surprise surprise

Firstly happy birthday doshi, the only reason I'm actually mentioning this is because I just turned 18 last week and this little boy only turned 16 today, I would say that this is hilarious but that would be a complete understatement.

On a completely different note I've been feeling really, not really pessimistic but more realistic. I've just been thinking a lot, not of English though cause it's not like I have an assessment in two days, but of just life, my life and my boyfriend's life and how much I could possibly ruin things even more than I already have. I've been thinking of getting alcohol, the small bottles, 1 to build my cool bottle collection 2 because I found some that apparently taste nice. The problem is I don't actually like alcohol very much and drinking it by myself would just be sad. I also don't have that much money, LIE, I do have money but there's so many people's birthdays coming up and I can just see myself going broke and I don't want that to happen so I shall save up.

I cried last night, yeah that's all with that.

I really want to get this essay written so at least I feel like I've accomplished something but it's just so boring and I constantly am thinking of Sumeet and I want to be with him right now and just cuddle with him and have him hold my hand. And we could be studying together, like that when he came over and my parents made us sit in the front lounge room, he'd sneak a kiss here and there. I thought that was really sweet. I feel like things have changed so much and I keep looking back at the memories, good and bad however the good outweighing the bad and I wish that I could be with him for the rest of my life, well the good stuff anyway but like I don't actually think about the future, it just scares me. Truthfully I don't actually think further than a month, like I don't imagine things or anything like that because I'm afraid of getting my hopes up or just having a different outcome from what I had expected. Anyways no more from my very philosophical views and I shall do this english thing now because I wanna be off my face tomorrow night. LOL, jk my mum will have a go at me if she found out I was drinking EVEN though I am 18 now and could technically live on my own without them watching over me 24/7.

Yes, shuttup.

i love mysely.

laters bytchess.

sexmonths

Today is 17th May 2011.

It's been six months since you asked me out. And since then, I've felt like the most luckiest girl in the world. I absolutely love you babe, and only you.

♥

I'm an adult.

There's not much to say really, except fuck yeah.

Incomplete

I made a changed the link to my tumblr account: Tumblr.

And it's like EIGHT DAYS, more like seven, but yeah, till my Birthday! And the worst part is, whenever I think 18, I think Sumeet. Is that just sad or what.

I'm constantly finding ways of distracting myself but I'm still crying and I can't get over it. It just shits me that all this happened and it's not fair, I could've been the one to get hurt and not both of us.

Yeah, I really don't have anything to say except I'm sorry for ever coming into your life then ruining it.

Purple

I wonder what sex feels like.
Feel free to demonstrate anytime you want.

I don't know what it is with shopping and me, especially at DFO. I constantly find myself overspending yet all the things I buy are >$5. But whatever, gotta do my best to look hot for my babeee.

kmdkn

I don't know why you do it.
It's not like I planned to "hurt" you.
Fuck, and you wonder why I'm such a bitch.


RAGE.


And this is why I don't like to share.


Oh and how many "bestfriends" do you need? Are you that insecure that you need to label your friends and make other people bad from "taking" them away from you?



OHMYGOSH RAGGEEEE.

where the fuck are you sumeet.

Weekend

So today, IT WAS FUCKING GREAT. Ha, apart from my day, there's also the Royal Wedding which is to begin in less than half and hour, I think. That's what Sunshine said anyway. I'm kinda hyped, yes, call me a loser or whatever but I think it's a big deal. People, do you now know that one day this woman could be running the country. I mean it's not THAT possible, but it could still happen. Also the fact that I actually find her gorgeous and absolutely lucky to have met her man, who just happens to be the Prince of Wales. Back to reality, I also have a wonderful man, who IVY IN CASE YOU ARE READING THIS IS WAYYYYY BETTER THAN YOUR BOYFRIEND.

I want the whole world to know my boyfriend, actually not really because I'm scared someone might steal him away, yeah he's that hot and great and perfect. So anyways he's hairy and tall and kind and hairy and sexy and tall and loving and hairy and horny LOL and hairy. He has hair. Like seriously. Hair. Dude, I love you, and I know you'll be reading this so :P Uh he's hairy and I absolutely love him, like ABSOLUT VODKA hahah, I remember that night I swear if Kat hadn't been there you seriously would have gotten me to do whatever you wanted, but I was smart, oh so very smart. Oh why I like this guy and why he's so great? Because he makes me feel on top of the world even at the most unsophisticated and unclassy and dirty places. Of course that's in reference to what happened today. But what happened today is of course my DIRTY little secret. LOOOOL, not at that but another joke which I shall mention another day.

I do feel bad though. Yesterday I full dogged you at 11.30 and I wanted to cry. I mean I wanted to see you but like I couldn't cause I had to stay in class and pay attention. I don't want to fall behind, please understand. And I did TRY to sext Sukhman but he ignored my message and wanted you to think I totally forgot all about you so that you'd fall into his arms while you were vulnerable and take you away from me. I know his intentions, I can see it in his eyes. But I'm too good and yeah. So hopefully I've made up for the wrong I've done. And also, sorry about today. I can't freaking believe that I still failed religion. I studied a fair amount for that exam because 1. I wanted to do well and 2. I had to. Yet my efforts weren't given with the mark that I deserved although, I have been breaking so many rules of my religion and I guess this is what they call, Karma and yes I prolly did deserve the mark that I did get. I'm just not happy but I'm glad that I'm not the ONLY ONE to fail. Not that failing is any good. Yeah so sorry about that part of today. I'm pretty sure I've made up for it though. If not be prepared on Monday :D I sure will  be.

Nothing else to really say. Uh, weekend, which in my mind just means two days of not seeing Sumeet which is a negative thing. I'd rather put up with school and all the troubles it creates as well as stress JUST SO I can be with him during recess and lunch. Fuck, I really am into this guy and I find it so lame. HEHHE.

Also I just remembered, Justin Bieber's concert, second one in Sydney is today. I can't belieb I'm not there right now so Sumeet better give me a good show for me ahha, and he also said that he's gonna watch Never Say Never with me. Awww what a sweet boyfie. Heheh.

Okay, for real, that I got nothing much else to say.
Laters bychezzzz.
♥


p.s. this is for you babe. TICK ONE OF THE FUCKING BOXES, so I know if you like my blog entries. And so I know if you've read it or not. Which I'm pretty sure you read em anyway. loveyou