Complicated

Things are always different.

A new adventure everyday, is what many people believe.

Well I believe that to have any fun in life you gotta make it fun. And I believe that today was fun and well different. And that's different in a good way.


Just want to smile.
Especially about the rollercoaster.

Unfair.

The following two monologues are towards two different people. It is about a girl thinking about two people who she's unsure what they are to her. Basically it's just her talking to herself or in this case monologuing to herself. Enjoy. Uh, another thing, this is written in my language as in the way I speak because well that's how I speak and that's how I write and that's uh, how I make it interesting. Actually I don't think it's a monologue. Let's just call it a thingy. AHHAHA, a thingy.

Thingy #1

You don't spoil me. No matter how much you think you do, you truly and utterly don't. Although you are quite an awesome person. For once I can believe someone whom is new and different. Someone who lied about their age though. I still can't believe you'd do that just cause you thought you had the blood of an 18 year old pumping through your veins. But the things you do and say. It's very funny and I'm glad that well you Answered my question. Of course only you would know that but really I know your problem. And for the last time I'm not in love with you even though it may seem like it I'm just here as a friend just as you are towards me. I also know that you are in fact in love with her. I just don't see why you don't trust me that you can't tell me who she is or the fact that you complain to me about yourself and how you're opening up to me. It's ok. Really. Being able to open up to others is great because it allows you to release all those feelings which has been building up inside you. You don't want to explode from the overload of all the things which has causing you stress. Anyways off the topic (gosh, i do that in real life and my stories) back to the thingy (ahahha, thingy) oh my i have forgotten. Just stay awesome. And i believe in you. And I also believe that if you tried hard enough then maybe it could just happen. But what is my opinion. I'm just a kid.

Thingy #2

It took me a while you know. A really long time actually. Which is why I'm asking. Why now ? Why after all the things I had gone through would you do that to me. It actually is pretty hard. Especially for me. You know all the things I had to go through. Yet I'm glad that after all that we're still friends. Pretty good friends. Which is why, DAMN IT, why are you causing me trouble. The signals, the signs, the message, whatever it is that you are trying to tell me it's al wrong. And you're very awesome. Great. Although not many people can see you that way I do I'm glad that I do. Because really you are one of the nicest persons out there. Just stop being so unfair and please...let me move on with my life.


GAH. That's like fail. I need to try harder. Next time ?

Smiley Wiley

I could not stop smiling today that it got to a point where i just had to laugh crazily in my head and resort to biting Sukhman. That obviously wasn't what happened today but the smiling was true.

There is not a lot of things I wanted to say today but if you are ever bored try this helpful website which provides you with great advice. I think so anyway. Enjoy :D

HELPFUL ADVICE WEBSITE

Destiny.

We just can't be seperated. Every second of every minute of everyday, we are always together. Afraid of being separated from one another. The pain it brings when it does happen. Licking it, tasting everysingle flavour it has created. It just turns me on... LOL


GOSH I LOVE CHOCOLATE.


really.

and in case you dumb idiots haven't realised that thing above was chocolate and not a person. laugh out loud. Ok seriously I'm messed up. Chocolate has messed my head up and i've been going crazy during the weekend not being able to resist the temptation of chocolate. That's so unfair though. The past two weeks I've been working so hard to flatten my oh so not flat stomach and because of Halloweeny it's gone to a waste and down the drain it all goes. sigh*



school tomorrow.




i made myself notes that i must show myself tomorrow.

rara wtf is wrong with you. seriously. sigh* im glad that you have that thing. That great persona. I don't know. There's something about you that i really think is quite awesome and stopping me from completely hating you. I'm also quite sure that you don't read this which is great because I dont really want to talk about this with you especially those conversations lately have been quite odd. Not odd, but odd because it's you. Ha, i'm glad no one knows what i'm talking about, nor who. And no people I'm not crazy and have an imaginary friend this is a real person, so don't be mean.



internet, my my, it's oh so gayyy.

it's working now.

i'm glad it is.

I am not...

i am not happy. i am simply ecstatic, joyous, over the moon, glad, full of life, but not happy. who am i kidding of course i'm happy because of many reasons many of which i wil not speak of.

MY WEAKNESS: sweet stuff.
yes, this statement or that fact is very much a fact and is my one true weakness. i cannot help but be a sweet tooth nor can i resist the temptation of the sweetness sitting on a desk waiting for me to reach it, unwrap it and slowly place it in my mouth as it melts. aah. the sweet taste of sweetness. gotta love that. it may no longer be a wonder why i at many times am of high energy at the most questionable times of life. this is of course aswered by the one thing that i have no control over. my addiction to the sweet taste of sugar and all the many poisons it has done to oneself's body as well as the image of this thing.

gotta love today.
halloween.
just take the lollies from sunshine.
:D



still having those random thoughts. really ? yes man. it's so hard to let go. even though people say it's v. easy it's actualyl v. hard and it's not like the problem has disappeared i've just hidden it and covered it from what it really is. can't complain though. theres people who have worse lives than i and although mine may suck i know it's not the end of the world and that im 100% sure off, for now anyway.

Tone: Poetry

Your past haunts you when you least expect it.
That's what I said to Jasmine moments ago.


But I'm joyous. And that's great.

Tell later.
make the most of now.


Purp. YOU ARE EFFING GAY. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THOSE THINGS.

Lotus

It's eating me away.

The guilt inside of me.

Yet, what have I done.

Did I do wrong against you.

Jasmine, Jasmine, Jasmine

You really have done it this time.

There's nowhere to go now

But forward.

Still, where that takes you

Is unknown.