Uhh, this long weekend is so bad. I'm not doing anything. I finished cleaning my room this morning. It didn't even take me the whole day. By lunch time I was finished and was eating lunch. And then I read some manga while watching Imagine Me and You which had lesbian chicks which I thought was cute and nice that people could accept that. Then around two started watching my favourite soap and soon realised I fell asleep. Or more like I fell into a trance where I knew what I was doing but I just couldnt control myself. Hahah, that makes no sense at all but whatever.
My weekends now empty. I'd made so many plans yesterday one for pretty much everyday of this extended weekened that I had, now all ruined and I'm having the most shitty time ever. Well not really I'm just chillaxing and stuff but still. I wanted to spend money and eat food all day...not that I haven't been doing that already. But the main thing is I made plan with friends and I cancelled. I hate it when that happens to me so I hate it when I do it to them. It's not like I wanted to. Family and stuff, don't really want to get into it because I can't find anyway of making it interesting to read. Not that this blog is even any interesting, which is a shame.
Blogspot is a lot better than Tumblr, this of course is a personal opinion because, well it's my opinion, duh. My reason for this is simple. I like writing about nonsense and nothingness and expressing what I truly feel. I guess you can do that on Tumblr too but sometimes it just feels like your just posting pictures that other people have already seen and it gets so repetitive and boring. Plus as much as pictures may be interesting and can say a thousand words, oh this is what I told my boyfriend: A picture can have a thousand words, but Jasmine has a million more. I don't know if he read that or found that the least bit funny but I thought it would be a sweet thing to say, again a personal opinion.
I really want to do something. I'm not even going out tomorrow. I don't want to clean because that's gonna take me like what, a few minutes and then what after. I'm just gonna be bored again. Oh, I've realised that lately I've well not enjoyed but I like it better when everything's clean and neat. I'm not a neat freak but I think I might be turning into my dad. I'm growing into his cleaning habits which is quite odd because I use to be so close to living in a pig sty. I guess it's not that much of a problem. At least I'm clean and I'm no a dirty, dirty girl. Ha, yes I just had to put that okay.
To think that I couldn't write that much today, I've written quite a fair bit, yet again. Before I forget, RIP Elizabeth Taylor. I haven't watched many of your movies but I really liked the movie Taming of the Shrew where you played Katherina. Yeah, I really liked that. You had a great lifetime. I wish I could live a great lifetime too but of course in my own way. You really are a great person.
No more writing. Glad to hear from my that boy, whom I still haven't met. Far out, whatever he does though he's just so funny and nice and caring and why does he keep calling me cute when he too hasn't seen me because I know one thing for sure, my personality ain't nowhere near cute. Nothing about me is cute. I'm a sophisticated, classy, edible woman.
:)
laters bychezzz
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Finally
I, how about next time, I don't begin with I. But for now since I have started with I, then I shall continue with I. LOL, I think I just got a bit carried away there with the I.
Exams for me are over. Personally, I don't really care. I prefer being put through under all that stress and it makes me feel good that I'm doing something worth my time instead of wasting it on pointless things such as this. However it is actually quite annoying waking up early to go to school for 2 hours then have to leave again. It's a huge waste of time. They might as well tell us to go to school. But then we'd have less time to study. So, engineering. It was pain. Like I knew, that in my head I could do it. But nothing seem to come out. I had a mind blank.Which is common and so I probably shouldn't really be complaining. And also it's over now, so it's too late to do anything about it. I guess highlight of the day was really spending time with Lara and surprisingly Anavi whom we saw at the station and tagged along with us. So yes it was a really nice day which consisted of food which I've been craving so much. Out of my two cravings FOOD was the ONLY ONE which SATISFIED me. Yes, bitch, that was directed at you. I don't know if youre reading this but just in case I'll email you the link and make sure that you do read this even if it's just that ONE LINE. Yeah, so anyways we had waffles and man, oh my effing gosh, that filo waffle place at blacktown. It could nearly match up to Max Brenner but they have a totally different variety of food and selection etc, but no one cares about that because oh my gosh it was just soooooooo freakin' good. Man I was so full after, but it was a treat for getting through the exam with no worries, that was a lie, hahah but yeah. SO FREAKIN GOOD.
After the whole reward expedition, I had TAFE and the best and best exam ever. It was practically open book for BOTH prac and theory when it was suppose to be only for prac. So if I still manage to fail that exam, I will be so disappointed and eat more chocolate.
Apart from that I really don't have anything to say because I'm just so happy and not full of hate, not that I'm ever full of hate. Hate is bad. Be good, be nice to people. Or if you can't be nice, don't talk to people. That's my motto. Hahah.
laters bychezzzz
Exams for me are over. Personally, I don't really care. I prefer being put through under all that stress and it makes me feel good that I'm doing something worth my time instead of wasting it on pointless things such as this. However it is actually quite annoying waking up early to go to school for 2 hours then have to leave again. It's a huge waste of time. They might as well tell us to go to school. But then we'd have less time to study. So, engineering. It was pain. Like I knew, that in my head I could do it. But nothing seem to come out. I had a mind blank.Which is common and so I probably shouldn't really be complaining. And also it's over now, so it's too late to do anything about it. I guess highlight of the day was really spending time with Lara and surprisingly Anavi whom we saw at the station and tagged along with us. So yes it was a really nice day which consisted of food which I've been craving so much. Out of my two cravings FOOD was the ONLY ONE which SATISFIED me. Yes, bitch, that was directed at you. I don't know if youre reading this but just in case I'll email you the link and make sure that you do read this even if it's just that ONE LINE. Yeah, so anyways we had waffles and man, oh my effing gosh, that filo waffle place at blacktown. It could nearly match up to Max Brenner but they have a totally different variety of food and selection etc, but no one cares about that because oh my gosh it was just soooooooo freakin' good. Man I was so full after, but it was a treat for getting through the exam with no worries, that was a lie, hahah but yeah. SO FREAKIN GOOD.
After the whole reward expedition, I had TAFE and the best and best exam ever. It was practically open book for BOTH prac and theory when it was suppose to be only for prac. So if I still manage to fail that exam, I will be so disappointed and eat more chocolate.
Apart from that I really don't have anything to say because I'm just so happy and not full of hate, not that I'm ever full of hate. Hate is bad. Be good, be nice to people. Or if you can't be nice, don't talk to people. That's my motto. Hahah.
laters bychezzzz
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Never
So I'm on a roll today and yesterday. Seems to be what I've been doing with every aspect of my life. Procrastinating with every single thing that I do. It kinda reminds me of Hamlet. I really did love that play, I don't understand why people complained so much. Maybe they just did't put the same effort that I'd put into it.
Sex is overrated. A person's virginity, also, overrated. It has nothing to do with what I'm about to say. I just wanted to mention that. Anyway there's a huge part of me which really dislikes my current school. I don't know if it's the teachers, the students, or just the strict school environment. Whatever it is, it always gives me the shits and makes me dread going to school everyday. It's true that, fuck forgot what I was gonna say, but it's a getaway, maybe for some. I guess so actually. At one stage in my life I used school to, no wait I didn't. School has been the source of all my problems and why of all schools did I have to go to this one. However if that happened I probably would have never met my boyfriend and if I'd stayed at my old school I can safely say that I'd be pregnant by now. So that's a positive thing. It doesn't change any of the other things that have happened and occur. The people aren't what they seem and for goodness sakes they're all the biggest fakes. I swear I just want to scream at their faces and punch them. I've actually imagined it over and over again. What's stopping me? Not my parents that's for sure. That's what I love them, they allow me to retaliate if I'm being bullied or hurt because they can't stand me being treated like that, and also it's just plain karma, something, for some reason, I deeply believe in. I guess the only stopping me is my education. I've worked so hard to achieve what I've achieved and starting something just wouldn't be worth it.
The words just stopped coming out. I guess that's it for today, hopefully. I really need to study for that exam. I hope to do well and be number one girl. Hahaa,
laters bychezzz
the face of a virgin
The words just stopped coming out. I guess that's it for today, hopefully. I really need to study for that exam. I hope to do well and be number one girl. Hahaa,
laters bychezzz
Alone
I'm so exhausted. I know why. It's because I stayed up late last night talking to the one person who I manage to be able to say anything to and relates to it and jokes about it and is just so nice to talk to. That and because of my new and surprising daily routine, and because of this he now owes me, BIG TIME.
Yes, I know I should be studying for my Engineering exam. I don't feel confident nor do I think that I know what I will do tomorrow but I do know that if I just think everything carefully through I can get it done and manage to pass like the 3928487562034 tests that we've done in the past. Plus writing in my blog always seems to help me refocus when I return to studying. And I like to get distracted, it happens quite often but at least it's better than constantly straining my brain on something that I don't even understand. Man, I love this subject. I knew it was the right thing to do to keep it. Am I weird that way, liking a subject which I don't do well in but still enjoy it. Whatever.
So news update. I'm home alone again. This is becoming a reccuring event which I don't particularly like. I've had so many opportunities to have people over yet no one will come over. PEOPLE, I BITE, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it'll hurt. And now because I felt like it, I got myself acup of wine, like 10mL of wine diluted in a litre of apple and blackcurrant juice and it's still so disgusting. How am I gonna be able to drink when I'm older D: which is fast approaching. I feel like puking. Am I stupid or what.
Apart from distraction, the whole point of this blog entry is to just rave on about people's poor sense of uniqueness or their timing. There's quite a lot of people who do it and I must admit I myself am a culprit of this. But like sometimes in this world people copy each other and maybe because it's a good thing but other times it's just our desire and what not, people where is your SENSE OF INDIVIDUALITY, we were made to be different yet some of us just choose to copy others. What is wrong with you. I've separated myself from others to not fall in the trap of conforming to society and allowing myself to explore the world and surroundings by doing things how I want to and whenever I want to. Now if you think about it, it is kinda selfish but it's allowing you to take advantage of the life you were giving. Live your life for goodness sakes.
I apologize for overreacting, I think it was just from a post I read and from a picture I saw. People these days, well some you kinda just expect better. But I've learned to accept the fact that I AM nearly 18 and that I should grow up and be mature and not worry about little things like that. There are bigger problems in today's society and I shouldn't let insignificant people hold me back from doing what I want to do.
I am also listening to: Today my Life Begins by Bruno Mars because titface told me to listen to it. It is soothing and sweet actually. It's my kinda of song.
I guess this can be my motivation. Once these exams are over I'm gonna start over and let my life begin to a better and good one. One where I have him in it and one where I'm happy and carefree.
I'm weird. My posts are weird. What the freak is wrong with me. I guess I'm just lovesick. I'm also aging. I'm starting to see wrinkles and uneven skin tone and the 7 signs of aging. I think I should go buy Olay now. I can't have this happening to me, I need to be vibrant and lovely and edible, most of which I'm not. I'm so superficial that I care so much about my looks and wanna cry about it now. If that was true I'd probably crying right now but it's now. But I am aging. I've just realised how freaking close my birthday is. It's in less than 60 days. LESS THAN 60 DAYS, wait. I shall count how long away it is. 54 DAYS AWAY, you know how unsoon that is. But i've been waiting 17 years and 311 days for this day and it's fast approaching. After this, I'm gonna be an ADULT, a real life ADULT. I just don't see it happening. Yeah if I had a car I wouldnt be complaining about it this much.
laters bychezzzz
Yes, I know I should be studying for my Engineering exam. I don't feel confident nor do I think that I know what I will do tomorrow but I do know that if I just think everything carefully through I can get it done and manage to pass like the 3928487562034 tests that we've done in the past. Plus writing in my blog always seems to help me refocus when I return to studying. And I like to get distracted, it happens quite often but at least it's better than constantly straining my brain on something that I don't even understand. Man, I love this subject. I knew it was the right thing to do to keep it. Am I weird that way, liking a subject which I don't do well in but still enjoy it. Whatever.
So news update. I'm home alone again. This is becoming a reccuring event which I don't particularly like. I've had so many opportunities to have people over yet no one will come over. PEOPLE, I BITE, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it'll hurt. And now because I felt like it, I got myself a
Apart from distraction, the whole point of this blog entry is to just rave on about people's poor sense of uniqueness or their timing. There's quite a lot of people who do it and I must admit I myself am a culprit of this. But like sometimes in this world people copy each other and maybe because it's a good thing but other times it's just our desire and what not, people where is your SENSE OF INDIVIDUALITY, we were made to be different yet some of us just choose to copy others. What is wrong with you. I've separated myself from others to not fall in the trap of conforming to society and allowing myself to explore the world and surroundings by doing things how I want to and whenever I want to. Now if you think about it, it is kinda selfish but it's allowing you to take advantage of the life you were giving. Live your life for goodness sakes.
I apologize for overreacting, I think it was just from a post I read and from a picture I saw. People these days, well some you kinda just expect better. But I've learned to accept the fact that I AM nearly 18 and that I should grow up and be mature and not worry about little things like that. There are bigger problems in today's society and I shouldn't let insignificant people hold me back from doing what I want to do.
I am also listening to: Today my Life Begins by Bruno Mars because titface told me to listen to it. It is soothing and sweet actually. It's my kinda of song.
I guess this can be my motivation. Once these exams are over I'm gonna start over and let my life begin to a better and good one. One where I have him in it and one where I'm happy and carefree.
I'm weird. My posts are weird. What the freak is wrong with me. I guess I'm just lovesick. I'm also aging. I'm starting to see wrinkles and uneven skin tone and the 7 signs of aging. I think I should go buy Olay now. I can't have this happening to me, I need to be vibrant and lovely and edible, most of which I'm not. I'm so superficial that I care so much about my looks and wanna cry about it now. If that was true I'd probably crying right now but it's now. But I am aging. I've just realised how freaking close my birthday is. It's in less than 60 days. LESS THAN 60 DAYS, wait. I shall count how long away it is. 54 DAYS AWAY, you know how unsoon that is. But i've been waiting 17 years and 311 days for this day and it's fast approaching. After this, I'm gonna be an ADULT, a real life ADULT. I just don't see it happening. Yeah if I had a car I wouldnt be complaining about it this much.
laters bychezzzz
Monday, March 21, 2011
Revelation
I didn't actually want to write again but I felt like if I wrote then maybe all the feelings inside of me would disappear and let me concentrate on studying for this exam.
I have mixed feelings, towards everyone. The people who you expect to be the biggest dick towards you turns out to be really nice and as much as they may not show it, you can just tell that they're really sincere, thought at times you might just be hallucinating and no they're not really nice. However, there's others who you have high expectations from, as friends and people who would, SHOULD care about and understand how you feel but instead creates problems which you never expect would have occurred.
I'm studying for Engineering. I actually find it quite interesting. On top of that it's distracting me from the people around me and all the issues which come along with it. I don't like how things are. This post is pretty much contradicting my previous one, WHICH was only written a few hours ago. But right now, I feel like sometimes me and my boyfriend weren't meant to be. There's always forces keeping us apart and if not that, people preventing us from being together. Am I that horrible and mean of a person that I have to suffer with this, let alone with the guy whom I love most. I'm not the only one suffering, or so I hope. I mean, if I'm the only one suffering this is life's way of torturing me after all that I've done in the past.
I just want to be free. I don't want to be held back by anyone anymore. I want to be able to do what I want to do without having to worry about others, judging and telling that it's not right. Maybe I know it's not right, but sometimes I have to experience these things for myself and learn and be able to learn from these mistakes. I want to experience new things. I want the adrenaline, the rush, just everything. I don't want to be held back. Which is why when I turn 18 I'm considering getting a tattoo. I don't know what yet, but I will. Not to rebel, but just to have that feeling running through my veins. The feeling where no one has held me back and allowed me to make my own decision. I don't care if it's a mistake. At times, actually, I know that my mistakes have led to good things. I remember that one day, I jigged school to get away from everyone and went to the house of the person who could comfort me and allow me to forget all the issues and troubles I was in. He took me to his home, especially during a critical time in his hs life, yet he did not worry. He did not care that he could be in trouble for allowing me to enter the home of his parents. He talked with me, he spent the day with me, my gosh we studied in our underwear. Of course that person is special to me and he's still that loving person that he was. If people understand how I feel about him and could just be like him then maybe I won't be like this. Is it that hard to empathize with others and maybe see how they feel.
What the freaking heck am I on about. Sometimes I can just go on about nothing yet for some reason it makes sense to me later and it also removes the weight within me. Like right now, I actually feel good. I've made mistakes and I should learn to accept the consequences. And now I can go back to studying for that exam.
laters bychezzz
p.s. sorry if write a lot and that it's a complete eyesore. I just have a lot on my mind and I'd like to free myself from it, even if it means writing on an online blog where no one will ever read it. I guess that's what so good about. Oh and PJ might read it, she's not nothing. I kinda hope she doesn't though. Don't want her to see how much of a loser I really am, if she hasn't seen it already.
I have mixed feelings, towards everyone. The people who you expect to be the biggest dick towards you turns out to be really nice and as much as they may not show it, you can just tell that they're really sincere, thought at times you might just be hallucinating and no they're not really nice. However, there's others who you have high expectations from, as friends and people who would, SHOULD care about and understand how you feel but instead creates problems which you never expect would have occurred.
I'm studying for Engineering. I actually find it quite interesting. On top of that it's distracting me from the people around me and all the issues which come along with it. I don't like how things are. This post is pretty much contradicting my previous one, WHICH was only written a few hours ago. But right now, I feel like sometimes me and my boyfriend weren't meant to be. There's always forces keeping us apart and if not that, people preventing us from being together. Am I that horrible and mean of a person that I have to suffer with this, let alone with the guy whom I love most. I'm not the only one suffering, or so I hope. I mean, if I'm the only one suffering this is life's way of torturing me after all that I've done in the past.
I just want to be free. I don't want to be held back by anyone anymore. I want to be able to do what I want to do without having to worry about others, judging and telling that it's not right. Maybe I know it's not right, but sometimes I have to experience these things for myself and learn and be able to learn from these mistakes. I want to experience new things. I want the adrenaline, the rush, just everything. I don't want to be held back. Which is why when I turn 18 I'm considering getting a tattoo. I don't know what yet, but I will. Not to rebel, but just to have that feeling running through my veins. The feeling where no one has held me back and allowed me to make my own decision. I don't care if it's a mistake. At times, actually, I know that my mistakes have led to good things. I remember that one day, I jigged school to get away from everyone and went to the house of the person who could comfort me and allow me to forget all the issues and troubles I was in. He took me to his home, especially during a critical time in his hs life, yet he did not worry. He did not care that he could be in trouble for allowing me to enter the home of his parents. He talked with me, he spent the day with me, my gosh we studied in our underwear. Of course that person is special to me and he's still that loving person that he was. If people understand how I feel about him and could just be like him then maybe I won't be like this. Is it that hard to empathize with others and maybe see how they feel.
What the freaking heck am I on about. Sometimes I can just go on about nothing yet for some reason it makes sense to me later and it also removes the weight within me. Like right now, I actually feel good. I've made mistakes and I should learn to accept the consequences. And now I can go back to studying for that exam.
laters bychezzz
p.s. sorry if write a lot and that it's a complete eyesore. I just have a lot on my mind and I'd like to free myself from it, even if it means writing on an online blog where no one will ever read it. I guess that's what so good about. Oh and PJ might read it, she's not nothing. I kinda hope she doesn't though. Don't want her to see how much of a loser I really am, if she hasn't seen it already.
Chou Yo Hana Yo
A BIG HELLO TO THE PEOPLE WHO WASTE THEIR TIME READING MY NONSENSE
Today was, well, how shall I put it. It was freakin' great. Yes, I know there was a Chemistry exam but you see as important as it may be, I like to see things on the positive side and will it benefit me. Okay, so now I'm just stupid because it obviously doesn't benefit me and now I don't even know what I'm going on about. But the main reason today was good because I pretty much kept my boyfriend to myself and made sure I shared him with absolutely no one else. As harsh as that may sound, I've hardly seen him in the past week nor have I had a proper conversation with him. It's not like I forced him to stay with me. He wanted to be with me too, I guess, I HOPE. Laugh out loudspeaker. Anyways yeah, HE SHOULD HAVE COME OVER THOUGH since I'm home alone right now and I have absolutely nothing else to do except you know study for my upcoming Engineering Exam which my whole class always manage to fail. And you know what I've noticed. I've never actually failed an Engineering exam before. All my marks have been 50%+ which I guess is an Outstanding effort because I said so.
I guess there's nothing else to really talk about. I mean apart from the fact that I have managed to make my life seem like hell to myself, everything has been good. Oh, except I've just realised I won't get to see my boyfriend again for another week which REALLY does saddens me because I don't think anyone (apart from him) gets how much I love him and how much he means to me and just how much he makes me feel special. It really does make me feel selfish and that's why I've stuck to just him because I'm happy with just him, I don't need to be anymore selfish and pushing myself onto others. I'm really happy. That and because he makes me happy in all kinds of ways. I'm glad I can make myself smile, I know this is kinda off topic but I've noticed that whenever I'm down or someone else is down and I'm just talking casually to them, I suddenly bring up some lame or dirty joke and it kinda just relaxes the moment. I'm glad I'm actually amazing that way because most of the time, I really don't care about others. Not because I don't care but because I don't like sticking my nose in other people's problems. If I was needed I'd know or I'd be asked otherwise, I'll stay out of what's NOT MY BUSINESS.
So today's been good. I've also pretty much freed myself. From the things that have been dragging me down and I just wanted to be that carefree me again, the one who, well didn't care about what anything or anyone does. Just the me that's absolutely happy with the boy she loves and the people whom she care about the most. Gosh, I'm in a good mood, and I haven't even got sexed up yet. Laugh out loudspeaker.
Sorry for writing so much, didn't think I had it in me. And I was reading through my old posts right and I noticed that my writing was actually okay. Not the grammar but the way I presented it. It was interesting and it made me want to read what I wrote but yeah, I guess I'm just egotistic like that. I think I'm gonna read through it a bit more. It'd feel nostalgic going back in time though, oh well. Sometimes the past is good because it leads to where you are now.
No more writing. Save you the trouble of reading anymore.
laters bychezzzz xoxo.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Hello 2011
Hi, I've decided to return to Blogspot, where I believe my blogging first began. It was a pretty good career because I knew many people were interested in my meaningless gossip and what not, but the past is in the past and now I'm just here because, well everyone seems to be everywhere but here, except PJ which is nice.
I've decided to revamp my blog, pretify it and all the other things I like to do when I have a critical exam the following day. I'm studying for Chemistry right. I find it all interesting but why is nothing staying in my head. I can't seem to bring myself to remember what I'm studying making it the biggest waste of time ALTHOUGH it's not like I'd be doing anything productive so I guess it's not a complete waste of time.
Looking through my blog, I found this: http://cuffsandheels.blogspot.com/2009/02/jasmine.html It was like destiny knew we were meant to be. HAHA, man I was sooo into that guy. Still am.
Uh, yeah well for my comeback this is a pretty shitty blog but HAVE NO FEAR, the future ones will be a tonne better. I hope. And I have a boyfriend. He's quite lovely actually.
Till next time, later bitchezzz.
I've decided to revamp my blog, pretify it and all the other things I like to do when I have a critical exam the following day. I'm studying for Chemistry right. I find it all interesting but why is nothing staying in my head. I can't seem to bring myself to remember what I'm studying making it the biggest waste of time ALTHOUGH it's not like I'd be doing anything productive so I guess it's not a complete waste of time.
Looking through my blog, I found this: http://cuffsandheels.blogspot.com/2009/02/jasmine.html It was like destiny knew we were meant to be. HAHA, man I was sooo into that guy. Still am.
Uh, yeah well for my comeback this is a pretty shitty blog but HAVE NO FEAR, the future ones will be a tonne better. I hope. And I have a boyfriend. He's quite lovely actually.
Till next time, later bitchezzz.
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