood I am in right now and I finally feel like part of something.

5. I bought alcohol which I'm neglecting (soon about to change, maybe) because drinking it would make me feel absolutely guilty and I have school tomorrow and don't wanna turn up off my face.

6. There's gotta be more to my life than always doing school work or even going to school. I'm 18, and I'm boring and I'm hating this.

7. I want a normal relationship.

8. I want to be able to do what I want whenever I want.

9. Now I want to cry.

10. BUT NO, I HAVE ENGLISH TO DO.

11. I wish I could play God like Tyrell or Frankenstein and I wouldn't use my powers to create replicants or monsters and use them as slaves, I would just use my powers to give myself the power to go on a holiday and live on an island with people I want and not have to care about things that I do about now, if that makes sense.

This steam release thing is kinda working. I feel somewhat better now.

Back to english then....

Also, I know that people read my blog, it's kinda obvious so don't act like you don't know about any of this shit because that just pisses me off too, gah i need chocolate.

DAY 187

I still love you as much as I did from day 1, which is not much :P


Nah, I love you heaps more and I think, I hope you see that. Gosh I'm lovesick it's so fucking lame and lameeeee. But yeah. Also today I was extremely happy and tired. I felt drunk, BUT i didn't actually drink anything. It's like the feeling I get from drinking heaps and heaps of RedBull and just losing all the energy. Just like you said. I use up my energy way too quickly and run out before the day even starts. Yeah no more of that bullshit.

Just wanted to say HAPPY 187th DAYVERSARRY :):)

♥

because everyday with you is significant


:)

surprise surprise

Firstly happy birthday doshi, the only reason I'm actually mentioning this is because I just turned 18 last week and this little boy only turned 16 today, I would say that this is hilarious but that would be a complete understatement.

On a completely different note I've been feeling really, not really pessimistic but more realistic. I've just been thinking a lot, not of English though cause it's not like I have an assessment in two days, but of just life, my life and my boyfriend's life and how much I could possibly ruin things even more than I already have. I've been thinking of getting alcohol, the small bottles, 1 to build my cool bottle collection 2 because I found some that apparently taste nice. The problem is I don't actually like alcohol very much and drinking it by myself would just be sad. I also don't have that much money, LIE, I do have money but there's so many people's birthdays coming up and I can just see myself going broke and I don't want that to happen so I shall save up.

I cried last night, yeah that's all with that.

I really want to get this essay written so at least I feel like I've accomplished something but it's just so boring and I constantly am thinking of Sumeet and I want to be with him right now and just cuddle with him and have him hold my hand. And we could be studying together, like that when he came over and my parents made us sit in the front lounge room, he'd sneak a kiss here and there. I thought that was really sweet. I feel like things have changed so much and I keep looking back at the memories, good and bad however the good outweighing the bad and I wish that I could be with him for the rest of my life, well the good stuff anyway but like I don't actually think about the future, it just scares me. Truthfully I don't actually think further than a month, like I don't imagine things or anything like that because I'm afraid of getting my hopes up or just having a different outcome from what I had expected. Anyways no more from my very philosophical views and I shall do this english thing now because I wanna be off my face tomorrow night. LOL, jk my mum will have a go at me if she found out I was drinking EVEN though I am 18 now and could technically live on my own without them watching over me 24/7.

Yes, shuttup.

i love mysely.

laters bytchess.

sexmonths

Today is 17th May 2011.

It's been six months since you asked me out. And since then, I've felt like the most luckiest girl in the world. I absolutely love you babe, and only you.

♥

I'm an adult.

There's not much to say really, except fuck yeah.

Incomplete

I made a changed the link to my tumblr account: Tumblr.

And it's like EIGHT DAYS, more like seven, but yeah, till my Birthday! And the worst part is, whenever I think 18, I think Sumeet. Is that just sad or what.

I'm constantly finding ways of distracting myself but I'm still crying and I can't get over it. It just shits me that all this happened and it's not fair, I could've been the one to get hurt and not both of us.

Yeah, I really don't have anything to say except I'm sorry for ever coming into your life then ruining it.

Purple

I wonder what sex feels like.
Feel free to demonstrate anytime you want.

I don't know what it is with shopping and me, especially at DFO. I constantly find myself overspending yet all the things I buy are >$5. But whatever, gotta do my best to look hot for my babeee.