Firstly I'm not in love with Tomasso. Nor do I found him attractive. It was more of...well I had other things on my mind. Truthfully I wish I was attracted to him. It'd make my life easier. And now I feel so stupid asking him the questions I asked him. Posting it here wouldn't make much of a difference cause everyone already knows.
Tu hai a ragazza? - Do you have a girlfriend? Come ti chiami? - What's your name? Prendi mio a Italia? - Take me to Italy?
After those stupid questions I did realise, not that I hadn't realised before but still. I asked better questions, I suppose. I'm annoyed at him. Don't ask why. Next on my agenda is how great today was. Not. Actually maths was fun. Mr Cantlon decided that Maths is boring sitting in the classroom writing all the time, so he made activities for us and the first one was the best because we were outside, in the sun and i was lying down on the grass.
I'm excited for tomorrow and maybe the city2surf. I'm not quite sure but hey, it's too late now. Jasmine here I come. HAHHA.
Things have changed. I don't know if it's me or him but maybe it's the turn of a new leaf and there was never meant to be a me and a him. I don't know. I should just like not think about it so much. I don't want wrinkles. Or pimples. HA.
oooh. remembered this, yesterday with Anavi we were talking.
Waking up late to a an eventful day, one which I hadn't expected. I'm so happy right now and this is probably why.
Well if I were to talk about my WHOLE day it would take me forever. So I'll just start at 4pm of Thursday 8th. I caught Anavi's bus right and we went to her house. I'm pretty sure her brother thinks I'm some kind of retard because everything that came out of my mouth seemed pretty stupid. Such as, is there a pole there? When there was no pole in sight. But yeah. At her house I was too, I don't know. I asked her permission for every single thing I did. We also had a snack which was just milk for me and cereals for her. LOL. Then she got changed and couldn't decide what to wear over her clothes and so I helped. Skip all that. Finally got to the car and in the car we were just talking about anything really. We couldn't stop laughing either and we started taking pictures. It began on Maxwell St and from then on, there was pictures. It was a long drive and soon we got there. Actually, Anavi's dad went straight past it and I knew where it was but I was no help at all. So we walked to the Barracks and it went really quick. We got our stuff and the lines were pretty short. On the way out I got these 'Business' Cards and free Gatorade (4 of them) and we went back to the car. Thats when Anavi's mum decided to stay back longer and shop and also eat dinner which was fine with me because I'm not the one driving. So we went to MYER and while her parents where shopping, me and Anavi looked around at the dresses and what dress to get for the formal. Once we went through most of the floor we went dowstairs to smell the perfume and there was this nice one. BOSS Hugo Boss's latest perfume and it smelt good. I still have the card with me. Then we left and went to the Apple Store and and we took photos right. After we got help. HAHAH. It was so fun. After that we had dinner at this curry restaurant and ate this nice bread thing which actually tasted nice. I was eating so slow and I felt embrassed cause they'd already finished and I was still eating taking my time. We left once I finished and when we got back in the car I was just so tired I wanted to sleep. I was telling Anavi how she succeded to get me tired and make me fall asleep early. Came back home at 9.20 which wasn't long ago. And now I actually am really tired. Until tomorrow.
More details on Anavi's blog. If she writes one. Which she will.
Sayounara
p.s. that retarded one was meant to be a scenery of Paris but it got fudged up.
I’ve been lying to myself. I'm trying to show myself that I'm happy. The truth is I am happy but there’s times when I just want to cry because I know that something isn’t right and that I don’t really have what I want. But on that basis not everyone gets what they want. There’s just not balance in that. So, the reason I wanted to talk about this was because I saw Bilal today. Really, yeah. He was one of my classmates at my old school and I once had a thing for me. At first I didn’t think that I liked him and that I'm just a stupid little girl. But now that I'm older and more mature and realising my true feelings towards others I kinda miss him. We weren’t close. Well at one point we were. Me, Samantha, Tyler and Bilal. We were a group that was happy and hung around each other at lunchtime and played handball. Those good old days. But as the years passed I began focusing on my studies, Tyler & Bilal and Samantha on whatever she was doing and we seemed to just separate. Thinking about it just makes me want to cry. I'm so sad (the stupid, lame, sad). Back to the story. In year 5 or maybe 6 I had a crush on him or liked him whichever one and in year 5 was the year I started going down. The people whom I hung around were very influential and they were the so-called ‘popular’ group and I was part of that. And so I liked him. But because of my genius ability he treated me like a calculator and whenever he saw me he would always ask me multiplication questions which I found annoying but what can I do. So yeah. I don’t know. The same thing still happens to me. I'm still the same unwanted girl except now I'm not even the smart one. I don’t have any traits that people like; even my laugh is becoming more and more hideous as days pass. I think it might be your fault. Not just you but a lot of you put together. All of you have impacted on so many parts of my life which has turned me into who I am now. Confused about who I am and always doubting every decision I make because of the fear of what you did to me occurring again. And you know what it hurts. Bad. I'm not gonna listen to what anyone says. I know that I'm not the best person in the world nor am I the prettiest and I'm quite sure that I'm overweight and if you are going to tell me that I'm not overweight and it’s just baby fat or muscle then FUCK off. I don’t give a fuck what you think because I know the truth and it’s time for me to accept who I really am and see me as me without pretending to be anyone else and try so hard to fit in with everyone else even though I know that I'm the odd one out. The one who’s always quiet because she doesn’t belong. I don’t like that. I don’t like being excluded. Nor do I like being included because you feel sorry for me or because you have to. I just want to fit in with people who are there. I just want one person who I can rely on and is HERE in Australia. I know that if I was in Philippines life would be a blast because I have family and friends there and we had the money too. AND for fuck’s sake people I'm not fucking rich. Gosh. I can’t even save money. The money I have, I have to work for that and I'm annoyed now. This was just meant to be a heartfelt blog and now it’s turned into something else. IT’S YOU FUCKING FAULT. Why did you have to exist in my life?
Today was late. I don’t like being late very much. Now that I'm in SRC and actually got what I wanted I don’t want it to be thrown away because of the bus driver. It’s not fair. The day was rather short really. Maths, well it was maths. No ANGEL either, so I was quite disappointed. Commerce on the other hand, well it was boring too. But the good thing is that for once I understood what the lesson was about, the first time in a long time. And that made me feel proud. At lunchtime it was funny because Xu was annoying us and he was trying to kick the ball and he failed. Literally. I, Jasmine, the retard who just sucks at soccer, is better than Xu. Woah huh. It was hilarious. Sport was afterwards which was the same as last week. Full of fun and laughter. I can’t help it. I just laugh at the most random things and I don’t like it. It’s actually really annoying. Highlights were teasing Jasmine and Himmat’s goals, Jasmine’s headbutt ? I forgot what it was called. I'm pretty sure is not that. The thing you do when you hit the ball with your head. Uhm playing Around the World with Anavi which we didn’t actually finish, the freak bus which started vibrating and freaked me out (and made me look like a super idiot because I jumped out of my seat), my REALLY REALLY REALLY lame call about how I’ve made so many fail calls to Sukhman and I was like something about calling him on his phone. Basically it was just that bad. Then we got back to school and I decided that I wanted to go home early and walked really fast and still managed to miss the train as I have been doing a lot lately (the miss the train part) so I went back to the plaza and sat there with Jasmine and Himmat. Oooh, I showed them my arm right and Himmat was like woah that’s huge and he was like arm wrestle and he said it feels like I'm vs.ing a tank guy and I stopped and looked at his arm cause they were huge too and then I realised that he just called me a guy and had a mini go at him and then I slapped my head and then he and jasmine made fun of that. He then began to mock me and it was funny shit. Jasmine² couldn’t stop laughing and it was just funny. We went to the station and we ran up the stairs. Wow, was I in pain. But yeah, now I'm home so it’s all good. I'm being a good girl and helping my mum because I have to make up for tomorrow and I know what I gonna wear. Kinda.
At the moment it feels like I can relate to the song I Hate That I Love You & Been Waiting. I don’t know why but whatever right. HAHA. One last thing:
It has never occured to me how sleep deprived I am. Maybe people hassling me to sleep at 1 in the morning finally hit me that 'hey, it is quite late'. And on top of that, waking up at 7 in the morning after only 4 hours of sleep you'd wouldn't really wonder why every few minutes you're yawning. Although this has been brought up I'm not changing who I am. If I want to sleep late and wake up early you can't do anything about it except join me or ignore my problem.
Frankly I was quite happy that today was going to be the SRC and everyone else Training Day. With the food and activities which was prepared for us, I was actually glad that it was held today. But seriously it was exactly what you had expected. A complete waste of time. Except maybe the Krispy Kreme doughnut (which I haven't had for a while) and the pizza we got to eat at lunch. Apart from that I could have, really just fallen asleep. But because I'm a good role model and I'm there to represent people I have to maintain poise and elegance so i just stayed fidgety. The day lasted quite long. Sad really. I didn't even get to do what I want to do because there are limitations in what I am allowing myself to do. At times I go to far and I'm just not being fair on myself so I have to take things slower. With that in mind I'm actually happy. Apart from a few minor things life's pretty good. I saw that and that made me smile and realise how good this life of mine is turning out. And the thought of it just keeps me smiling and helps me go continue the day (if that makes sense in anyway).
I've been quite busy lately, although I haven't beena acting like it and it's stressing me a bit. I mean not to the point where I'm pulling my hair out but enough to startle me and make confused and lost with whatever I am doing. Not that I can complain. I should be happy to have this life because it's what I asked for, right ? Well today it was really fun. Mainly during the middle of the day beginning at maths when Gabriel (the american exchange student) was in my class. And you know how I have a thing for the American accent, well I just fell in love with him. HAHA. I tried to talk to him as much as I could but I practically failed. And it was cool how we played with the chatterbox except he called it Cootie Catcher or something like that :) Overall that was good. And at lunch we was just in a circle laughing and talking. Something nice.
I'm happy to have Jasmine & Shirine back too. LOVE, ANGEL ;)
Another thing. I promised to write PJ a story in IST ;) So here goes. Actually; a summary.
All she wanted was to be popular. No one saw this coming. Georgina, 16, and a complete loser. She didn't want it anymore and when she moved school she changed herself and her total outlook on life. It's not that she was teased or anything. She just wanted more, more and more. Somehow what she had just wasn't enough for her. She would use the people around her and take advantage of the ones who didn't know better or was just too nice to say anything. It kinda reminded me of this other chick too. I do wonder, how can they be so thick...
Over the past year I've learnt so much things in Italian and about Italy itself. Words such as bellisima, il cane, and phrases and questions too che cosa fai di bella? But to me the most amazing thing yet is the italian guy :D
So yeah, I'm stuck at home supposedly doing my homework. But it's so boring so I'm just wasting my time on facebook. It's so productive. Seriously. HAHHA. Next week I'm off to Jasmine's house and we are going to do City2Surf. I do not know what made me want to go do it but too late now. I've paid. So I have to pay $38 just to run 14km from the city to the beach. You know I could have bought so many other things with that or instead kept that money to buy myself a new phone. But no, I'm an idiot and decided to run as well...
